Hello and welcome to Working It.
I just moderated a panel discussion in my own office (what could be better?) with three of the best in the work business: Gabriella Braun, author of All we areAndrew Scott, professor of economics at London Business School and author of The imperative of longevity — and Helen Tupper, co-founder and CEO of Amazing If.
We were talking about some of the themes in my book, The career prepared for the futureand I came away feeling optimistic that things can get better as we move through our working lives. As Andrew told the audience at the FT Women in Business Forum members’ event, we evolve and change. Sometimes, though, in the rush to achieve status and promotion, we forget who we really are and what we want. And it stops us from achieving fulfilment. What suits us at work at 35 may not suit us at 45 or 70.
Read on for some tips for getting through challenging or crisis moments at work. And email me (isabel.berwick@ft.com) with your thoughts on what makes a career future-proof. (It doesn’t even have to involve AI 🙄).
How to stop overreacting at work 🤬
How often have you overreacted to something that happens at work and you don’t know why? 🙋🏼♀️. It could be crying when a manager gives any critical feedback (no matter how mild) or dreading any interaction with a senior colleague whose gruff manner makes you feel worthless. I have been surprised by the strength of my own reactions to seemingly small things (special apologies to the Financial Times colleague who had to “hold space”, as the jargon goes, when I choked on our soup at lunchtime this week).
To find out why an overreaction happens and what we can do about it, I spoke with Alice Sheldon, creator of an approach called Need Understanding. I talked to her after reading her book, Why didn’t they teach us this in school?which describes a way to build better relationships in the workplace (and in life) based on the idea that we are all on a quest to satisfy our own underlying needs. By understanding what’s going on beneath the surface, Alice suggests, we can learn to take the heat out of the moment and stop avoiding difficult work situations that provoke strong reactions. (My problem is confrontation with people superior to me. I get tongue-tied and I can’t stand not pleasing others, so I am, or was, very evasive.)
Everything we do in life, Alice says, relates to this basic human desire to have our needs met. Some of these needs are what she calls “digital footprint needs”: ingrained and personal in us. These are areas in which we failed to satisfy our needs as children, and that triggers a strong reaction (even if we don’t understand why) when we are adults. An example might be having a parent who had high expectations for you and criticized you unreservedly. You might feel like you’re not “good enough,” and these feelings would be reactivated if you had a perfectionist or critical boss.
This is an under-explored area at work, says Alice: “We’ve gotten a lot better at talking about ’empathy at work’ and ‘compassion at work’, but we’re still not very good at talking about these triggering situations at work. which are huge. Part of that is the shame that is attached to them, and part of it is that a lot of it goes under the surface and can be ‘covered up’ and not talked about.”
What can we do at work when you discover your “fingerprint needs” are triggered? You will recognize it by a flood of emotions, such as shame, judgment, anger, or even not having any control over your emotions. We don’t need to delve into what is causing the reaction. As Alice says, “you can choose how far you go on that path,” but at this point, just knowing how to react is enough. “The best thing you can do is equip yourself with whatever works for you. We think about mindfulness or breathing, or going to the bathroom and splashing some water on your face. “There are many things you can do to help reset your nervous system.”
Beyond that, we can learn to take preventative measures. In my situation, where I avoid difficult meetings, especially with superiors, Alice suggests a strategy: “Pick people you like to bring with you to the meeting, so they stay behind you in your imagination. You know that ‘these people totally value me,’ so that sense of restorative power immediately arises.”
Interestingly, it’s not teams with a lot of overt tension that tend to suffer from overreaction outbursts. “The safer you feel, the more you can let out your feelings because you know the relationship is stronger, in a way. It’s often the teams that have been together the longest that have these moments.”
Do you have a good strategy for dealing with that colleague who shouts at you? Email: isabel.berwick@ft.com
This week on the Working It podcast
I loved talking to Guests on this week’s podcast about creativity and artificial intelligence. If you think that generative AI is just the sum of all the data it has been trained on, or is just good at doing administrative tasks. . . think again. The genius is in the directions we give to AI (and “rapid engineer” will be a key job for the future). Dan Sherratt of Poppins, a digital creative agency, tells me about the practical ways it is using AI to present and create new work, while Oxford University professor Marcus du Sautoy says the future of creativity it may be in collaborations between humans and machines. Together we can be more than the sum of our parts.
Five standout stories from the world of work
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Chinese tech companies push staff to the limit: A shocking story about the work lives of employees of Chinese technology giants, from Ryan McMorrow and Nian Liu. The famous “996” work schedule (9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days a week) seems outdated. In some workplaces, staff attend meetings in the middle of the night.
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LinkedIn’s makeover is missing one thing: humor. I love LinkedIn, but even I think it could be funnier: Emma Jacobs writes eloquently about the platform that took a “vulnerable turn” during the pandemic and is now home to a lot of heartfelt but not at all funny content.
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Should employers monitor more than just remote staff’s mouse clicks? After some Wells Fargo employees were fired for simulating keyboard work, Anjli Raval addresses the new culture of surveillance and the blurred lines between work and home life for many of us.
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Mining’s push for gender diversity is clouded by the ‘Andrew Tate’ effect: A fascinating analysis by Harry Dempsey of the effect of the backlash against diversity, equity and inclusion efforts in a male-dominated sector, but one that could apply to many others.
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The Financial Times’ guide to the best books to read this summer: A complete roundup of the best books of 2024 (so far), including business book picks from Andrew Hill and fiction titles to take to the beach.
One more thing . . .
The brides was one of the top podcasts of 2023 and won the prestigious US Ambie Audio Award for “Best True Crime Podcast.” I’m not a big true crime listener, but the format here is different: It brought together a group of women who had investigated the 1985 murder of their friend (and sister of one of the group’s members), Gail Katz. The second season Follow the team as they attempt to uncover the identity of an unknown murder victim whose body was misidentified as Gail for nearly a decade. The women manage to track down her identity and restore her dignity to be remembered and named.
Bonus: Our first producer on the Working It podcast, the talented Anna Sinfield, is a series producer, writer and member of the on-air team at The friends: our lost sister.
A few words from the Working It community
Bethan Staton’s Newsletter Last Week about AI and learning skills — tl;dr: we can lose something when we let the software do all the searching and legwork — prompted some interesting responses, including this one, from a leader who wants to stay 🤫.
“While many tout customer service as the best place for AI, as a veteran of leading very large service organizations, I see it as a potential pitfall.
“If AI solves all the easy problems, how can customer service specialists develop the skills to become problem-solving experts? AI is doing well on the “happy road.” Where we need service is when we are in the ditch. Miracle workers on the service lines have typically spent years and tens of thousands of calls developing the skills, instincts and relationships necessary to solve thorny and idiosyncratic problems.”