My dad's parents both came from long lines of abusive and alcoholics so they stopped that cycle and raised my dad and his siblings wonderfully which in turn made it to where my parents are able to raise me and my siblings so much better than we even know. My parents are some of my best friends and I tell them everything. Being there for your kids and being kind and gentle do so much more than being strict and harsh. Strict mean parents just raise good liars
I remember having the worst night terrors, my home life was very violent, one night I woke up from the worst night terror and ran to my moms room crying. She wasn’t upset because I was. She was upset because I woke her up.
Something in my mind clicked. I knew from that 6 year old me and on that I had to do everything I possibly could to break the abusive chain my parents were corralled into.
I wish my childhood was better for me and my siblings, maybe they would’ve been kinder, more confident in their self expression. but it’s too late for that, I tell them it’s our responsibility to pick up the broken glass and to fix it as best we can for our kids. We need to see ourselves in them every time they do something that upsets us.
The problem is there are ton of adults that wished they had it as good as you. "Good" is relative. As a foster parent I know some kids have it way better then others but even when it's not great, someone has it worse. All that to say, do thankful of everything because some truly don't have it a good.
I teared up at "you're the best mom." 🥺 That's the best compliment ever and I feel like it's less common than people would expect. I'm still learning how to parent with my toddler and I love getting tips from you and mommacusses. ❤
I feel like a lot of parents tell their kids that they don't know how good they had it, sadly. From my experience, I think it was a cope. They don't want to admit they've been a bad parent, and because they aren't as bad as their parents, they think that's a good place to set the bar, even if they're still hurting their kids. I'm still terrified to seek mental health help and getting the things I'm concerned about diagnosed because of them. Being told that there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm just looking for excuses is something I still have to deal with in my head.
You know, I don’t think anyone has a perfect childhood, I’m sure we all have things we wish we could change, but looking back on my childhood I think I had a decent one, there were times where we had to have financial help, but I didn’t know it at the time until I was much older and able to process it better. I know now that it could have been so much worse. Sure there are a few things I wish I could change, but I think I turned out about as good as I could have. But now as an adult, I gotta support myself and help myself, yes I still live with my parents and I’ll forever be thankful, but I do have to start growing up, even if it’s taken me a little longer
My mom didn't have great role models to help her raise me and my brother, but without knowing it, she basically gentle-parented us. I'm 28 now and I still go and find my mom and hug her when I'm scared. She's my safe person. It's the small moments that make a huge impact, so I'd dare say that moments like that are very significant. <3
They'll probably realize how good they have it once they start going to college like I did. If it hits them anything like it hit me, they'll start sending you texts thanking you for being so amazing like I do with my mom.
This made me cry. The closest I've ever had to comfort with my mother was when she was having a bad day or a break up and she would be so angry and sad and crying I would bring her a washcloth everytime and give her a hug and let her cry. And we would make garlic bread and watch twilight. I know now I was the one being a rock for her when I needed her to be mine. But it was still nice to know she knew someone loved her even if she didn't always love me
That phrase is kinda awful to tell to your children though. I remember hearing it. Yeah it was good, I had food and shelter and clothing but the way they treated me was horrible and they acted like bc they bought me shit I "had it good"
I have 4 boys, ranging from ages of 11-18 and I have made a lot of mistakes before I really know the best way to parent. I do remember hearing how "good" I had it, and I was scared of the dark, but was more scared of worse things. I'm now 36 with preteen and teenage boys, and have decided to do more responsive parenting, then more into gentle parenting. I've tried so many things before that, helicopter mom, we even went to church two years straight and they say " spare the rod spoil the child" so I thought it's normal to discipline in that way, and yeah they learned lessons but not the way that felt right. And tbh "CHURCH" was the most judgemental place to be with your family. We are a blended family meaning , my husband had a son and I had 3 , then we got married and not that it matters but two of my kids are mixed. And the looks and gasps and judgement that fell on my shoulders. I was lost for a while trying to figure out what was right and what was wrong, it's been a few years now that I've geared towards the path I'm on. I didn't even really know what kind of parenting I was doing or if I was doing it right. My mother (southern Baptist) grew up on different time and is still trying to push her beliefs and parenting on me, and when I try to explain what I'm doing, I get met with backlash. Long story short yours and gwenna s videos, are reassuring me I'm doing right and y'all are kind like long distance role models. You definitely make since to me, and wish I had this type of parent growing up. Keep up the good work, and know your kids are going to be amazing people, just as I know mine will be.
