Ever wonder what a healthy co-parenting relationship looks like in a blended family? Know where you should look? If you answered “In a comic-book movie!” You are right! And maybe a bit weird.
Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright analyze how Paul Rudd’s Ant-Man (Scott Lang, if we’re being pedantic) tries to build a relationship with his daughter Cassie, in a blended family with his ex-wife Maggie (played by Judy Greer) and her new fiancé/husband Paxton (Bobby Cannavale).
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Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
Location provided by: Kels and Stephanie Goodman
“I want my daddy to be my daddy and I want my Joni to be my Jono.” Who’s cutting onions in here?
The parenting dynamic was my favorite thing about this movie. I wish I saw more blended families like this. I’ve terrors very hard to be friendly and cordial with my husband’s exes. One is receptive to it but the other is a different story.
What I just noticed about Cassie’s mum (and step-dad for that matter), even though I watched the movie several times before, is that she gave shit to Scott but never in front of their kid. And it’s amazing. Because it is so easy to make a child hate someone they just loved. My brother has two kids that I absolutely adore, I spent hours playing with them, teaching them, talking to them about everything, but my brother is an absolute ass. He was an ass to our mum, mum got very upset, it turned into a huge fight (that I did not participate in because I was trying to distract the kids) and, lo and behold, the next day the boys avoided me at all costs, like I was a leper in the olden days, they wouldn’t even look at me. It broke my heart. So, kudos to Cassie’s mum for not turning Scott into an enemy in their daughter’s eyes!
He is the dad I always wanted.
As a Russian girl I always watched these kind of movies rather skeptically, like, "1st world people's made up problems", and I am happy now that those problems in these movies are becoming more and understandable, which means my basic demands are satisfied and I can care about other things: how to build healthy relationship with people, what makes me happy, who I want to be with, what I want to do. Thank you so much for educating me.
Ant-Man is the most underrated Marvel movie.
"we treat children like they are dumb, but they are just inexperienced."
YES. thank you!
So sad to see, how this is so often the case.
Children go out on the streets to demonstrate for climate justice and they are just treated as if they were dumb.
"no you don´t know, what you´re doing. go back to school! leave this topic to experts…"
who is acting dumb here?
I love this!
Sidenote- requesting a take on Slumberland.
Sidenote sidenote- if you're going to change "boyfriend" to guy friend, might want to think about "girlfriend", too. It just seemed a bit jarring, in the moment. Totally relatable phrasing, though, so I get it.
I find it really sad that in the first Ant-Man movie, all Scott wants is to be there to see his daughter grow up and then he misses 5 more years of her life later in the franchise… It's so gut-wrenching, I can't even imagine missing that much time. Because he misses time when he's in jail, and then even more time later on when she's a teenager. Man, his arc really hits for me.
I like a fair number of Marvel movies but Captain America, and this movie are possibly my current favorites. End game had spectacle and others are more competitive in some categories but this movie had a heart that cared about family and still makes me smile. Thanks for talking about it.
Hank pim as two daughters. Hope in the movies and Nadya or Nadia in the cómics.
I'd love you to do a video on the relationship in Venom and Venom 2. It's really similar to this one, but without a child and far more screw ups. I'd love to hear your opinions on that relationship.
One of my friend's biological dad, step-dad and mom all lived in the same house when we were in high-school. They renovated the basement into an apartment with its own entrance so that they could still have their separate spaces while all still being there for the children from both marriages
I don’t understand why did Paxton him go
From his perspective that dipshit ex-husband of his girlfriend who doesn’t pay child support caused a super villain to threaten the life of his adopted daughter
My dad was best man at my mum and stepdad’s wedding. My parents split when I was small and did a good job at remaining friendly and I am SO glad about that.
I have determined that this is my favorite Marvel movie. It doesn't overstay it's welcome, the pacing is good, the acting is good, its fun the whole way through and it doesn't overdo anything.
In their effort to push the biodad to get his crap together, by telling him to leave on her birthday they are really just punishing the daughter too, who CLEARLY is so ecstatic to see him.
