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God Conscious Parenting – Abdallah Rothman





Raising Muslim children in an increasingly secular world presents many challenges. As parents how do we balance our family and Islamic values with the competing values of peers and the larger secular society? What does Islamic tradition teach us about parenting and what guidance is there for us to understand what we need to do in order to balance our roles as parents in relation to God, self, and society?

Dr. Abdallah Rothman shares guidance and practical tips to assist us in becoming self-aware parents and to help navigate the challenges of parenting Muslim children in today’s rapidly changing world.

00:00 Introduction
01:12 Common Complaints
03:14 Parenting in Today’s World
07:34 Parenting in Traditional Society
10:45 New Times, New Measures
14:57 Prophetic Guidance
19:06 Parenting From an Islamic Framework
25:16 Connection Before Direction, Mercy & Companionship
28:48 Prioritising the Relationship
31:06 A Blueprint for the Relationship to Allah
42:48 How Attachment Supports Effective Parenting
49:01 Becoming a Self-Aware Parent
52:12 Top Four Practical Tools & Tips
58:56 Practical Tools & Tips: God
1:01:33 Practical Tools & Tips: Self
1:03:36 Practical Tools & Tips: Society
1:07:44 Recommended Reading & Conclusion

Presentation Handout: https://www.cambridgemuslimcollege.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/God-Concious-Parenting-Workshop-Handout.pdf
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20 thoughts on “God Conscious Parenting – Abdallah Rothman”

  2. Moulay Derissy

    Gabor Matè explains this topic in more detail in his beautiful book. Hold onto your kids, why parents need to matter more then peers. May Allah be pleased with those who seek to help us nurture the children 🙏

  5. Mr. X

    Dr. Abdallah Rothman is a highly respected psychologist and scholar who is dedicated to improving the well-being and mental health of individuals and communities. His work combines academic training in psychology with a deep understanding of Islamic spirituality and traditional therapy techniques, resulting in a unique and innovative approach to counseling and psychotherapy.

    As the founder of Shifaa Integrative Counseling and co-founder and Executive Director of the International Association of Islamic Psychology, Dr. Rothman is working at the intersection of Islamic spirituality and mental health practice. He is dedicated to establishing an indigenous theoretical orientation to human psychology that is grounded in the knowledge of the soul from the Islamic tradition, and to making this approach accessible to a wider audience.

    The importance and transcendence of Dr. Rothman's work lie in its ability to provide culturally and spiritually sensitive approaches to psychotherapy and counseling for Muslim communities. By drawing on aspects from many different frameworks and methods of therapy, his approach is adaptive to the needs and context of each client and provides a holistic and integrative approach to mental health and well-being.

    His academic training, experiential and immersive study of the Islamic spiritual tradition, and experience as a counseling psychologist provide a unique and valuable perspective on the intersections of Islamic spirituality and mental health. His contributions to the field of psychology and his efforts to improve the well-being of individuals and communities make Dr. Rothman a notable and influential figure in the psychology discipline and in the Muslim community.

  6. Peace.n.Blessings

    We as parents are the guardians of our children. Take the initiative and try to replicate the “village way” in what you feel is comfortable. You ARE their role model, so step up your game and be the hero your child needs!

  10. Mamuda Usman

    Salaam Alaikum,
    Mashaa'Allah, alhamdulillah. Quite educative and relevant for todays worldly challenges. I wish I had a presentation like this two decades ago. However, CMC may do the part 2 for parents that missed the first 7 and second 7. May Allah SWT bless and reward you all at CMC for the invaluable work for His sake.

  11. SAR

    Asaalamu Alaikum Brother Abdallah, thank you so much for such an important talk. I could see and understand how crucial it is to parent our children the way you explained. Please may I ask a very important question. I as a parent to 3 boys did my best with my boys however thorughout the childhood years and even now their father constantly & deliberalty breaks /undoes what connections, bonds, love friendhip I worked hard to build. My sons are 25, 17 and 14 , they have very very little connection with me, even sharing a meal, a walk, an outing is not possible. I love them dearly and made so many wonderful efforts to be there for them thorugh various stages of life. they reject me all the time. The influence from their father is making them go towards unislamic lifestyle choices . I worry aobut their dunya and akhirah. What does a parent do in this situation when she and her parenting is constantly knocked down by their father . Please send me a reply , I am in such a state of anguish , despair and worry for them. They are a trust from Allah swt ,I want to perform my duty well.

  14. Modesty Pays Off

    Allaah…throughout the lecture I was thinking about Gabor Mate’s Hold on to your family – I said how much similarities in what you speak about and he’s writing about. He’s a fellow Hungarian,like myself, and can relate so much to his work. I read his book not so long ago and it made me realize an entire “book” about my story and what I do and why do I do that! And now as I listened to this of your lectures – after someone brought your book on Developing a model on Islamic Psychology into my attention- I know I’m in the right place and this is what I’ll pursue going forward in my life. This is my way. BaarakAllaahu feekum and may Allaah reward you immensely for your kind and compassion-filled work! Aameen

  18. mariam alias

    Assalamu'alaykum Sir. Thanks for these beautiful and thought provoking advice.

    I have a question:.
    You quoted the hadith on bringing up children.

    I came across a slightly different version:

    From the Prophet (s.a.w.):
    “The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.”

    From the hadith: Parents are thought to play and show them care and love in the first seven years. In this way they love and trust their parents.

    The next seven years are disciplining years. With trust and love for their parents, they can be easily guided with skills and disciplines.

    The third seven years they are viziers, prime ministers.

    In another narration, the parents are queens and kings with veto power.

    This third phase means that parents have given them enough guidance and skills so much so that the children can make decisions on various challenges in life, however when they are not correct, parents can still guide them.

    In the last phase, another narration mentioned that they are like business partners. Thus they are free to lead their lives and can consult parents on issues they face.

    I need your input on this version of hadith I quoted.
    Jazakallah khairan.

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