How to navigate the costs that come with an abusive boss

The economic cost of poor management is significant. Gallup It is estimated that roughly $1 trillion is lost each year in the United States due to unrealistic productivity and low employee engagement. Some of these economic losses are due to fairly benign factors such as inadequate training or outdated management practices. But a non-trivial part can potentially be attributed to a particular form of toxic leadership.

It is called abusive supervision – A term used to describe leaders who regularly display hostile behavior toward their employees, including public expressions of anger, ridicule, and inappropriate judgments of blame or criticism. Research It is estimated that abusive bosses cost US employers $23.8 billion annually, which should not be surprising since victims of abuse at work often show emotional distress, burnout and other increases. Health related problems.

In addition to such physical and psychological problems, abusive bosses threaten their victim’s ability to form and sustain meaningful relationships at work. For example, research shows that victims of work abuse can to internalize abuse and blame For its occurrence itself, which leads abused employees to believe that others will interpret the abuse as evidence that they are not worthy of friendship.

Supporting this idea, recent Research Shows that employees who are victims of abuse may worry about whether they are relatively valuable (trustworthy, likable, respected) in the eyes of others and will work hard to stay in the good graces of their peers.

Related: 3 Overwhelming Reasons Why People Quit Their Jobs

Because building and maintaining positive social relationships at work is crucial to both the well-being and productivity of all employees, it’s important to understand how to navigate the potential social damage that can come with an abusive boss.

Try to understand why the abuse is happening

When you are the target of someone’s anger and hostility, especially when it comes from people in a position of authority, your first instinct may be to look inward and wonder if you bear some responsibility for the abuse.

This is not necessarily a bad practice. Such forms of honest, self-reflection are important for maintaining positive social relationships. However, sometimes abuse is unjustified. In such cases, it is important to understand why Abused.

For example, while abusive leadership may be habitual, sometimes leaders engage in such behavior impulsively due to breakdowns in self-regulation. ie, things like Poor sleep quality Or comes with a daily demand Dealing with customers It can cause leaders to lash out at their employees recklessly.

While this does not excuse their behavior, it can provide context for why the behavior occurred, whether it can be expected to happen again, and whether trying to save the relationship is possible or worthwhile. Finally, when leaders impulsively engage in abusive behavior, they are more likely to feel guilty and work to repair the relationship with the abused employee.

Related: 3 keys to leading teams during a time of divisive opinions

Be careful not to perpetuate the cycle of abuse

Sometimes it is possible and appropriate to try to salvage a relationship with an abusive boss. However, it is important to recognize that such efforts can backfire and ultimately perpetuate the cycle of abuse—especially when the leader’s abuse is habitual or an expression of underlying Toxic personality.

A recent one Study Published in Journal of Management found that abused employees who valued positive interpersonal relationships at work became concerned about their self-image and attempted to protect it through acts of kindness and courtesy. In particular, the abused employees they studied tried to show their value to their co-workers by providing support or helping them with their work tasks and tried to win their leader’s favor through flattery and flattery.

Although such behavior may reflect victims’ attempts to repair their relationship with their abusive leader, the authors caution that it may inadvertently perpetuate the cycle of abuse because it may signal to the leader that their abusive behavior leads to positive outcomes.

The study states, “While we fully acknowledge the many and varied reasons why some individuals endure abusive work relationships (job insecurity, financial stress, lack of other options, etc.), we encourage those experiencing workplace abuse to . actions to prevent abuse if possible, even if it means their workplace reputation may be damaged.”

Such actions may include discussing the matter with your leaders’ boss, filing a formal complaint with HR, requesting a transfer to another department, or, if all else fails, seeking employment elsewhere.

As the authors note, “paying more attention to the abuse they are experiencing can be a difficult step, but it may be the only way to stop the cycle of abuse.”