I absolutely love your channel! Although I am not a parent I do have nieces and nephews in my life that I spend a ton of time with and I find your information and advice not only helps with my interactions with them but sometimes with adults as well. We're not always on the same page sometimes and that's okay we can learn from each other as opposed to trying to teach someone else far away all the time. Keep up the great work and I also totally love the hair and makeup! I wish I had it in me to go that bold with mine. My hairdresser had to pretty much just put highlights in my hair without telling me and as far as makeup goes I have one pallet and it's various shades of tan and a couple shimmery ones LOL someday I'll be a little more adventurous I'll put that on my bucket list but anyways thank you for today's video and advice and I look forward to the next! Rock on Mom
What are your triggers? Mine are sound and touch… How do you calm down? I'm not sure I do, I just burn out. For my first 2.5 years of parenting, I NEVER raised my voice, rough-handled or anything. I rarely had to actually say no, because I'd explain why instead (Dangerous. Rude. Hurtful. Etc). And then I got a puppy only to realise I'd become cripplingly afraid of dogs (2 ate my cat…). Then had a miscarriage that my Dr's ignored. Then covid. Then when the Dr's were finally willing to listen about something being wrong post miscarriage, I found out (with a 2.5 and a 1yr old already) I was pregnant again. The kids dad was abusive (Arguably still is but nobody will help!). He moved out because he worked in a hospital. I had a baby with no support and 3 toddlers 24/7. We broke up. He attempted suicide. I cut my mother off when she said he should have attempted harder. His family hate me for leaving him. Myself and all 3 of my kids are being assessed for ASD. Most days I am drowning. It isn't like you can walk away for calm down time with 3 neurodivergent preschoolers. What often works for me though, is to have compilations of shorts like this playing all day I one earbud. And even on my worst days, I will ALWAYS apologise for anything I do wrong (Yelling, unkind words, drastic punishments, forcibly moving my children etc). Because on the days we do the damage, we have GOT to own it. Because otherwise they will, and it doubles the damage. Thei4 dad can't take the kids alone (Too rough, verbally abusive etc if he has any stress at all) so instead he does housework 4 days a week when the kids go to bed so I get a few hours alone. And on those 4 days, he comes to see them around work as an extra set of hands. If he gets too stressed he leaves whenever possible, and child services insist he gets as much time with them as possible anyway so we do what we can. I often lack the energy to do basic care for survival, let alone anything more. So those hours are usually spent on financing, meal planning, emails, or sleeping a bit more. But I try to meditate.
I was gentle once. And I swear, I'll give everything I have to to be gentle with them again… (My kids are now 5, 3.5 and 22 months old)
Gwenna.. I'm just absolutely in tears rn bc I can't even express how much ur videos have made me take a look at myself and my parenting- but, it's a GENTLE "look"… I've been so hard on myself and u have really opened me up to seeing things as they ARE, not how I assume anyone else THINKS they "are"… Ur wisdom is guiding me in parenthood… And my "kids"? They're 21 & 18! I still dk if I'd be as "advanced" in my "parenting skills" as i am now without YOU! 💚
I don't know if anyone is going to see this, or care, but I'm a teen. My mother is a responsive parent. I'm your average teen, but I come with a twist… Instead of talking back to my mother, like most teens would, (and do), I do something much worse. I'm talking something so despicable, so unbelievably horrible, that my mother had to LEAVE THE ROOM just so she could come back out and react properly. What is this thing, you ask? Well, allow me to tell you…….
I do the Macarena in her living room to her favourite songs just to annoy her.
I can do the Macarena to ANY song. I mean ANY song. I'm talking anything from "baby shark" (we all know that one, I'm sure) to "I don't want a lot for christmas" (again, we all know that one) to "let the bodies hit the floor" (by drowning pool) to "walk" (by Pantera) to "fight back" (by NEFFEX). I'm talking A N Y T H I N G
I hope this made you laugh. This is something I do daily, just for the heck of it.
