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Messages from the archive of Rutherford Hall, critical communications strategist
WhatsApp to Esteban: How was the meeting with Adidas?
WhatsApp to Esteban: Yes, I can see how Rishi Sunak, Keir Starmer and Nigel Farage all photographed in your trainers could damage the brand. It’s the kind of advertising that Nike simply can’t buy.
WhatsApp to Esteban: Well, if they really want to deter our politicians, we could capitalize on the company’s Nazi past.
WhatsApp to Esteban: I’m obviously joking. But is this really a problem? No one pays attention to the politics, and it’s easily fixed with a few shots of stylish people wearing them anyway. Who cares about the British Prime Minister when a global figure like that kind of love island Did you wear them outside a nightclub? A dozen young celebrities and work done.
WhatsApp to Esteban: Although not Kanye.
WhatsApp to Esteban: They could also rotate it. Give all politicians a new pair while run for the election. Make it a joke. “So cool even your dad will want to wear them.” Or maybe just ignore it.
WhatsApp to Esteban: Speaking of flashy sneakers, I was at a dinner with three ultra-high net worth guys (all foreigners, of course) and all they could talk about was new non-domiciled tax regimes. Both Labor and the Conservatives are promising to crack down, but Labor has really scared them off by going after their trusts and hitting them with inheritance taxes. Apparently the City is facing the largest emptying since 28 days later.
From: Rutherford@monkwellstrategy.com
To: Don@JohnGalt.net
Hello Don, we will be happy to help you. I like your ideas about appealing to people’s sense of justice, but I honestly don’t think this is a piece of public sympathy. Political parties are not worried about a voter reaction because very rich foreigners pay more taxes, even if the plans are absurdly simplistic. It must be sold as a threat to the economy. I will also talk to Henrik and Rohan and make a plan.
By the way, that bike behind you wasn’t a Lamborghini Impec, was it? Sweet.
Best Rutherford
Find me on Strava, KoM Sydenham Hill, PR Al Jubailah/Bawdah Loop — 42 minutes
WhatsApp to RichDon: Bastard. You stole my title of King of the Mountain. Challenge accepted.
From: Rutherford@monkwellstrategy.com
To: Rohan@Ragnar.net.uk; Henrik@Ragnar.net.uk
Hey guys, we see this as damaging to the UK’s competitiveness and the attractiveness of international money. These are globally mobile people who can live anywhere and could leave if this is taken too far, taking their money, their jobs and their investments with them. Our first task is to take advantage of the threat of people leaving Britain, taking money and jobs with them. Can you find some names of people who talk about leaving?
Best, Rutherford
Find me on Strava, PR Al Jubailah/Bawdah Loop – 42 minutes
WhatsApp to RichRohan: Damn, you don’t either. That was 25 seconds faster than me.
WhatsApp to RichHenrik: Bad luck. Stay with the Platoon.
WhatsApp to Esteban: I’ll call later, first I have to take down these ultra-competitive hedgies trying to steal my bike crown. Beating them is the only language they understand.
WhatsApp to RichDon and RichRohan: [Screenshot] When you come towards the king. . .
WhatsApp to Esteban: The WFH today. I can barely move.
From: Rutherford@Monkwellstrategy.com
To: Rich List
Honestly, we cannot mobilize public sympathy. No one feels even the slightest bit sorry for you. There’s no sob story that starts with “Don is now in his last home in Kensington.” But there is one move that worries politicians, especially Labour, if they don’t seem to understand business.
If we can’t get people to go public with their threats to leave, we need investment advisers to talk about how many of their clients are already planning their exit and relocating to Ireland, Italy or Switzerland. They will be happy to help as it is your business to get out the door.
But nothing will change before the elections. Both sides need the revenue this won’t actually generate to make their sums appear to add up. Our goal is to work under the radar to achieve further changes. We have good contacts in the Labor Party and will push for further consultation with the Treasury and a review of the potential impact. We can also commission external research to show that they won’t make as much as they think because people will leave. The first objective is to get them back to the Tory plan, which was their original idea before Jeremy Hunt stole it and stopped saying it threatened the UK’s competitiveness.
This is a slow process but, as with cycling, those that show up early often go away early. Speaking of which, maybe keep running. I know a guy from Adidas if you need some Sambas!
Best Rutherford
Find me on Strava, still KoM Sydenham Hill. . .
Messages recovered by Robert Shrimsley