Having had a good enough parent is a vital component of mental health in adulthood. But what really is a good enough parent? How can one tell if one had one or not? This film guides us as to what might have gone very right – and sometimes very wrong – in our childhoods.
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“Strangely, and rather awkwardly, it seems no human being can ever really grow up sane unless it has been loved very deeply by someone for a number of years in its early life. But we’re still learning what parental love might actually involve. The word ‘love’ trips lightly off the tongue and few parents – even the most disagreeable ones – would ever resist a claim that they felt the emotion deeply, but that doesn’t mean that loving behaviour is any easier to understand in theory or practice in reality… ”
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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
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Beautiful 💝❤️🩹
Mostly bollocks
Turns out I didn't have a good childhood afterall
The problem I have as a parent of a 6 year old is trying to have patience for how slow everything seems to take her to do. I'm working on it but it's definitely something I struggle with every day.
yeah no . I already know.
It's extremely difficult to use the English language to reason.
The singular gender-neutral pronoun is THEY not IT
I'm keeping this video on a corner of my YouTube to maybe one day share it with my SO and discuss about parenting healthily. Thank you for this work!
Heartwarming video ❤ Deep inside we have everything we need to be good parents but we lost the connection to ourselves and to our intuition. This planet so urgently needs less narcissism as a result of twisted childhoods.
I think the best way to be a good parent is to parent your kids the way you wanted to be parented and the adult you needed as a kid.
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS DOING THIS MORNING, AND TO SEND EVERYONE SOME LOVE, TEE, OG NEED LOVE TO 💯🙏💪💙✌️🤪
what does it mean if I can’t remember if they were like this or not?
My failed every single one. My son is getting everything I never had.
i watch this to judge myself as a parent, and boy oh boy… now that my kids are already teenagers, i wonder if there are any remedies for my bad parentings 😢
i feel terribly sorry for them, and looking a way to fix it
The parent looks like John Lennon
what children need – as a seed, allowed to germinate and grow in its own time and soil needs and seasons and bear fruits naturally in time. what parents ACTUALLY THINK – there'll be a little tree, in a few years of giving it water it'll become big and bear fruits as soon as.
when ppl can't invest in themselves, forget about children. our parents generation shud've thought seriously before having us. and perhaps grown a little themselves.
While we all must strive to be such parents ,we will make mistakes and we wont always do the right or say the right thing and its important to forgive ourselves as parents too
God give us the path to be good parents. God is the father by excellence. He became so for who believe in Him, for who believe In his son Jesus Christ that came on earth and die for us to save us .
No bc why are we all victims of parenting that didn’t result in sane adult behaviors
Yelling at a child, calling him/her "AAAAAAGHHH you're very clumsy!!!" when they accidentally broke dishes, shaming the child in front of the friends: "you stink, you should shower", or telling them "disgusting", call them "rigid" because they have questions and want to understand things, all these things that my siblings and I experienced, cause a lot of confusion. I'm not quiet anymore. We have to acknowledge in order to heal.
Asian parenting has left the chat…
asian parenting is full of secret codes and impatience to say the least
My parents haven't succeeded any of these things. I have anxiety, depression, and recently diagnosed ADD (which my mom uses against me now). This mainly has to do with my mother. My father, though he has lived with me all of my life, doesn't talk much at all unless my mother is angry at me. He's practically a stranger to me. I used to always blame myself for every last thing that goes wrong in my life and even literally beat myself for it at a young age, but didn't realize that my parents have manipulated me at such a young age to the point that I couldn't make a single friend throughout grade school until senior year, but still nobody close enough to speak of such things. I've been suicidal since the 5th grade. I'm going to college now with no idea what I want to do, and I'm still stuck with a narcissistic mother and a silent father and sister. I have nobody to text, call, talk to. I'm alone. I have nothing but the idea that I won't forever be alone. I don't know how I can handle 4 more years of this. I still feel like a terrible person and I only hurt everyone. I don't want to nor do I mean to. I just need a friend. Not to even vent to. Someone I can have genuine conversation about anything with.
