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Free-Range Parenting: A Mom’s Guide to Raising Independent Kids





Parents are more scared than ever. The media warn of “Stranger Danger.”

Lenore Skenazy says this is foolish. Parents should let their kids be MORE independent.

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She calls it “Free Range” parenting. She says kids are healthier when given unsupervised freedom. Parents are happier too.

But what about the kidnappings?

Skenazy points out those are extremely rare. It’s MUCH safer for kids to walk outside than ride in a car, yet parents rarely worry about driving.

Today in America, some parents have even be arrested for letting their kids walk outside alone.

We asked her about that and much more, in our full interview.

47 thoughts on “Free-Range Parenting: A Mom’s Guide to Raising Independent Kids”

  1. OMG!!!! Any smart person knows it’s not the distrust of our children. It’s the distrust of so many sexual predators and deviants that makes us worried.

    This is just another Liberal analysis not based in reality, and I pray that parents don’t listen to it!!! If kids are depressed and anxious these days it’s because they have unlimited access to the internet, and their brains are NOT developmentally ready to handle it. And, in fact, most adults aren’t either. Additionally, so many parents are distracted by their devices or their addictions that children are left to fend for themselves which causes depression and anxiety.

    I’m so happy that this boy wasn’t harmed by someone. But, parents, make no mistake about it. It was pure luck that kept that boy safe, not his mother’s irresponsible, insane behavior!!

  2. I was 14 and hitchhiked across America 2 twice. Yes you're going to encounter weird people often but it was a good experience. It actually changed my life and made me much more independent and normal. Prior to this I was a raging teenager in the 80's. I am now a general contractor who works for luxury homeowners. It really gave me the ability to read people, push the agenda and give to others with compassion.

  3. As it always happens children at a certain age 10-13 have the capacity to do many things. It negotiating the dangers that they can’t handle. Notice kids that age go missing? It’s because they are given freedoms they aren’t ready for.

  4. I agree that children need more freedom as they grow up and become more independent. It’s a balance, of giving them freedom and keeping them safe. My sister does this with her 5 kids and they are all happy, confident, and obedient. I am a mental health therapist/counselor and kids that are neglected always figure things out and are very independent.

  5. My kids played outside in our yard, climbed trees and played in the dirt. They did ride bikes to friend’s houses that were close by. But it was hard for me to let them go to far on their own. I made my daughter walk to Middle School but I followed her in the car. A police officer saw me and I had to explain what I was doing. He laughed.

  6. Being a parent requires parenting. The world she is talking about no longer exists for the majority of our society. Keeping our children safe these days requires more diligence. She got lucky her boy didn’t get kidnapped. She is very out of touch with reality and embracing an ideal that does not apply.

  7. When I was a kid in the late 90s, my parents had an established zone, not too far from the house, where my brother and I could roam. Going further required permission, and for my parents to know our whereabouts. When my little siblings came along, my parents had bought walkie talkies, and their zones in the early 2000s were larger than ours were.
    We went off on our own and were trusted to handle ourselves appropriately – at the same time, if there was at any time a need to get us, my parents knew exactly where we were (unless we lied – which none of us really ever did).
    Unsupervised, but with a safety net.

    All of us had jobs in highschool, took off to Europe in the years after highschool, launched from home successfully before 20, and are functional and married with kids now. So clearly, we were given adequate space and independence to grow into competent and confident adults.

    Back then, other kids accused my parents of being too strict and helicopter parents. Now they would be considered free-range – or possibly even neglectful – by modern parenting insanity. Times have changed, and not for the better.

  8. This is so idiotic! Can they not see that all this helicopter parenting is why we have all these kids turning 18 or 25 or even 30 that are TOTALLY unprepared to be on their own making their own decisions! 😳

  9. I’m a generation X member. My parents kicked us out the door in the morning and said “ go play, stay out of trouble and be home before dark.” At six years old I was exploring throughout the woods a mile from home building forts and tree houses. By 11 I had my own shotgun and would go hunting by myself or with friends. This was not strange it was completely normal back then. Kids today are coddled and over protected from everything. My own sister wouldn’t let her son play outside in the front yard. She didn’t grow up like that and I have no idea why she’s like that. But she is not alone it seems like every parent is like that today.

  10. There’s exceptions to every rule just because it didn’t happen to him doesn’t mean it won’t happen to other children and she should be charged with some form of negligence, you’re not allowed to leave a child home by themselves 16 or younger so why would you let one travel legally?

  11. Why? Because society has changed 100 fold since that time. There’s wanting things to be one way, and there is also reality. Wanting something doesn’t change it overnight. Like anything, you base what you do, and do not do, on the reality. If you live in a fictional world, you think like this loose headed woman. It’s not the same today! A child could be just waiting for a school bus and have something horrible happen. You can let children have freedom to be themselves, while also protecting them the best you can. It’s not easy, but this is the world today. You’re gonna need to take those rose colored glasses off and peer into the sun, like all of us have had to do, and deal with it. I’m not even sure things can change for the better at this point, but if it were to, only way is we need to be able to fight to make this a safer place for children and for everybody again, at least the best we can with what we have right now. Keep these crazies off the streets for one. PROTECT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AT ALL TIMES, BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME, THERE IS NO ONE COMING TO HELP YOU OR THEM, UNLESS YOU GET LUCKY, WE CANNOT COUNT ON THAT. Any improvement is better than none. But in the meantime, protect your children!

