“I needed a break from sex,” says Hope Flynn, 31. “She had been going back to the same guys over and over again, who she knew she had no future with, and she needed to get out of that negative sexual cycle.”
While some might have believed simply blocking her ex would be enough, Hope took a different tack and went cold turkey to get dirty, a move motivated by the benefits she saw for herself. Mental Wellness.
“Deciding to stop having sex has helped me gain clarity and focus on myself, who I am, and what I want. I have found a lot of strength in being alone, especially sleeping alone. Being my own comfort and finding confidence in myself has been deeply inspiring.’
Hope, who is director of content at iPlaySafe and founder of FeedMeWomanShe has been practicing celibacy for her mental health and is just one of a growing number of young women who are trading sex for self-love. In particular, Gen Z’s sexual abstinence has long been in the news, with studies confirming that this generation is less sexually active than young people 20 years ago.
Last month a big study published in the Sexual Behavior Files found that Generation Z were more likely not to have sexual partners, while a 2022 study by LoveHoney found that one in four 18- to 24-year-olds had never had sex.
Today, trending “Puriteen” on social media, along with #celibacy videos garnering 195 million views on TikTok and Google Trends reporting a recent 90% increase in those searching for “celibacy,” the fleeting “Hot Girl Summer” trend ” of the past year of embracing casual dating and sun-fueled hookups has evidently fizzled out.
So if the mindset isn’t largely due to religion or a period of dry dating, why bother? exactly Are more and more young people still giving up sex?
I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
‘Ghosting; #Me too; the orgasm gap; Antibiotic resistant STIs; revenge porn… there are many bleak but completely understandable reasons why partnered sex can seem like a depressing, dehumanizing, and even potentially dangerous prospect to many Gen Zers right now, and opting out seems like a way of personal care‘, says Alix Fox (@AlixFox), a writer and broadcaster specializing in sex.
For some, it’s also a fair statement of self-respect: while casual sex can be liberating and empowering for some, there are also those who feel similarly empowered by the sovereignty to totally deny others any access to their bodies. As they see it, they are kings and queens of their own corporeal castles, and the drawbridge is firmly up.
Fox adds that taking a finite #SexSabbatical, #CelibacyJourney, or #CelibacyEra could also mean giving yourself a period of rest, reflection, and time to heal and evolve after a painful relationship or unfortunate connection. Because despite the sex positivity movement that has characterized the past decade, a 2022 study looking at emotional outcomes after casual sex found 46% of women experience regret. These women also reported feeling ‘loneliness, unhappiness and rejection’ after dating and one-night stands.
That idea of taking time to reflect is something Hope relates to: ‘Celibacy has helped me work through my previous relationships with sex. I was also amazed at the amount of unexpected healing that came out of a past relationship. I’ve never been a tactile person, but I’ve found that this period has opened me up to being more affectionate with others without getting sexually involved.’
In fact, for some members of Generation Z, celibacy isn’t just “temporarily hitting the snooze button on partnered sex; it’s a much longer-term option for recognizing that having sex with other people just isn’t something you want.” enjoy or wish,’ says Fox.
“There is greater awareness and acceptance of the legitimacy of asexuality and aromatism, thanks to high-profile activists like Yasmin Benoit and asexual characters like Florence on popular TV shows like Netflix. Sex education. The mainstream society promotes the idea that all ‘normal’ young people are looking forward to it; Increasingly, Generation Z recognizes that the thought of sex naturally makes some people gag.’
going alone
While critics of celibacy argue that its old-fashioned premise is the antithesis of sexual freedom and fun, some experts believe that it is, in fact, anchored in the modern mindset and empowerment. Sarah Mulindwa, LoveHoney’s sex and sexual health expert, says that by using it as a deliberate and conscious choice, people can harness that sexual energy for personal growth.
“It can help women especially to distance themselves from societal pressures and expectations around sex, allowing them to explore their own desires and values more deeply,” she explains.
‘They can redirect their focus and energy towards other aspects of their lives, such as career goals or personal development, which can ultimately lead to a greater sense of self-empowerment. It can also help people gain more control over their sexual impulses and impulses, allowing them to make more intentional and informed decisions about their sexual behavior.’
There are also broader generational changes to consider. Dr. Jean Twenge, psychologist and author of Generations: The real differences between Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, Boomers and Silents, and what they mean for the future, says Gen Z, in general, is taking longer to engage in adult activities.
“They are less likely to work a paid job or have a driver’s license and that continues into young adulthood as more people are not having sex or becoming adults.” relations. This is part of a bigger story: because life expectancy is longer, the entire development trajectory has slowed down.’
He adds that, in addition to the impact of technology, and the fact that there are more things to do at 10 p.m. It teaches that you don’t need other people to make you happy. ‘In general, long-term trends are [moving] away from sex, marriage and have children. Most young adults still want these things, but there is a growing minority who don’t.’
Of course, the ‘Cost of Loving Crisis’ will have an impact: a survey conducted by the dating app Plenty of Fish found that more than half (52%) of singles surveyed said skyrocketing prices and financial concerns affect how they now plan their dates, and 73% admitted avoiding or canceling an arrangement with a potential love interest due to the worry of not being able to pay him.
“With many young people on low wages and staggering educational debt, saving for heat is more important than romantic get-togethers, and paying the bills is more important than seeking thrills,” Alix explains. ‘It’s not just about keeping up with funds, either: stressing about cash, working grueling hours to try to make ends meet, and feel anxiousdefeated and frightened by the state of the world can be a killer combination when it comes to killing the libido.’
Whether it’s due to a difficult social and financial climate, a reaction to our messy dating culture, or simply pointing two fingers at the sexual roles women have been thrust into in the past, what is It is clear that not only are more young people choosing to enter, or continue, their era of celibacy, but they are also using their voice to celebrate he.
And far from being a restrictive life choice, social platforms like TikTok are full of young women sharing how celibacy has changed their lives; how they have handled it as a tool for self-discovery and growth. It seems that by taking a sexual break to pause and reflect, Gen Z is finding inner clarity, and just like Hope, it’s also making them happier.
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