Enno writes: I have a dispute with my daughter, Emily. She refuses to use proper punctuation in text messages. She says that everyone understands her, and people who end a text with a period are psychotic. I think punctuation is essential in conveying tone. If nothing else, it will help me understand what “I’m fine” actually means!
The answer is: She’s fine.*
*Translation for dads: Congratulations. Your daughter has become fluent in a new language. Just as spoken English evolves, even the most perfectly punctuated prose does not guarantee clarity across generations. Try reading “Middlemarch.” Presuming Emily knows the “rules” and deploys them when appropriate, her ability to switch contexts and “break” them creatively is no crime. And as I learned from my own daughter, ending a text with a period these days really does make you look unhinged with anger. Ur not tho I know it. (PS: I mean it: Try to read “Middlemarch.” It’s great.)
John Hodgman is the host of the “Judge John Hodgman” podcast.