    On top of that, you’re sure putting a lot of trust in the train system and the people on the train, something could happen, if the train breaks down, misses a stop, etc, someone carries a heavy backpack with them, the druggies and the crazies, cartels and gangs that linger around areas looking for fresh innocent ones to do what they will. Or a sweet woman asking for directions who is working for someone to lure the child in. You’re out of your fkng mind. Sorry, not sorry, but you’re going to have to step into reality, whether you like it or not, because I can tell you none of us do. But if you have children, you have to accept the way things are today and do things accordingly. Keep your children safe! If you’re going to do anything at all as a parent, if you had to choose one thing to do, that would be it. KEEP THEM SAFE! THAT IS YOUR MAIN JOB!

  12. Thanks for bringing these important tooics to light. I walked over a mile to school, alone, starting in kindergarten. It was good for me. Now it seems every kid has a bus 😢 childhood obesity is also at all time highs.

  13. Here’s why I know she’s crazy. Because we start the story with going on a NY subway but then she talks about four square. Yes helicopter parents are horrible for raising kids. Letting kids be exposed to the worst shit imaginable even if it doesn’t happen to them they see it nonetheless is not quite the same as deciding which spot you get in four square.

  14. When I grew up, after school I knew I had shores my mom assigned for me every day, my homework and at very least young age I learned to distribute my time. I knew by 6 pm the shores were done before my mom was back home. And my brother and I turned out fine.

  15. I grew up in the 70's and 80's, typical gen x/gen jones latch-key kid. I walked about a mile to school everyday in all weathers. Me and my friends rode our bikes for miles all over town. There were railroad tracks behind out property, I used to hop slow moving trains and ride for miles, then walk or hop another slow moving train back home. In 6th grade my parents got divorced, my mother told me it was time for me to take care of myself; I learned how to do my own laundry, cook, clean, yardwork, etc. When I turned sixteen I started working 40+ hours a week and was rarely home except to sleep. I had no supervision and never got in trouble at school or work or anywhere else. Other kids my age at my school were the same way, we all had jobs in high school and made our own money. It seemed like the teachers had more respect for the kids who worked full time jobs.

  16. It depends on the kid. When my son was 5 years old he was 100 lbs and 4ft tall and mature…. we let him play outside on our street with friends alone. He’s almost 7 now and he’s allowed to ride his bike around the block and to friend’s houses a few streets over. My 8 year old has autism and we don’t let him go anywhere by himself. You have to assess your children’s readiness per child.

  17. Just because the bullet missed you doesn’t mean standing in front of the gun was smart.

    All y’all need to watch a bit more true crime about the kids kidnapped, molested, and killed back in the 80s and 90s. And they weren’t always running alone either. Should we live in abject fear? No. Should we be wise about when and where is actually safe? Yes. Being naive to dangers isn’t to be celebrated.

  18. I agree with this woman that kids need to be trusted, they need to learn how to live independent of their parents and think her message is great. However comparing the USA to Japan is never going to work and hasn't worked since the 1980s when this rise in parents locking their kids down started. Japan is one culture, while there might be a few foreigners living there there aren't droves of diversity like we have in America. It's been diversity that ruined the USA, it's led to it being more dangerous not just for kids but adults as well. So back when we were largely a majority white Christian America kids were allowed to do more, walk to school for miles (my grandma walked 3 miles each way each day to school in the 1930s), let them outside to play together with their siblings or friends while dad was at work and mom was inside doing the housework/cooking. We used to have that, and the reason we don't have it now is diversity killed it. While White Christian nations looked out for children much like they do in Japan, now we have droves of 3rd worlders that come from countries where there's no law on how young a person can be to engage in sexual activity, they also believe children are posessions and to be lorded over and even beaten when acting up; so we've ruined our nation and in turn ruined our children's lives and future and you can thank diversity for it.
    Maybe if you live in a majority white Christian area you can trust your kid out, or if you're Jewish and live in a Jewish neighborhood, or so forth but the diversity ruined it. Too many people, too many different cultures that don't care for children and respect that children are not adults and cannot do adult activities.

  19. Unfortunately, I live in an area that seems to have a higher than usual mexican cartel kidnapping issue with children. I’m trying to move but until then or my kids are big enough to do a better job of being situationally aware and able to fight back, I go out with them.

  20. Think… there are camera people watching these Japanese children so they are safe! None of these “live” shows are free from camera surveillance with production people behind the scenes! None of these live shows are really truth!

  21. Letting your children do things on their own gives them self confidence!!! Maybe the young people today who are showing such anxiety and mental illness would be better adjusted in young adulthood if the helicopter parents/guardians let them take on more responsibilities on their own!

  22. As kids we used to play outside together without any adult supervision because both my parents worked. Unfortunately, I also ended up breaking my wrist and my collarbone. I also almost fell out of a moving car when I thought it would be fun to leave the car door slightly ajar. My younger brother fell from climbing and he also broke his collar bone and almost drowned while swimming. My older brother was shot by a sparkler and was burnt when it lodged by his ear. It was good times and we were lucky we survived, but I'm one of those parents that won't even let my daughter walk home from tennis practice.

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