Given the current obsession with optimizing every aspect of our health, it was only a matter of time until the conversation seriously turned to sex. The World Health Organization emphasizes how sexual health is intertwined with “physical, emotional, mental and social well-being,” and longevity experts are placing sexual wellness—from emotions and pleasure to hormones and body mechanics—at the forefront of the quest for peak performance. SHA Wellness Clinic destination resorts and Six Senses hotels have launched specialized sexual wellness retreats. And networking events like Summit and Harvest are hosting sexual wellness sessions, mindful perhaps that the sexual wellness industry is estimated to reach a value of $1.1 billion. $92 billion by 2032Anything sounds more fun than an ice bath.
“Historically, sex has been reduced to something that do. But it also has a huge impact on how we think and feel,” says psychosexual therapist Kate Moyle, author of The science of sex and host of Sexual wellness sessions podcast. It urges us to remember that “what happens in our sex life affects other areas of our lives.” It is disappointing, then, that Nearly 40 percent of people in the UK are sexually dissatisfied.
Sexual Wellness Retreats and Practitioners
Six senses Rome – sexual education workshops with psychosexologist Dr. Leni (from €335)
Six senses Ibiza – Power and Pleasure retreat for women only (from €3250 per person for three nights)
Aisha Paris Smith – the somatic sexologist (practical) offers short sessions or personalized retreats of up to five days
According to founder of health optimization clinic Viavi, Dr. Sabine Donnai, sexual wellness is central to all wellness: “It’s crazy to think you can separate them. Our sexual wellness allows us to see our overall performance,” she explains. “When we’re stressed or need mitochondrial support or whatever, the first thing to go is sex.”
SHA Wellness Clinic has recently launched Sexual Wellness Units at its two properties, in Spain and Mexico, bringing together a range of gynaecologists, urologists and hormone specialists to optimise sexual health. Among the most interesting therapies? Shockwave therapy for the penis, to stimulate blood flow and achieve a stronger erection.
The Sexual Wellbeing Unit in Spain is headed by psychologist Cinthya Molina. What aspects are studied in the Sexual Wellbeing Unit? “Many things: hormones, intimacy, self-esteem and confidence, erection, pleasure,” she explains.
“We have made sexual wellness a central pillar of SHA health, as we believe it is a vital component in helping guests become the best version of themselves,” continues Alejandro Bataller, Vice President of SHA Wellness and parent group AB Living. Any guest can choose a sexual supplement (for €2,000), and a sexual wellness consultation is included in the Well Aging program. Uptake among guests, who are evenly split between men and women, and mostly over 40, is high.
Businesswoman Lucy Elliott* turned to SHA after receiving conflicting advice from a series of doctors in London. “I had been diagnosed with everything from depression to ADHD.” Investigations at SHA revealed that I had a “hormonal imbalance which was causing me to be brain-fogged, forgetful, have erratic moods and lack enthusiasm in the bedroom.” Three months on, things have improved greatly on the sexual front, “but I also notice I am much more alert at work.”
“Too often women simply tolerate fatigue or pain,” says Dr Helen O’Neill, founder and CEO of virtual diagnostic clinic Hertility. She points out that there can be long-term consequences if you press ahead: estrogen is neuroprotective, and data suggests that estrogen therapy in the menopausal transition may reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
As well as hormones, another physical aspect of sexual wellbeing is the pelvic floor, that hammock of muscles that runs from the pubic bone to the tailbone and is linked to continence but also orgasm. One of SHA’s most popular treatments is Emsella, a chair that emits electromagnetic waves to tighten the pelvic floor muscles, with more than 10,000 contractions in 28 minutes; the device is also endorsed by chartered psychiatrist and aesthetic specialist Dr Galyna Selezneva, of the Dr Rita Rakus Clinic in Knightsbridge, who believes it’s as much about the muscles as it is about “self-esteem, feeling confident about yourself”.
Emsella isn’t just for women. Molina says: “I just saw a man who had tried Viagra, everything, to try to get a stronger erection; he really just needed to improve blood flow.” After two Emsella sessions, he came back and knocked on her door: “It worked.”
When it comes to emotional and relational issues, Molina continues, men tend to come in with a straightforward “how do we fix this” attitude. Women are more likely to feel guilty (“what’s wrong with me?”) or obligated to have more sex. “Women don’t think we want the pleasure. The joy that we could claim. Sometimes we don’t think we can deserve pleasure.” Often their role is to encourage clients to articulate their problems – and then, help them understand that change – “and yes, even orgasm is possible.”
“A lot of sexual issues are psychological – they’re about anxiety or shame,” says Chloe Macintosh, the French co-founder of made.com, who has spent the past decade studying sex and sensuality. “People are stuck in their heads. We need to take time to be present in our bodies and learn what we need and want.” Macintosh is busy. As well as founding the sexual wellness app Kama, she’s very active on the “self-improvement” circuit.
Last September, together with movement specialist Nick Brewer, she launched Embodied Love retreats, with sessions to deepen sexual understanding and joy, from breath work, pelvic floor training and primal movement to workshops such as 5 Keys to Great Sex and Intimacy.
Should we all sign up?
“We live in a culture of distraction, where for many people sex has become less important,” says Moyle. Cultivating sexuality, she says, will pay off.
The next time I speak to Molina, on her desk sits a huge bouquet of orange flowers sent to me by a client. “I gave her tools so she could have a conversation with her husband and tell him how she likes sex, what she needs and what she doesn’t want.” The results, the client told Molina, were life-changing.
*Some names have been changed