Summary:
In this edition of “The Ethicist” column, two separate readers write in with ethical dilemmas. The first reader, an adjunct literature and writing instructor at a university, expresses frustration with editing her husband’s scientific papers and grant proposals without fair compensation. She questions whether her contribution to scholarship should be compensated or if she should continue to help her husband unpaid. The Ethicist provides several perspectives, including considering involvement in efforts to change the university’s compensation policies, and ultimately suggests the choice is up to the reader. The second reader, who helped search for a missing ex-boyfriend at the request of his family, receives a thank-you note and a check from the ex-boyfriend’s aunt. She questions whether it is ethical to accept the money given her feelings towards the situation and the aunt’s financial position. The Ethicist suggests accepting the money in the spirit of gratitude with which it was given.
Engaging Piece:
The two ethical dilemmas presented in this edition of “The Ethicist” column highlight the complexity of ethical decision-making and the nuances of personal relationships. In the case of the first reader, the question of compensation for specialized contributions to scholarship raises larger questions of power dynamics and equity in academia. Despite the reader’s personal relationship with her husband, her frustration with the university’s compensation policies points towards systemic issues that need to be addressed. While the Ethicist provides some guidance, the ultimate decision rests with the reader, who must weigh her personal values and professional obligations.
In the second case, the reader’s relationship with her ex-boyfriend, his family, and society’s perceptions of thank-you gifts make for a thorny ethical question. While the aunt’s gesture is clearly meant to express gratitude, the reader’s reluctance to accept the money suggests a deeper discomfort with the situation. This dilemma highlights the often-complicated interplay between personal relationships and ethical decision-making, and the importance of considering our own values and motivations.
At the heart of both of these ethical dilemmas is the difficulty of navigating complex situations with multiple stakeholders and competing interests. These dilemmas remind us that ethical decision-making is rarely straightforward, and requires careful consideration of both the personal and societal implications of our actions.
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My husband and I work at the same university; he is a hard science teacher and i am an adjunct instructor teaching literature and writing. I frequently edit the scientific papers and grant proposals that he and the postdocs who work with him write. I used to be happy to help you in this way, but lately I have begun to feel that this favor is just another way for the university to benefit from my work, and the work of many humanities adjuncts, without fair compensation.
The discrepancy between the salaries my husband and I receive makes it abundantly clear that the university reveres the sciences (a male-dominated field) and neglects the humanities (a female-dominated field, particularly at the adjunct level). When my husband publishes an article or receives a scholarship, the university gets money and recognition, and yet I am not rewarded for my role in this achievement. My editing is not a trivial job; An article or proposal can take hours, time that I could otherwise spend teaching or trying to advance my own research. Why shouldn’t I be compensated for my specialized contribution to your scholarship? For me, this is not an intellectual question; It has started to make my blood boil.
On the other hand, as a researcher at a public university, my husband has limited access to funds that he could use to pay another publisher, and as a faculty member prior to his tenure, he himself is in a somewhat vulnerable position. Should I help him as a loving partner, or just do editing work for paying clients? — Name withheld
From the ethical:
I’m not sure marriage is the right setting to fight the many genuine inequities in the reward system you’ll find in college and in our society at large. Even putting love and devotion aside, you have an interest in your husband getting ownership. You ask why he shouldn’t be compensated for her contribution. The problem is that in an institution like a university it is inappropriate for someone to supervise the paid work that the spouse does, and no one else is in a position to do so. Still, as you note, your husband could pay someone else to do the job, and as her boiling blood suggests, mixing personal and professional relationships can cause complications.
If you were happy to help your husband in this way, if you saw it as the act of a loving couple with complementary skills, you would say that doing so raises no ethical concerns. But she is under no obligation to edit her husband’s documents, and she has come to experience it not as part of a mutually supportive relationship, but as part of a broader pattern of exploitation. So you should feel free to post bail. It’s not really a gift if she makes you clench your teeth.
While you are thinking about these issues, perhaps you could get involved in efforts on campus to do something about salary and other conditions. Your college adjuncts may or may not be unionized (I don’t know what the situation is on your campus), but unions aren’t the only way to try to change things for the better.
one additional question
Early in the pandemic, my ex-boyfriend had a serious mental breakdown. He was hospitalized in the summer of 2020, but escaped from the hospital and has been missing ever since. I loved him very much, but I broke up with him a week before his hospitalization because his manic behavior scared me. We had been dating for five months. After he went missing, I really threw myself into doing everything I could to help find him: making posters, sharing leads with detectives, Facebooking people who thought they saw him, etc. It was exhausting, but I was in it all, motivated by love and concern.
He had never met his family before, but he came to talk a lot with his aunt, who was like a second mother to him. He recently sent me a thank you note and a check for a couple hundred dollars. The truth is that I just finished my studies and I could really use the money. But I don’t want to charge it. I helped as an expression of my love for my ex-boyfriend. I don’t want his family to feel like they owe me, and I also know they’re not rich. That I have to do? — Name withheld
From the ethical:
If the family had offered him a few hundred dollars to help them up front, he might have had reason to be upset. You were acting without thinking of any reward. But it seems clear that her aunt has offered you this money simply as a way of expressing her gratitude, not because she believes that this is what your services were worth. I urge you to accept it in the spirit in which it was given to you.
readers respond
The question in the last newsletter was from a reader asking if it was ethical to have children in a warming world. She wrote: “My fiancé and I, both Gen Z, care deeply about the planet. … Is it selfish to have children knowing full well that they will have to deal with a lower quality of life due to the climate crisis and its many cascading effects?”
In his response, the ethicist noted that the letter writer’s children would only make a small, marginal contribution to climate change and, likewise, are unlikely to solve the problem for humanity. He wrote: “Probably the key question to ask yourself is whether you can give your offspring a good prospect of a decent life. … It sounds like you already made up your mind that your kids would be okay.” (Reread the full question and answer here.)
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An argument I’ve heard because having children on a warming planet is my choice to bring them into the world is my greatest act of optimism and a commitment to a long-term future for human prosperity. I can’t ethically think “it’s not my problem” when I know my children must face the consequences of my personal, political, financial and professional actions. – Spot
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I decided 50 years ago that it was irresponsible to have children. I am much more concerned with the negative effects that the human population has had on other species than with the quality of future human life due to our own behavior. The best thing that could happen to the planet is billions fewer humans. —Dennis
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Has the letter writer considered adoption? This couple sounds like they make great parents and would be depriving themselves of a great source of joy by giving up the kids. If the ethics of bringing new life into the world are too much of a concern, I would remind the letter writer that many of us, as adoptees already in the world, were grateful to have been raised by parents who chose adoption. – Suzanne
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The position that the future, unborn child would be a victim or a cause of global warming is flawed. This is not an either/or dilemma. Every human born on our overcrowded planet will be both a victim and a contributor to global warming and the unfolding human catastrophe. I would say that not having children is the most sensible and humane decision at this time. —Laurie
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As a descendant of African slaves, I subscribe to the idea that the world will always be in crisis, there will always be moments of hopelessness, and the future will always be darkened by our current unfortunate reality. However, they had children. I live a much better life than them. I have an identity that they have lost. Now I also have my own trials and tribulations, that’s part of being Human. If you want children, have them. —Mischael
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