On a completely unrelated note, we also flip off inanimate objects (ONLY inanimate objects. Pot of water doesn't want to boil? Flip it off. Batteries in the controller stop working? Salute it with your middle finger. Playing cards get stuck together? Give 'em the bird.) We are a strange family, but that's ok, cuz ain't nobody making history being "nOrMaL"
That's the thing, I don't calm down, I bottle that shit up and let it out somewhere else later, and I know how to do that but have no idea how I could ever teach someone else to do it short of just emotionally abusing them which is obviously not good parenting.
Are you feeling ok, momma? You sound a bit snuffly. I hope you’re not getting sick, but also (if you are) that it will be mild and the kiddos will let you get some extra rest. 🫂 🤒
I’m not looking to have a kid any time soon, and I’ve always been super against the idea of having kids, because I didn’t think I could break the cycle of abuse, but having watched your videos it’s giving me a lot more hope that, while I won’t be a perfect parent, I can be aware and informed enough, that my children will be okay
I find it so weird and uncomfortable that so many parents feel like their children owe them anything but especially owe them good behavior. You're quite literally building a child from the ground up and you think you deserve as they figure out literally the hardest part of being a human?
TBH the most useful tool in the toolbox is making sure your kid understands that you see/hear and acknowledge their problem. Whether it's being frustrated or angry or whatever. Not only does it help them identify with more nuanced words how they're feeling, it validates them. And feeling validated helps bring the negative feelings to a manageable level (or at least takes you out of the "opposition" category) for them.
yep
I absolutely love your channel! Although I am not a parent I do have nieces and nephews in my life that I spend a ton of time with and I find your information and advice not only helps with my interactions with them but sometimes with adults as well. We're not always on the same page sometimes and that's okay we can learn from each other as opposed to trying to teach someone else far away all the time. Keep up the great work and I also totally love the hair and makeup! I wish I had it in me to go that bold with mine. My hairdresser had to pretty much just put highlights in my hair without telling me and as far as makeup goes I have one pallet and it's various shades of tan and a couple shimmery ones LOL someday I'll be a little more adventurous I'll put that on my bucket list but anyways thank you for today's video and advice and I look forward to the next! Rock on Mom
My parents triggers: everything it feels like
How they calm down: they don’t 😂
What are your triggers? Mine are sound and touch… How do you calm down? I'm not sure I do, I just burn out. For my first 2.5 years of parenting, I NEVER raised my voice, rough-handled or anything. I rarely had to actually say no, because I'd explain why instead (Dangerous. Rude. Hurtful. Etc). And then I got a puppy only to realise I'd become cripplingly afraid of dogs (2 ate my cat…). Then had a miscarriage that my Dr's ignored. Then covid. Then when the Dr's were finally willing to listen about something being wrong post miscarriage, I found out (with a 2.5 and a 1yr old already) I was pregnant again. The kids dad was abusive (Arguably still is but nobody will help!). He moved out because he worked in a hospital. I had a baby with no support and 3 toddlers 24/7. We broke up. He attempted suicide. I cut my mother off when she said he should have attempted harder. His family hate me for leaving him. Myself and all 3 of my kids are being assessed for ASD. Most days I am drowning. It isn't like you can walk away for calm down time with 3 neurodivergent preschoolers.
What often works for me though, is to have compilations of shorts like this playing all day I one earbud. And even on my worst days, I will ALWAYS apologise for anything I do wrong (Yelling, unkind words, drastic punishments, forcibly moving my children etc). Because on the days we do the damage, we have GOT to own it. Because otherwise they will, and it doubles the damage. Thei4 dad can't take the kids alone (Too rough, verbally abusive etc if he has any stress at all) so instead he does housework 4 days a week when the kids go to bed so I get a few hours alone. And on those 4 days, he comes to see them around work as an extra set of hands. If he gets too stressed he leaves whenever possible, and child services insist he gets as much time with them as possible anyway so we do what we can.