The funniest thing about that whole bro-ing down with your blended family thing, is that I actually know a blended family that's basically exactly like that, but every person in it lives in the same house! Their mother and new stepfather decided that they wanted to have the dad as close as possible, and he was super happy about it because he loves his kids. After a while their mom started to joke that maybe her husband was more in love with her ex than she ever was 😂 they're basically best friends now lol and the new husband has been married to the mom for a little over a decade
None of that shit is healthy and should be on the big screen. Dad and mom married and with kids is how it should be. Degeneracy propaganda, the usual for neo Disney.
More blended family movies! Especially with domestic violence by proxy!! (Are there any?)
So many ripped on Jim and Maggie in the first movie but they were more than merciful and reasonable all things considered. Scott may have the best of intentions with what he did, but he still has a record and that can't be ignored.
Jim was hostile and all, but he specifically said that he could have arrested Scott for even showing up but did not. He also only said that to him when Cassie was far out of earshot and even saw him off with Cassie when he left. Despite his lack of understanding, he truly wanted Scott to turn his life around and was disappointed when it seemed like Scott was going back to crime. He only proved an antagonist as he didn't know what was going on but after Scott or Ant-Man defeated Darius and saved Cassie, he helped him escape even though it was his job to arrest him and scrubbed his records to keep him out of jail.
Maggie was not hostile but kept her firmness with no bitterness, hatred, or vindictiveness whatsoever. Her demands were very reasonable as she can't do anything about society and his records can't be ignored. She may have had a bit of a grudge for what he did, but at her core knew he was not bad. When Maggie told Cassie that Scott gets confused at times, there was no disgust in her saying it. Of course she didn't understand his situation either but wanted him to be the hero Cassie thought he was.
You might not see this, but the weird blended family is mine. My ex and I get along better after the divorce than we did together. Her new husband shows up to all my family functions and is fully accepted. Often it ends up with he and I picking on “our” current/ex spouse together. He is the best person I couldn’t ask for to help raise my kids. It’s weird, and sometimes it’s feel wrong because it is so far from the norm, but it works. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I just found this channel and I love everything about it. Thank you both.
I can't agree more. Every kid deserves more than 2 adults that love them. I personally grew up with four and it did me a world of good!
Another thing that makes me feel for the protag is this. There are two entire incomes supporting this child, and look at that house. They're clearly doing perfectly fine. He is trying to get back on his feet with a criminal record which is incredibly difficult from every single view point, and just to see his daughter that he absolutely loves and adores, they're trying to suck what little money he has out of him. Like "you gotta pay a tax to see your child". It's not fair for how genuine he is.
This doesn't excuse not supporting your child, but you have to cut him a little slack since he's clearly trying
This is a great movie. I just rewatched Ant-Man yesterday I forgot how good it is.
So awesome!
The first movie also really shows off it is for people with a criminal record to rehabilitate and live a good life and how his situation makes it incredibly difficult to provide for his daughter eventhough he was really trying.
I really wish this was longer, but thanks guys!!
I wish my family blended that well
My mom’s boyfriend tries his best to respect my dad but my dad is looking for every flaw possible because he “just wants to make sure my mom is happy”
My ex husband and his new wife and I are friends. Ex and I have a 12 year old son—for now he’s an only child on both sides. We got married very young. I was 18, he was 20. We had our son at 19 & 21 and split up only 2 years later. We’ve celebrated lots of holidays together, we do joint birthday parties every year. We sit next to each other during school functions. We text regularly in a family group chat. During exchanges, we tend to get caught up in personal conversations a lot—especially his wife and me. Our son has several diagnoses and is in special education. It’s hard to parent him sometimes due to his symptoms so we have had to learn to support and lean on each other. Mutual respect is so important in a coparenting relationship. I genuinely consider them both family and care about them as individuals—because that’s what’s best for our son but also because they are good people and are great parents.
