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Excerpt from the Symposium on good mental health for autistic girls and women thanks to Yellow Ladybugs and the Victorian …
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Wow second to seventh grade me is remembering using quotes from whatever my current special interest was at the time to express my emotions 😂
I am a cactus, wow. Funny but very true. Thanks for that inside tip.
I can relate to the perfect pitch problem. Also, the arts being so integral to expressing emotions.
He just gets it! He really gets it. Thank God for Tony & his research. He's also got the perspective of having a son on the spectrum too. I can be highly empathic and autistic too!!!
The thing about art, it's so true. After my diagnosis, I started a YouTube page.
And initially I talked about my diagnosis but then I quit because we tell too much information and other people started threatening me because I referred to myself as being "on this spectrum" instead of saying "I'm autistic", and now I just refer to it as "the diagnosible nuerotype".
So I do art, my own music videos, and thrift stores and some other stuff. But THIS is the guy that gave me the courage to finish writing my book. Unfortunately I'm dyslexic and noise sensitive, so it came out wonkie, but I even uploaded chapters on YouTube of me reading my own book. (Heavily edited to flow nice)
I did not know I was autistic when I wrote most of it…. But I DID know I was autistic when I published it. It's amazing to me when I reread my own book… that character is autistic!!! That is me trying to get my feelings out!!!
I could indeed do it when I express it through a character, but I could not do it for myself. 💜
I'm very aware that my anger comes from others NOT respecting boundaries OR being constantly asked to do things that I can't do (things that are HORRIBLY uncomfortable for me, that other people find normal). My frustration is off the charts.
This man might literally save my life.
Yes.
Tony Attwood is a genius…he really gets it 😊
14:04 Being unable to “just relax” was so typical of me, until 2 things happened:
1) I learned about the connection between mind and body (I do know we as autistics have a problem with that, still knowing the theory works), i.e., if you relax your body, your mind relaxes and viceversa.
2) I unsuspectedly learned how to apply it when learning to drive. The instructor told me to relax my arm and to NEVER grip tightly the steering wheel, since it would dimish the control we both had on the vehicle. Me, loving to follow instructions and norms, as well as not wanting to die in car crash, willed myself to let the muscles relax despite the great difficulty that learning to drive presented to me, thank God.
So now I do the same anytime I feel myself stress for mundane reasons (and I discovered it is quite a lot during the day!), as much as I can. Subsequently, my anxiety levels have plummeted: because I force my body to relax, my mind is relaxed. بإذن الله
My daughter will vomit in her sleep if she is not well. I have never seen anything like it but you are right they don't feel it coming.
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Oh my goodness, I can relate to everything so far!!
They can’t sing 🎶 😅 I know everyone can’t sing
It was torture for me in the school choir 😢
And when someone can sing I sit there in awe and cry
I’m currently in college about to get my bachelors degree and I’m a psychology major. I wanted to become a therapist, but I honestly don’t know if I can deal with the toxicity and abuse in college. My professors are sometimes inappropriate. Is there any advice on how to get through college (especially the masters and PhD programs) for people on the spectrum?
There is no such thing as good mental health for autistic girls and women. There is literally no help available anywhere. No one cares about us and no one ever will. Even the Autism Association has no supports for women. What is the actual point of even getting a diagnosis when that is the end of the journey?
As an actually autistic male, I can relate to most of this. But please no jigsaw pieces.
OMG! I wish I would’ve known all this 60 years ago.
Instead I’ve being told I’m a narcissist Magnet because of low self-esteem and I’m not paying attention. That I have allowed them into my world. Granted I had a narcissistic mother and I was the scapegoat of family but that was only part of the problem.
I’ve been told wanting to be alone is not healthy but I’ve known for decades that I needed my alone time to rejuvenate my battery. I drank but I didn’t drink at home or at small gatherings with friends and family. I called myself a social alcoholic.
I played music with earbuds when I went to the farmers market. Not because it was noisy but I figured out it calmed / separated me from all the people that were there. Helped me stay in my bubble.
I had a handful of female friends but I’d rather keep the company of men.
Everything he has described, is me.
I guess I can stop beating myself up now from being different and the opinions of others.
"You are a cactus." Never have I ever related to anything more in my life.
One of the better videos I've watched.
Tony please read this I was in a psychiatric hospital starting at 10 and not out until I was almost 17.I react strongly to other peoples negative emotions .there have been times I thought people were expecting me to control their tempers
I perceive people as too intense quite often .When I was growing up I had a lot of depression For me getting through a day took a lot of energy .Being told No a lot when there were things I wanted and I was shamed for having the desire .I personified objects and some buildings .This was from very young .When I was in hospital they wanted to take that away .I was forbidden as teen to talk about my favorite things Source of greatest happiness was treated like it was a crime
I had very low frustration and lots of big upsets .I spent a lot of time and energy trying to avoid scream triggers
My life was full of agitated depression which got worse Treatment made my autism worse and THEY BLAMED ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED RATHER THAN THINKING THE TREATMENT WAS WRONG .
MY protests were considered “not wanting help “ What they called help was pressure to do what now is called masking .Might as well have told me to never breathe again .
