Hi I’m SJ *Subscribe for New Videos Every Week*
These are my thoughts on Gentle Parenting for toddlers – dealing with Toddler Tantrums gently and setting limits positively. It’s not always possible every time but I love these techniques and always feel having them ‘up my sleeve’ helps when I am dealing with a tantrum or when I’m teaching her new things. I really like this style but it doesn’t suit everyone – what do you think?
My previous Gentle Parenting Videos:
How I Discipline Without Punishment: https://youtu.be/6SVqYC-Xlls
What Is Gentle Parenting: https://youtu.be/2j8nrKiD5E4
BOOK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/184812614X/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EE7JX5HKA57DTSEDE2WV
Other YouTuber’s I love:
Ysis Lorenna Mindful Motherhood has great toddler tips and positive discipline ideas: https://www.youtube.com/user/lebeautygirl
Mellow Mama practises RIE parenting which respects children like adults and is really lovely to listen to on these topics too: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJKIYRVNQhGQUyUGqBq0D0A
First of all, I love your voice! I love your positive parenting videos! I would love to raise my baby using some of your techniques. Thanks for sharing!
I am familiar with those concepts and I know I can make the most difference by working on my triggers, but sometimes I just feel like I can't do it. My almost two year old wakes up happy, two minutes later she is having a screaming meltdown about the smallest thing. And on, and on, and on. One crysis after the other. When I go down to her level to name her feelings and give my compassion she either runs or throws herself, or hits me. And if I just take a moment away from her to breathe…she mostly just stops!!! I feel wrong for trying so hard to connect with her, and even wronger for letting her alone with her feeling. I just feel that I'm doing it all wrong and am causing her to act out that way.
What you said of the transition from baby to toddler is exactly how I’m feeling! When I’m unable to comfort my one year old I feel like a bad Mom-when he was little it was just boob & good to go after I acknowledged his feelings-this is for sure new territory in the world of toddler emotions. Feel like my life for the next little while will be practicing mindfulness and naming his emotions.
Gentle Parenting teachings revolve around one thing—no punishment. The name, Gentle, is camouflage for a hidden agenda. It is an attempt to seize the high ground—suggesting that you either spank or you are gentle; you can’t be both.
Couple quick questions. First, what do you do when it is a situation that involves a hard deadline or something that is for their health? I understand things can be avoided by planning ahead or using techniques like distractions or asking for help. But say for example, you are going to be late for an appointment and the child wont get dressed? Or they have a soiled diaper and refuse to let you change it? For arguments sake, assume you've tried everything and the melt down continues. You're definitely going to be late and the child is definitely getting a diaper rash. What then? These are actual examples from my past week. Also, what do you do when no one else in the child's life employs gentle parenting? How does that impact the work you do and how the child responds?
Thank youso much for sharing this .. 💚💚✨✨
This makes so much sense. Will definitely be putting this into practice with Elsie x
Really in the mood for a baguette now.
Hi Sj I've just started watching your gentle parenting videos. They are great. I am a new parent myself so love hearing about this theory. I was thinking whether this crazy scary world that we live in is making us into these more controlling parents as it's our way of protecting our children from all these horrible things we hear and see. What do you think? I love your videos I watched your baby name videos when I was pregnant. We called our little man Myles. What do you think of this name?
Oh my goodness….I’m so glad I’ve found your channel tonight! I’ve got 3 girls, 8, 4 & 22 months and in lockdown…really struggling with all 3 and different issues…..well after watching a few of your videos tonight I feel like I’m gonna slay this patenting thing when we all wake up tomorrow 🤞🏼 thank you for sharing and summarising all you knowledge! Wish me luck ! Xx
This was an amazing video! God bless you, beautiful 🌻. Thank you for sharing.
Why do you not have a book yet??? Love this series – so incredibly helpful for a mom who is compelled to follow this parenting method but NO idea how to go about effectively doing it.
Just watched this for the second time.. I’m sure I viewed it last year when my little one was 2, and I was the same as you, fine taking her out m, could calm her down etc.. however.. a year later… I hate taking her out 😢 in fact even before lockdown it was less and less and her dad would take her, Mainly due to I was pregnant/ now baby is here so I couldn’t cope with both! The issue is she never wants to leave a place, the park, a friends house anywhere she just changes and a full meltdown happens and just goes wild and doesn’t listen to anything I’m saying and I try to reason with her with everything.. nothing works and then when we talk about it later she’ll say sorry but it never seems to get better …. 😬😬😬
Very helpful thank you. You say ‘she’ and I wondered who this philosophy comes from 😍
Thank you so much for this video! My nephew is currently throwing horrendous tantrums and it’s had me stressed about my son going through the same thing. You really explained this amazingly and I’m feeling more confident about my son reaching this stage. Question, how do you deal with violent behaviour?
My son will scream while I am trying to talk to him. I would hold his hands and get down to this level and try talking to him about it that it’s not okay but he screams every time I try talking to him like he doesn’t want to hear it. How do I go about this?