Agree with Johnathan. These are two of my favorite movies. I love that they eventually got on the the same page. Scott Lang walked that fine line with Step Dad in the first movie and then they end up buddies. I love this. Also I want that hot wheels collection container & the quantum accelerator. I have a great matchbox car collection, and they're just not passenger friendly at that size. I wanna drive my Earth Mover at least once! He's not a deadbeat, he tried to save the world and things went wrong with the rest of the gang. Edgar Wright did a great job and I love how Scott ends up with Luiz & his prison pals in a security business, and Luiz is constantly suppressing a panic attack, " My hearts really racing and I feel like I'm going pass out but I think it's ok". Felt that!
I struggle to co parent well with my ex, because I have ptsd from sexual abuse from him. It hurts me so much that that comes back on our son.
I agree, I have never considered anyone else as my mom and dad. I’ve had 2 wives since the divorce of my kids mother and have never had them call them mom. To me, their mom is their mom, it makes me upset when I see my brother wish another person Happy Mother’s Day. Both my parents have passed and to me it’s a slap in their face, but I don’t say anything because if he feels that close then that’s on him and has nothing to do with me
Scott has always reminded me of my brother in law who’s a single dad. They really did a great job with Ant-Man
Honestly in 10 years if I ever end up in a relationship with involving a step kid, I’ll probably watch this again just to remind me of some of the points mentioned in this video. Unless the bio mom is a jerk and the both the kid and the husband don’t like her, but then I’ll still probably let the kid choose what to call me.
This is so beatiful I wish my family was like this without the useless powerstugless and resentments from the past
4:09 THIS. Really hurts so much once you see Endgame, he missed another 5 YEARS of his daughters life and to him it felt like an hour.
I really like what the movies did with Cassie's parental figures because it's such a change from what she has in the comics. If you want non-spoiler backstory, you should read the original Young Avengers run, but (spoilers now):
-Scott is dead to start
-Cassie's mom and boyfriend(? might be husband; still a cop) get into lots of disagreements with her; mostly about making choices/trying to do their best for her but ultimately pushing her away because they end up coming off as controlling to her
-Cassie ends up stealing Pym particles or was overexposed to them at earlier stages of development so she ends up with biological growing/shrinking powers (she joins the YA as Stature)
-The YA goes to fight against some of the actual Avengers/X-Men to find the Scarlet Witch (yes comics are weird sometimes, this is post-House of M I think (mutants were really angry at Wanda at that point)). This leads me to the end of this bit:
-Cassie Lang dies at 14. (Dr. Doom killed her)
(Sidenote: when Doom turned good he apparently was able to undo 1 thing he regretted and resurrected her? I don't have as much context for that because I tend toward team/big impact comic issues like YA (she doesn't rejoin the team) or Inferno.)
(Pretty sure her current Earth-616 codename is Stinger?)
The old saying of "it takes a village to raise a child" feels like it took on a whole new modern meaning right here with the idea of positiveness of blended families with a child having more adults in their life who genuinely care and have their best interests at heart.
It's so wild watching these when the video order has changed
My ex-husband's new girlfriend and I would be that tight if my ex-husband wasn't so insecure and well I'm not going to get into all of that but she's amazing and I love her
The saddest part is that Scott was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years. All he wanted was to be there for his daughter but he couldn't😢
3 most underrated MCU films: Antman, winter soldier, and the first Iron Man (yes.. I know).
As someone so beat over the head with the assumption you have to get married and divorce is so unforgivably bad, I really appreciate Decker’s comment about some people being better off apart when they can agree on co-parenting and not depend on one another in marriage. I am myself PRO marriage though I think the shame we throw on folks (and ourselves) when breaking an unhealthy union doesn’t help anyone.
niceeee hahahaaa……love this haha……. just realizing him losing even more time between infintiy war and endgame is sad…..9:30 yessss………
Ant-Man: hi peanut.
Deadpool: loveyou peanut.
Uchiha Sasuke: "Sarada, you are my PEANUT!"
At least in Canada, custody and child support aren't linked, and in a situation like this, child support would go the other direction (if Scott ever got to actually have Cassie live with him), or not at all. The one with less income and assets doesn't pay, that makes no sense
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