Please read my bio “Hello Stranger, My Life on the Autism Spectrum by Barbara Moran as told to Karl Williams
In this book it describes my life since early childhood into my middle age .Autism made my life a constant battle with people
And how my life got better when I got to live on my own and met a naturopath who loved me as I was and first powerful person who didnt blame me for my problems .He was like a nurturing father I did know people who cared but they didnt know how to help
Thank you for talking about the energy bank .My life was like living with an energy loan shark .Getting upset when people yelled The intensity even if they were yelling at someone else .What I needed to do to get energy .My personified objects gave me energy but that was forbidden like it was treated as an illegal substance .
People went out of their way to take away what I needed for energy .I had to live with rage and depression
I was an underachiever in school even though smart because I had no energy and I was extremely anxious Trying to do schoolwork and going to class triggered anxirty
Yes
You literally can " feel" a room of people. It's overwhelming
I really want to see this painting that Tony’s referring to!
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on YouTube, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he can now respond to name, orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful
I came across your videos recently after leaving my 6th job.
I'm 35 years old and never understood why I just always feel wrong.
I started crying when I realized that I have aspergers. It's a relief. I can do research now.
My primary problem has always been that I am exhausted from being angry ALL THE TIME. And when you explained it here as stemming from anxiety and frustration, I've never felt so seen or had such a great moment of self-understanding. Until you made the comment about a cactus and then I laughed because it's true.
I can't hope to afford therapy to get an official diagnosis to try to get any accommodations for a work environment, but watching your videos is helping a lot.
My mom had zero tolerance for any (what I see now as typical ASD symptoms) "sulking" or displays of uneven temper. I was severely punished for being too unhappy or too angry or too much. I learned how to "take that look off my face."
Now i can fake it through the workforce, but every job starts to break down around 6 months when bosses get angry at me. Longest job I've ever had was 3 years and I was heavily medicating for depression and anxiety. I stopped eating or talking outside of work requirements and just spent more and more time sleeping to try to escape.
I left for another job (frying pan to fire) that followed the exact same pattern.
I have a little job now as a dog walker. I wanted to be an artist, but I haven't had the energy or the heart to paint or even sketch in years.
Thanks for making these videos. I feel like I can explain things to myself better now.
Yes, the psych ward was a nightmare. Somehow I had to pull the strength out of my ass to play their game, keep my fuming anger inside that I felt for being forced to be there, and be able to do what I had to do so I could get out eventually as opposed to boiling over and screaming my anger out which would result in me never getting out. It's one of those, if you aren't strong enough, you are so screwed. Not to mention, they need animals in paych wards and bird feeding
How many others do the flight response in regards to conflict?
As an autistic female with a fairly high sex drive, howdo ya know that it's the men who should be wary of me. Lol, no of course consent us needed which I always respect… however, it's pretty hard to rape me if I am a horndog. However, the social awkwardness or hurting someone's feelings (whether it might be a girlfriend or the dude hitting on me, etc) due to this sexual interaction, that is the part i don't like.
Dude, very insightful load of accurate info as opposed to the typical bullpoop.
Animals, especially bonding with wild animalslike the cheep cheeps or song birds I feed as well as the bunnies too. That bond is beyond special and rewarding. Dogs and cats are great too but remember, things have to be good with that pet's human caregiver. If the caregiver isn’t nice to you or all of a sudden doesn't like you or is mad at you, tis a major tradegy to lose the bond you have with that person's pet. So be careful
Thank you so much for the work you are doing.
I’m self diagnosed and I have a bachelors in nursing. I had a 4.0 in school and I loved it but finally crashed after school was over and never took my NCLEX. I’ve thought about going back to school, and talking about therapy made for and by women with autism has stirred something in me… 🧐
can someone summarize this for me? it’s too long 😞 and a bit awkward lol
4:49 I've done this my whole life.
6:45 Yes
22:33 Yup. Thank you.
art is not for growing mentally . We need words because we think and this way understand everything that happens – Recongition. Doing art to express is about setting conditions to perform first to understand later .Performing art is having emotions to flow forwards and experience your self more . Maybe you are enjoying experience – now what about the mind . You want to dance all the time being awake ? No therefore you are securing own health , being mentally managing own life is to use language . We need understand immediately to make choices – with own words. for emotions and physical experience is happening NOW – having own words. Nothing happens before thought for healthy mind.- the word.
I recommend everyone finding own language . Seek with dictionaries and the right word is going to appear .
lets no, Mind is always aware of body . Maybe you mean not comprehending , not having own words? How would you know something is happening , you saying if you are not aware – you are knowing . What aware means to you? To me aware is see it happening when somebody speaks with me . YOU Tony Attwood ARE aware and with your mind know what's happening. This is unnecessary belief and The video i starting being a pitty .
The body is a creature of the mind’s creation. Everything of body is first and appears itself in mind . And with mind i use the data of body to understand body .
11:25 I think I got hearing damage from that.
FANTASTIC!!! THANK YOU!!!💜💜💜
28:27 oh my gosh, that’s so me. (trigger warning) but I would probably still be cutting myself if I weren’t so germaphobic.
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