I had a hard time learning to swim as a kid. After about a year of trying to figure it out with my dad and lots of stress I found myself at my next door neighbors pool party with swimmys on. I was sad that I couldn't get in and swim with my friends. My dad picked me up and threw me in the pool. The moment I figured out how to swim is the same moment I realized only I could control this..I share this story alot and I specifically remember that moment as a child.
What i miss most comments mentioning is that by reacting so matter of fact at first he also created a need for the kid to think about and communicate more clearly what he would want. He almost purposely does the wrong thing so the kid can recognise the feeling and learn to communicate his needs better. So he learns problem solving, emotional regulation and how to (more effectively) communicate! Sometimes simple is best. The love and encouragement seals the deal♡
he could’ve said “fix it” right away instead of throwing it away, imagine the kid doesn’t care and grows up thinking when something goes wrong you can just throw it away
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
He didn't force his child to repair the toy but let his child decide whether he wanted a new toy or to try and salvage the old one. Most often parents try to push a child to act in a certain way thinking it's encouraging but usually, it's what they deem is the right way. Making choices is important to build a child's analytical and decision-making skills.
I prefer the approach where it is a team effort. So the kid comes to you with a broken toy and you say “I bet we could fix this! Let’s take a look.” And let them be the problem solver but remain there for encouragement. The child is coming to you because you are their primary way of learning about the world and guiding their experience, and they present the problem as a part of their experience to see if you have context they don’t have. If my Dad had responded to me the way this gentleman suggests, I would have felt brushed off and not gone to my parents with problems in the future. Thats not a healthy dynamic. You want your kids to come to you when they’re in trouble bc when it’s a big thing you might be able to help them avoid a major mistake with lifelong repercussions. Of course you still want them to solve the problem themselves, and praise them for their problem solving, but if m the child begins to believe “I’m all alone in those world” it breeds toxic self reliance and they get depressed when they encounter something they can’t solve. Or they don’t trust anyone to want to help them. It also risks the child seeing the father as stupid…too stupid to attempt to fix the problem themselves. You don’t want that.
Throwing it in the trash can would probably not be the best choice realistically, most kids would not interpret that as an obvious prompt to solve the issue. Kids who are neglected tend to learn self sufficiency because they’re forced to after being let down too many times, but that also comes with its own issues later on down the line. Kinda sounds like his kid was used to a dad who never helps, figured it out on his own, then dad took the credit for his “good parenting” lmao.
Actual good, proactive parenting would be to just ask the kid what would they would do about it—that immediately makes them realize they HAVE the ability to fix something. It gets them to think for themselves. Most young children are naturally wired to please their caregivers to survive. It’s our responsibility to direct them to be independent. We can’t expect them to meet us where we are as adults, we have to actively guide them to where they need to be.
You can help children by guiding them towards a solution not by being cruel and throwing their toys away. They will still have the same sense of accomplishment without any of the emotional turmoil, and you can still praise them for doing it. Not all children are going to take the toy out of the trash to fix. How about if we stop taking advice from old people and begin taking advice from trained, educated professionals? That child will one day become a teenager and you're going to want them to know they can come to you to troubleshoot their problems. We all know what happens when the immature mind of a teenager tries to solve their own problems.
This is how it feels when all your friends treat you like a search engine lmao
I had a hard time learning to swim as a kid. After about a year of trying to figure it out with my dad and lots of stress I found myself at my next door neighbors pool party with swimmys on. I was sad that I couldn't get in and swim with my friends. My dad picked me up and threw me in the pool. The moment I figured out how to swim is the same moment I realized only I could control this..I share this story alot and I specifically remember that moment as a child.
Or the kid starts crying and is too scared to ask to fix it
What i miss most comments mentioning is that by reacting so matter of fact at first he also created a need for the kid to think about and communicate more clearly what he would want. He almost purposely does the wrong thing so the kid can recognise the feeling and learn to communicate his needs better. So he learns problem solving, emotional regulation and how to (more effectively) communicate!
