If you want to go ahead, take a hat. Or maybe a headband. Also, maybe a cape, in teal. Oh, and maybe hold a sword for a few hours. In the days following the coronation, politicians united in declaring the minister Penny Mordaunt as “star of the ceremony”.
This may have come as a shock to King Charles, who also played an important role in the events and could be considered to have won the ceremony’s highest honors. But there’s no doubt that Mordaunt – who, as Lord President of the Council, played a leading role – stole some of the show (at least for sad political obsessives like me). She looked great and carried out her duties as a swordsman with aplomb. She was considerably more important than the prime minister. At the end of coronation day, the chances of her becoming the next conservative leader fell sharply.
Now I don’t want to pour cold water on Mordaunt, who is likeable and funny. Although opinions naturally differ on his politics, and there was one Unsavory moment in the Brexit debate, it is generally considered a good egg. She is also an effective Commons performer. In the realm of likely contenders to be the next Conservative leader, she is far from the worst. Among her conservative colleagues, she would now be classified as a moderate.
But come on. Wearing an outfit, wearing a headband, and carrying a sword are not normally the main criteria for choosing a leader. It’s not Xena: Warrior Princess. It also doesn’t tell the conservatives much that being able to do this without falling makes you stand out as leadership material.
Admittedly, she could have completely missed the coronation, for example by spending two hours brandishing a plane ticket for Rwanda instead of Odin’s sword or whatever. Mistakes like this can happen. It’s a logistical nightmare. One minute you think the king is about to board the golden state car and the next you realize he’s headed for Nicola Sturgeon’s motorhome, which was accidentally parked nearby. It’s the kind of thing that keeps planners awake at night, with visions of the new monarch driving up the mall in an RV currently under police investigation. So, yes, Penny had a great day.
But the idea of her performance propelling her back into the race just isn’t serious country talk. This is the kind of thing that happens in places where political parties choose a leader even though they know he will be unable to govern, but they tell good jokes. It didn’t seem possible that a party could find an even more trivial reason for choosing a prime minister. Yet, even if it gets a lot of fun, the extra, positive visibility will help his cause.
History, it should be noted, is not filled with tales of political headgear triumphs. I have read a number of books on Napoleon, and none indicate how his rise to the top was undermined by his insistence on wearing a pith helmet during his early campaigns. And when he switched to cocked hats, there were no incidents of Jacobin leaders tweeting that Napoleon was “dressed like a boss”.
I fear, however, that as a political journalist this will require new skills from my craft and that my sense of fashion is too superficial and, dare I say it, conservative for the nuances of this new era. I can imagine the reports: “Last night Keir Starmer faced the gravest threat to his leadership after he was caught wearing an Armani tie, when serious political leaders are now all at Tom Ford. Party insiders are increasingly talking about the prospects of West Street, whose skill with pastel tones impressed many at Westminster. Or maybe: “The Conservatives launched their election manifesto yesterday. The centerpiece was a new vest policy.
Even in this new era, Mordaunt would be well advised not to rest on this success alone. If she wants to mount a serious challenge, it’s going to need a sustained style and possibly vintage jewelry. Where once it was enough for leadership candidates to raise funds and install phone lines, the most ambitious now need teams of modders to ensure their continued viability.
Then again, maybe the Mord-mania will pass. And ideally, for reasons that are not sartorial.
Follow Robert on Twitter @robertshrimsley and send him an e-mail at robert.shrimsley@ft.com
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