Yes yes yes my mother has always said this and she's a narcissistic Karen with a God/victim complex. She hasn't been a good mom ever but really when I was really little she at least had a few moments of goodness but I don't remember much. She's mad that she's cut off from me and my son 😅 I will not let her poison my child like she did me nor will I ever continue to let her poison me. 💯 I can't wait to watch my little man grow up this way! He has so much he doesn't even realize and I adore that so much 💓
Every time my son brings up a serious topic to talk about or asks me for advice…..it seems like such a small thing but him being comfortable talking to me means so much to me 😊
I'm glad you feel that way 🙂 I heard the same saying and even though I strived to make it better, My parents would always counter me with saying that and then proceeding to trauma dump on me for the next 5 minutes. And it's true, I did have it better than they did, but just because it's better doesn't mean it's the best and it doesn't mean there is no room for improvement. I want to have your mentality so I'll make it happen. I love your videos and appreciate your advice 🙂
A lot of people think that if you're not being abused, then you have it good in life, parshely because they were abused in life they think that if they don't abuse you that you have it much better than they did which is true but not good
While that's true I think once they hit a certain age its important to make sure they know not every parent is incredible and they should be careful when they talk to people
But in my opinion, forcing a child into existence still puts you forever in their debt. They didn't choose you as their parent, nor did they choose their nationality or the systems they were forced into. But you chose those things for them.
I'm tearing up at this – such a sweet, kind, and compassionate thought! Thank you for being so authentically you and sharing your parenting journey like this. You are a wonderful human!
Honestly if your parents are telling you that "you don't know how good you have it" just to compare your life to that of a kid in a 3rd world country, then maybe it's not good, maybe it's just mediocre, and that's ok, but making your kids feel guilty because they expressed a need that you weren't filling isn't
Trust me, one day they'll know, and they'll appreciate you all the more. They'll meet friends who are quiet and traumatized, they'll meet the parents of people they're dating and see how those parents treat the people they love, and they'll realize that most parents are not warm and empathetic and good at communication, and they'll be grateful for everything you've done to make their lives amazing. I know because my parents have always tried to be good to me and to communicate with me, and now out of all my friends my age (I'm 24), I only know one other person who has a good relationship with their parents.
If you wake me in the middle of the night I am a complete b!tch and I was so scared I would yell at my girls and not even know (I'm actually still sleeping and have zero memory of these events) but so far I actually wake up and can soothe them and get them back to sleep. They are never afraid to come get me in the night ❤
When awful parents say "you don't know how good you have it" what they really mean, is that their parents were worse OR that they think the worst is being homeless and starving but just because these things were terrible or perhaps "worse" than your current situation (and comparing human suffering is a bad idea all around) does not mean your current situation is by any means GOOD either. I just wish more people understood that.
Thank you so much for the content you create. There is definitely no such thing as perfect parenting but you’re getting close. Raising emotionally aware and intelligent children in an accepting and nurturing environment is so beautiful. That’s how we teach our kiddos resilience and how to form healthy relationships in life. Your love for your kids shines!! This world needs beautiful souls like you!
My dad's parents both came from long lines of abusive and alcoholics so they stopped that cycle and raised my dad and his siblings wonderfully which in turn made it to where my parents are able to raise me and my siblings so much better than we even know. My parents are some of my best friends and I tell them everything. Being there for your kids and being kind and gentle do so much more than being strict and harsh. Strict mean parents just raise good liars
That is so incredibly precious. Thank you.💜💜💜
I remember having the worst night terrors, my home life was very violent, one night I woke up from the worst night terror and ran to my moms room crying. She wasn’t upset because I was. She was upset because I woke her up.
