6 Tips for Running a Successful Business With Your Romantic Partner

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Thinking of starting a business, or you already have a business with your romantic partner? Is reported that 43% of small businesses in the United States are considered “family businesses,” and 53% of them are run by spouses.

I have been running my transformational boutique agency, Be Courageous, with my wife, Jenna, for six years. While it may be a terrible idea to some, for us it’s been a ticket to a deeper connection and professional freedom.

One love, one business, one life

When you start a business, especially with a life partnerwe have realized that work is no longer “a job”. Owning a home business is more of a lifestyle than a job.

We do not instill a hard line between work and home because what we are working on in our business is also what we are working on in life. Our mission in life, to help others be braver and calmer, coincides with what we do for a living. Hopefully, the business you are starting or have started with your partner also feels more like a personal purpose. That feeling gets you through the days when it seems impossible to get everything done.

Related: The do’s and don’ts of involving family in your business

To protect your marriage and business, having this conversation

Ask the following questions to help your business and marriage run more smoothly. Be honest: This is not the time to say what you think the other person wants to hear.

1. How do we envision our business and home lives blending (or not blending)?
2. How do we imagine keeping life balanced between work and romance? Work will inevitably take over for a few days, so if one of you needs more personal connection time, how should that person address the other?
3. What will our dynamics be like during the workday? I love personally connecting with my wife during the workday to make sure life isn’t just work. But other people might have different modes or limits while working. There is no right or wrong here, as long as expectations are set and agreed upon.
4. Is it okay for us (in general) to talk about work at the table or on dates? The work will come up 100% in the conversation. Being alone on a date night away from business and the kids is often a rare occasion to get your partner’s attention. Jenna and I assigned a fixed amount of time in these scenarios. As soon as we draw the line at the end of the work conversation, Jenna leans over, takes my hand, and says, “Hi!” as my wife and not my co-worker. I love this moment.

Then schedule regular contact with your partner (Jenna and I meet weekly). This may seem like an exaggeration, but I assure you that it is not. Life moves fast with a family and a business, and you don’t want a year to go by without communicating with your most important person. If your relationship, whether as a business partner or a romantic partner, suffers, it will affect the other aspects of your life as well.

With four kids and a business, we can’t afford to waste time or energy letting problems linger or escalate. We ask where each of us may need support. We share observations and update our ways of working as needed. I suggest meeting on Fridays to celebrate the weekend together!

Related: What you need to know to run a successful family business

Six tips for running a successful business and relationship

1. Create a shared calendar and schedule all. The days fly by instantly, and it helps to see what everyone has on their plates. When we feel like we’re overdoing it with work, kids, or any other facet of life, we add time to the calendar for romance or connection.

Relationship Tip: when you ask for more connection with your partneraddress it in an “I miss you” versus “You’re not making time for me in our romantic life” style, which puts your partner on the defensive.

2. Make it clear what hat you are wearing. The different roles we play are like “hats” we wear. So if you’re cooking dinner together, ask your partner if it’s okay to put on your “work hats” before sharing your latest business ideas. Respect that the other person may not be in the same mode. If your partner isn’t up for a hat swap, check out tip #1 on scheduling. Pitching a job idea when your partner has a romantic candlelit evening in mind is like showing up to a black-tie event in a Halloween costume. Read the room and ask.

Relationship Tip: One trick Jenna and I use is to say, “Let the game begin!” as a signal that we are going to enter work mode. It’s simple, but saying those words out loud helps us turn from romantics to business partners.

3. Check each other’s day. While we know more about each other’s day than the average couple with jobs at different companies, sometimes we don’t know as it was the day of the other.

4. Maintain professionalism. We never take our clients for granted and we make sure our personal lives never leak. We present ourselves with confidence, clarity, focus and professionalism.

5. Check any arguments on the job gate. Remember, your partner is a colleague and excellent at what they do, so create an atmosphere that allows them to shine.

6. Build at least one “anchor” connection in your day. We always know that we will have time for “us” when we wake up and at night before we sleep. Knowing what to expect on a regular basis will help your relationship thrive.

The biggest challenge of running a business with your spouse

My biggest challenge running a business with my spouse is not taking constructive criticism personally. Any COO and CEO conduct performance reviews with their team. But when you’re looking across the desk at the person you want to impress the most and they say, “Please bring me your expense reports on time,” it’s hard not to take it personally. When you wear your professional hat, it helps not to mix anything that you might feel is wrong with the relationship. For example, never say, “You’re always late for expense reports, which isn’t surprising since you never make an appointment for us.”

Related: How to receive constructive feedback effectively

The gifts of running a business together

The gifts of running a business together are many. I love leaving our business in the hands of the same person to whom I trust my life and the lives of our children. I love looking up to my partner while watching them shine at work.

Jenna and I can often sidestep problems that “only colleagues” can have through a lack of understanding. We are extraordinarily closer than most couples we know because our work is not a separate entity from each other.

Should you start a business with your romantic partner?

Start a business with your romantic partner only if In fact dig them, not just as her love interest, but as a human being. Think about whether you will clash or collaborate. If you don’t fully respect your partner, don’t, I repeat, don’t do business with them. But if you do, I highly recommend it as an extraordinary experience!