Do you have any tips for someone who hasn’t practiced gentle parenting and the kids are 3 and 2 and they want to start
Great advise!!! But what if you were never taught about your emotions how are you supposed to identify their emotion in the moment? Serious question. I'm lost with what to do with my toddler. I was taught abuse and talking down is how you deal with children and I dont want to be that kind of parent. Please help
I’ve had the challenge of my beautiful seven year old daughter who was always so good and hardly ever had tantrums is now having them at seven, now she has a two year old sibling. So the age gap with the different timed tantrums and bickering that is so hard. We have just started to homeschool so that is a new change which my eldest has taken to really well but I think sometimes they are overwhelmed with one another. Sadly I have no support with them but I take it in my stride to be there for them both as much as I can each day
I really enjoyed this! Thank you!
I’d love to see more of these pleeeeease 😊 with real life examples too!
Thank you so much for this video! I’m new to gentle parenting but I have already seen the differences in my 23 month old.
The issue I have is when she is with the sitter (who is a relative) during the day while I work full time. The sitter is more about fear discipline and telling her to stop crying. I worry it pushes us back on the gentle parenting and my daughter acts out a lot on the days she is with the sitter. What should I do? What are you suppose to when my daughter spends most of the hours in the day with the sitter who isn’t following gentle parenting?
I’d love some advice thank you!
I feel like I have a hard time communicating with her when she is having a tantrum bc she just screams and talks over me lol
Wow… this video opened up a wonderful dialog between my partner and me. Thank you for sharing! It turns out that he and I have the same views and ideas about what makes a good parent, and how we want to raise our future children. Thank you as always, SJ!
My son is so hyper active! He loves to run around and climb (he’ll be 2 in June). And I have NO clue how to apply gentle discipline for him. My family is the “spanking” kind of family and I don’t like that. I need so much help lollll
Really useful for me as someone who works in child care in the 2-3 yrs room, please do more of these!
This made me feel a lot better
My daughter is 2 and she thinks everything is a game. She runs into the road, grabs dangerous stuff, does the exact opposite of what I asked her to do while smiling and looking back at me as if I’m supposed to chase her how do I get her to listen it becomes so frustrating for me
So let's say you put the wrong plate down, I'd get them the plate they want to avoid the meltdown. But thats not right either is it?
Oh thank you I was trying to gently parent my toddlers but I wasn't sure how to set up boundaries and say no.
I am really enjoying this video and its content, but I am also very distracted by the mirror behind you and seeing the door in it, because I'm always expecting something to happen
I'm here to learn to re-parent my inner child and build a healthy relationship with myself .
I love how you make that comparison and understanding from your own experience with the baguette
I keep making so many mistakes and keep backsliding still at times. I find when tired i definitely start to revert to ways of communicating that i dont believe in.
Another thing is I have to constantly work on myself to better support my child with their emotions so that i can be ok with being present for their emotions when they are ready. Young children dont have the vocab we have and even adults struggle to communicate and deal with their emotions in positive way… so how can a child? Yet it astounds me that so many adults have expectation that young children are able to just say it and not carry on or should know better.
Even 2 night i kinda feel torn about how i handled my tired 4 year old in car when they started to lash out in (frustration) mostly tiredness but we were about to go for icecream and i aborted mission as i really dont see the point if theyre going to be so unhappy in car and so tired that theyre repeatedly getting all worked up…she needed sleep not ice cream
But u can imagine how much worse it made it. I had already tried to give them time and talk them through twice although their second "moment" was much shorter. I gave heads up that if we werent ok in car we wouldnt go get ice cream as i wanted it to be a nice trip and for her to enjoy the ride to get the ice cream too. that was the third or fourth moment and i pulled out. Of course it upset her more. I feel bad about taking something away that i said we'd do. But worse of all i stopped showing empathy at a point. While I'm trying to be a positive parent ALL THE TIME! I feel it is something that takes not just rewiring ourselves but staying on top of and regularly connecting with resources and others that aim for similar whether it be You tube, studies, books, and/or friends. Oh and not getting too far behind in sleep ourselves too often.
I get the whole kinds of gentle parenting and I can go along with it but my daily struggle is the simple concept of me and my husband asking my toddler to do something. Put your shoes on, put your cup away, let’s go brush teeth. The daily tasks. And it almost never happens the first time we ask. I just don’t know what the next step is to not have me and my husband asking five times over. If the answer is to give a consequence then I would literally be giving a consequence all day long.
I wished i fount this page 4 yrs ago 😢 hoping its not to late if i start when my eldest is 5 years next month i feel such a bad mum plus i struggle with social anxiety,depression and Dyslexia so feel like am failing my boys i always wanted to be the kind of mum thats close/best friend
Next time could you use regular font where the background is purple please? It was hard to read
Thank you Esthe — I'm really appreciative of the contribution. I love the wisdom. Thank you for saying: "I know you are really angry right now. The other kid took the toy and you wanted to play with it. It feels helpful and nourrishing.
I'm a bit confused about the whole gentle parenting movement. How old are your children now? I didn't think gentle parenting was about discipline but then mentioned you don't have to discipline them as "much" at 4:01–4:04. Meaning you discipline them. What do you do when your child or children have already done something inappropriate? Like throwing food, hitting etc? I don't know what to do at this point. I've been gentle parenting and in some ways it works but in other ways I see I'm just being a push over and they're picking up on that.
I’ve been struggling so much, my husband is gone for 3 months and my daughter is about to hit 2. As you can imagine, it’s extremely difficult to try and maintain a calm demeanor when she’s hitting me and throwing a tantrum often. I appreciate your videos and I’m going to apply your tips to my everyday life.
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