Your child should take you for granted. This is so true. This doesn’t mean being a masochist. It means being steady, present, consistent, and abundant in your love for your baby.
I love the animated THE LITTLE PHILOSOPHER with the "bla bla bla bla bla bla" 😂
While all this is ideal, humans aren't perfect machines. Thinking we need to have this to have had good parents and a good childhood is creating an impossible standard of perfection. In psychology there is only the 'good enough parent', no human can be all this all the time for another human. I believe it can also be healthy to witness a parent rect in a not calm way or be unreasonable, semetimes in their lifetime, then speak about it, in an age appropriate way, and find that sense of connection and safety again. Parents are not machines, their children will not grow into machines, and they will interact with other beings that aren't machines. There will be changes and stressors in their lives, they will have natural imperfect reactions, we all do and will. Let's not create such an extreme expectation. ❤️
I don't need to take this test, my parents were great.
…
Just saw the video my parents sucked
If you have to ask, they weren't great.
This guy sounds like a serial killer.
Yeah the only part I disagree with is the child not asking the parent how their day was. A healthy family learns to share love, if I child can never learn to show compassion to people who love and care for them that isn't a healthy relationship. Parenting may be a role, but if it is truly a healthy household then children must learn to respect and show appreciation for those who care for them. Now if the parents aren't able to parent, then the child has no obligation to respect them and it's only natural that they would grow to hate them. However parents are human, not some baby making robots like this video largely suggests and deserve to be treated with compassion as well. Of course parents aren't owed such treatment, however from time to time it should be encouraged as a way to treat people who value you. So that later on in life when the child finds love and friends they carry the ability to know when to put more importance into interactions and truly value those who value them. Also another disturbing point about this video is that it is encouraged to raise all kids with the intention of making them parents too when that isn't nessecarily a lifestyle that everyone subscribes too or wants. It's sort of pushing agenda onto children, which sucks. Being a parent is a major desicion that some might not even get to make. Overall great video but a few points are a bit disturbing imo. – The eldest sibling
God by most of these, all our parents failed
I always got to hear to stop crying caus i'm a boy and that i'm easy to have and never make trouble. So i learnd it's not ok to cry when you are forced to play socer at the age of 3 years and get the ball with full force in your face or when you feel bad you should go in your room and be quiet and play alone istead of crying and that i make my parents happy when i don't want or need anything. Well i guess it's payback time now that im over 30 and don't want to be alive anymore… the thing is the one who pay's still for the mistakes ist still me…
It’s depressing that my father delighted in humiliating us. He complained bitterly of his own childhood while abusing us. My mother never intervened and also was neglectful. It’s sad that some adult children still try to win their parent’s love but still aren’t able to see themselves as deserving of self love.
but we can still beat our kid right?…right?!
I just see a mum in the vedio, where is the dad?
Both my parents only tick 2 criteria.
I don't know if any of you have read Dune, but my dumbass narcissist of a father loves to call himself the "Kwisatz Haderach", and he talks about training every muscle in his body to move individually (which, of course, he can't do anymore), and how feeling a certain way is always a choice and he never chooses to be angry (except when he does), and how trump and elon musk are gonna lead the second civil war as the antichrist and the false prophet, and the reason he's buying all these guns all of a sudden (in our previously strictly no-guns household) is to basically save us and the US, he thinks he's gonna go body some conservatives "any day now", and of course, my (least) favourite, "no normal cats would piss and shit like this, they're trying to tell me they don't wanna live here anymore!" (He really just doesn't wanna ever have to clean up piss or shit, cause ✨️he's a hypocrite✨️).
And the whole time, his mom (who's living here for no justifiable reason) is shit talking me (his oldest child) and being his demented echo chamber.
He even tried to claim i wasn't his and disown me once.
And you wanna know the BEST PART‽‽‽
We're living in his fucking house right now, because my mom can't stop venting to them and relying on them to watch my baby sister (spoiler alert: they continue to be the worst parents ever, but my mom continues to be blind to neglectful behaviour) I HATE THIS 😭🤬😭🤬😭🤬
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