Sometimes simple is best. The love and encouragement seals the deal♡
You would be called a miserable old man by the avg human!.
A man has failed as father who has not taught his children to live without him.
-Black Panther
Beautifulness…..thanks grandpa for your knowledge
Yeah ama call bull. All this individualistic garbage. Help your kids folks dont listen to the tv.
He sounds like my wife 😂😂😂
Amen brother. I need to get better at doing that
and what the kid learned his dad takes the easy rout and he can't rely on him. yeah great lesson. there mac, smh
🙏
Yeah boomers thinking they way of teaching was good. Bless your delusion.
Love+ trust = value. Love this
These is so wise
Dads are priceless. We gotta stop letting this society shame men for being men. They are problem solvers who lead others to do the same.
Great lesson. And now tell this our teachers and schools. They make the exact same mistake.
Bro looks like he Is about to say Mt willy gose boing boing
As one old man to another… you're a genius!
Nailed it
he could’ve said “fix it” right away instead of throwing it away, imagine the kid doesn’t care and grows up thinking when something goes wrong you can just throw it away
Yo whats ihs name
Honestly, this book ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ gave me the encouragement I needed to stay strong in raising my kids with Christian values, it’s comforting to know Im not alone on this journey
He didn't force his child to repair the toy but let his child decide whether he wanted a new toy or to try and salvage the old one. Most often parents try to push a child to act in a certain way thinking it's encouraging but usually, it's what they deem is the right way. Making choices is important to build a child's analytical and decision-making skills.
I prefer the approach where it is a team effort. So the kid comes to you with a broken toy and you say “I bet we could fix this! Let’s take a look.” And let them be the problem solver but remain there for encouragement. The child is coming to you because you are their primary way of learning about the world and guiding their experience, and they present the problem as a part of their experience to see if you have context they don’t have. If my Dad had responded to me the way this gentleman suggests, I would have felt brushed off and not gone to my parents with problems in the future. Thats not a healthy dynamic. You want your kids to come to you when they’re in trouble bc when it’s a big thing you might be able to help them avoid a major mistake with lifelong repercussions. Of course you still want them to solve the problem themselves, and praise them for their problem solving, but if m the child begins to believe “I’m all alone in those world” it breeds toxic self reliance and they get depressed when they encounter something they can’t solve. Or they don’t trust anyone to want to help them. It also risks the child seeing the father as stupid…too stupid to attempt to fix the problem themselves. You don’t want that.
Throwing it in the trash can would probably not be the best choice realistically, most kids would not interpret that as an obvious prompt to solve the issue. Kids who are neglected tend to learn self sufficiency because they’re forced to after being let down too many times, but that also comes with its own issues later on down the line. Kinda sounds like his kid was used to a dad who never helps, figured it out on his own, then dad took the credit for his “good parenting” lmao.
Actual good, proactive parenting would be to just ask the kid what would they would do about it—that immediately makes them realize they HAVE the ability to fix something. It gets them to think for themselves. Most young children are naturally wired to please their caregivers to survive. It’s our responsibility to direct them to be independent. We can’t expect them to meet us where we are as adults, we have to actively guide them to where they need to be.
Do not raise them to believe in utopian communist super computer programmed by a technocratic scientific elite of drooling oedophile psychopaths.
"You produce a blob!" 😂 But too often so true…
❤
You can help children by guiding them towards a solution not by being cruel and throwing their toys away. They will still have the same sense of accomplishment without any of the emotional turmoil, and you can still praise them for doing it. Not all children are going to take the toy out of the trash to fix. How about if we stop taking advice from old people and begin taking advice from trained, educated professionals? That child will one day become a teenager and you're going to want them to know they can come to you to troubleshoot their problems. We all know what happens when the immature mind of a teenager tries to solve their own problems.
Damn this guy uses his voice very well
These days this guy would be called abusive and toxically masculine. It's a damn shame.
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