Something in my mind clicked. I knew from that 6 year old me and on that I had to do everything I possibly could to break the abusive chain my parents were corralled into.
I wish my childhood was better for me and my siblings, maybe they would’ve been kinder, more confident in their self expression. but it’s too late for that, I tell them it’s our responsibility to pick up the broken glass and to fix it as best we can for our kids. We need to see ourselves in them every time they do something that upsets us.
The problem is there are ton of adults that wished they had it as good as you. "Good" is relative. As a foster parent I know some kids have it way better then others but even when it's not great, someone has it worse. All that to say, do thankful of everything because some truly don't have it a good.
I teared up at "you're the best mom." 🥺 That's the best compliment ever and I feel like it's less common than people would expect. I'm still learning how to parent with my toddler and I love getting tips from you and mommacusses. ❤
I feel like a lot of parents tell their kids that they don't know how good they had it, sadly. From my experience, I think it was a cope. They don't want to admit they've been a bad parent, and because they aren't as bad as their parents, they think that's a good place to set the bar, even if they're still hurting their kids. I'm still terrified to seek mental health help and getting the things I'm concerned about diagnosed because of them. Being told that there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm just looking for excuses is something I still have to deal with in my head.
It makes me so happy parents like you and Gwenna exist. Thanks for doing the thing <3
Whats up punk? 😀
You know, I don’t think anyone has a perfect childhood, I’m sure we all have things we wish we could change, but looking back on my childhood I think I had a decent one, there were times where we had to have financial help, but I didn’t know it at the time until I was much older and able to process it better. I know now that it could have been so much worse. Sure there are a few things I wish I could change, but I think I turned out about as good as I could have. But now as an adult, I gotta support myself and help myself, yes I still live with my parents and I’ll forever be thankful, but I do have to start growing up, even if it’s taken me a little longer
My mom didn't have great role models to help her raise me and my brother, but without knowing it, she basically gentle-parented us. I'm 28 now and I still go and find my mom and hug her when I'm scared. She's my safe person. It's the small moments that make a huge impact, so I'd dare say that moments like that are very significant. <3
I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m so glad you and your kids are happier now! ❤
I wish you were my mother my mom does nothing like that
They'll probably realize how good they have it once they start going to college like I did. If it hits them anything like it hit me, they'll start sending you texts thanking you for being so amazing like I do with my mom.
This made me cry. The closest I've ever had to comfort with my mother was when she was having a bad day or a break up and she would be so angry and sad and crying I would bring her a washcloth everytime and give her a hug and let her cry. And we would make garlic bread and watch twilight. I know now I was the one being a rock for her when I needed her to be mine. But it was still nice to know she knew someone loved her even if she didn't always love me
That phrase is kinda awful to tell to your children though. I remember hearing it. Yeah it was good, I had food and shelter and clothing but the way they treated me was horrible and they acted like bc they bought me shit I "had it good"
Yeah I hear that I get it good from my family all the time
Do you let your kids cous ..
Same fr-
you are such a good parent.
I'm so happy for her! you're doing great and I love your content.🥰
I have 4 boys, ranging from ages of 11-18 and I have made a lot of mistakes before I really know the best way to parent. I do remember hearing how "good" I had it, and I was scared of the dark, but was more scared of worse things. I'm now 36 with preteen and teenage boys, and have decided to do more responsive parenting, then more into gentle parenting. I've tried so many things before that, helicopter mom, we even went to church two years straight and they say " spare the rod spoil the child" so I thought it's normal to discipline in that way, and yeah they learned lessons but not the way that felt right. And tbh "CHURCH" was the most judgemental place to be with your family. We are a blended family meaning , my husband had a son and I had 3 , then we got married and not that it matters but two of my kids are mixed. And the looks and gasps and judgement that fell on my shoulders. I was lost for a while trying to figure out what was right and what was wrong, it's been a few years now that I've geared towards the path I'm on. I didn't even really know what kind of parenting I was doing or if I was doing it right. My mother (southern Baptist) grew up on different time and is still trying to push her beliefs and parenting on me, and when I try to explain what I'm doing, I get met with backlash. Long story short yours and gwenna s videos, are reassuring me I'm doing right and y'all are kind like long distance role models. You definitely make since to me, and wish I had this type of parent growing up. Keep up the good work, and know your kids are going to be amazing people, just as I know mine will be.