I often lack the energy to do basic care for survival, let alone anything more. So those hours are usually spent on financing, meal planning, emails, or sleeping a bit more. But I try to meditate.
I was gentle once. And I swear, I'll give everything I have to to be gentle with them again… (My kids are now 5, 3.5 and 22 months old)
I've been watching you for a while now. Bravo!!! 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 😘
I don't have kids, but love your videos
when you described the mathematics classroom I kept thinking “where is the imagine part”
(I taught 7th grade math last year)
I was imagining my algebra one class and then she said you are going to be teaching algebra one 🤯
Yay bloody yay your awesome. True words you speak. 👏
Gwenna..
I'm just absolutely in tears rn bc I can't even express how much ur videos have made me take a look at myself and my parenting- but, it's a GENTLE "look"… I've been so hard on myself and u have really opened me up to seeing things as they ARE, not how I assume anyone else THINKS they "are"… Ur wisdom is guiding me in parenthood… And my "kids"? They're 21 & 18! I still dk if I'd be as "advanced" in my "parenting skills" as i am now without YOU! 💚
Now teach me math. Lol 🤣
Thank you for engaging my empathy. This will help me with children, my partner, friends as well as when I work customer service.
THIS! 100% 💕
I don't know if anyone is going to see this, or care, but I'm a teen. My mother is a responsive parent.
I'm your average teen, but I come with a twist… Instead of talking back to my mother, like most teens would, (and do), I do something much worse. I'm talking something so despicable, so unbelievably horrible, that my mother had to LEAVE THE ROOM just so she could come back out and react properly. What is this thing, you ask? Well, allow me to tell you…….
I do the Macarena in her living room to her favourite songs just to annoy her.
I can do the Macarena to ANY song. I mean ANY song. I'm talking anything from "baby shark" (we all know that one, I'm sure) to "I don't want a lot for christmas" (again, we all know that one) to "let the bodies hit the floor" (by drowning pool) to "walk" (by Pantera) to "fight back" (by NEFFEX). I'm talking A N Y T H I N G
I hope this made you laugh. This is something I do daily, just for the heck of it.
On a completely unrelated note, we also flip off inanimate objects (ONLY inanimate objects. Pot of water doesn't want to boil? Flip it off. Batteries in the controller stop working? Salute it with your middle finger. Playing cards get stuck together? Give 'em the bird.) We are a strange family, but that's ok, cuz ain't nobody making history being "nOrMaL"
Edit: grammatical errors and spelling
When do children do gentle childrening😂😂
I wish my parents understood this
That's the thing, I don't calm down, I bottle that shit up and let it out somewhere else later, and I know how to do that but have no idea how I could ever teach someone else to do it short of just emotionally abusing them which is obviously not good parenting.
🔥 eyeshadow
Are you feeling ok, momma? You sound a bit snuffly. I hope you’re not getting sick, but also (if you are) that it will be mild and the kiddos will let you get some extra rest. 🫂 🤒
Ok, what do I do with MY big feelings Gwenna. Where's that channel?
I’m not looking to have a kid any time soon, and I’ve always been super against the idea of having kids, because I didn’t think I could break the cycle of abuse, but having watched your videos it’s giving me a lot more hope that, while I won’t be a perfect parent, I can be aware and informed enough, that my children will be okay
Amen 💖🌈❤️
Most adults expect more emotional maturity from a five year old than they have themselves.
13-14 year old punk ass kids 😂😂😂 goodBYE
❤ this
Your makeup does amazing things for your eyes!
💯🙌🏻
I find it so weird and uncomfortable that so many parents feel like their children owe them anything but especially owe them good behavior. You're quite literally building a child from the ground up and you think you deserve as they figure out literally the hardest part of being a human?
TBH the most useful tool in the toolbox is making sure your kid understands that you see/hear and acknowledge their problem. Whether it's being frustrated or angry or whatever. Not only does it help them identify with more nuanced words how they're feeling, it validates them. And feeling validated helps bring the negative feelings to a manageable level (or at least takes you out of the "opposition" category) for them.
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