I don’t know if it’s just because I’m emotional right now, but this made me cry happy tears because it was so sweet 🥺
Yes yes yes my mother has always said this and she's a narcissistic Karen with a God/victim complex. She hasn't been a good mom ever but really when I was really little she at least had a few moments of goodness but I don't remember much. She's mad that she's cut off from me and my son 😅 I will not let her poison my child like she did me nor will I ever continue to let her poison me. 💯 I can't wait to watch my little man grow up this way! He has so much he doesn't even realize and I adore that so much 💓
i love it so much
Every time my son brings up a serious topic to talk about or asks me for advice…..it seems like such a small thing but him being comfortable talking to me means so much to me 😊
I'm glad you feel that way 🙂
I heard the same saying and even though I strived to make it better, My parents would always counter me with saying that and then proceeding to trauma dump on me for the next 5 minutes. And it's true, I did have it better than they did, but just because it's better doesn't mean it's the best and it doesn't mean there is no room for improvement. I want to have your mentality so I'll make it happen. I love your videos and appreciate your advice 🙂
It makes me happy to hear there's a few less kids knowing the trauma some of us did
Those small moments are the big moments. I always remember the little things with my mom.
im so glad your kids feel safe around you and comforted. for me personally i do miss the days when i was younger and wasn’t scared of my parents
A lot of people think that if you're not being abused, then you have it good in life, parshely because they were abused in life they think that if they don't abuse you that you have it much better than they did which is true but not good
This really touched my heart and my eyes overflow. Such a beautiful sentiment and phenomenal Mom 💖
You are the best mom
While that's true I think once they hit a certain age its important to make sure they know not every parent is incredible and they should be careful when they talk to people
I was frequently told I couldn't possibly have any stress, that being an adult is so much worse.
I was being abused and went through many traumas, so repeatedly hearing this left me wanting to not live anymore when I was just a kid still.
I wish you would write a book ❤
But in my opinion, forcing a child into existence still puts you forever in their debt. They didn't choose you as their parent, nor did they choose their nationality or the systems they were forced into. But you chose those things for them.
What happened to her when she was little 😢
Man this made me cry.
I'm tearing up at this – such a sweet, kind, and compassionate thought! Thank you for being so authentically you and sharing your parenting journey like this. You are a wonderful human!
Honestly if your parents are telling you that "you don't know how good you have it" just to compare your life to that of a kid in a 3rd world country, then maybe it's not good, maybe it's just mediocre, and that's ok, but making your kids feel guilty because they expressed a need that you weren't filling isn't
I heard it, never miss it!
Trust me, one day they'll know, and they'll appreciate you all the more. They'll meet friends who are quiet and traumatized, they'll meet the parents of people they're dating and see how those parents treat the people they love, and they'll realize that most parents are not warm and empathetic and good at communication, and they'll be grateful for everything you've done to make their lives amazing. I know because my parents have always tried to be good to me and to communicate with me, and now out of all my friends my age (I'm 24), I only know one other person who has a good relationship with their parents.
If you wake me in the middle of the night I am a complete b!tch and I was so scared I would yell at my girls and not even know (I'm actually still sleeping and have zero memory of these events) but so far I actually wake up and can soothe them and get them back to sleep. They are never afraid to come get me in the night ❤
When awful parents say "you don't know how good you have it" what they really mean, is that their parents were worse OR that they think the worst is being homeless and starving but just because these things were terrible or perhaps "worse" than your current situation (and comparing human suffering is a bad idea all around) does not mean your current situation is by any means GOOD either. I just wish more people understood that.
Thank you so much for the content you create. There is definitely no such thing as perfect parenting but you’re getting close. Raising emotionally aware and intelligent children in an accepting and nurturing environment is so beautiful. That’s how we teach our kiddos resilience and how to form healthy relationships in life. Your love for your kids shines!! This world needs beautiful souls like you!
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