Stephanie writes: Sometimes my husband wakes up angry at me for something I did in his dream. He feels he’s justified because whatever happened in his dream is something I “would have done.” I say this is not fair.
I hate to say it, but you do seem like a person who would do something mean to your husband in his dreams . . . while riding a sandworm from “Dune.” Except suddenly it’s not “Dune” anymore. It’s me, watching “The Red Balloon” in my high school French class. Weird, because there’s virtually no dialogue in that movie. Except when the balloon tells me my mouth is full of crickets. Wait. That’s not real. That’s just the dream I had last night. (Probably). I’m sorry. I forgot that dreams are just stories my brain writes for itself. And they’re dumb — junk narratives made of half-memory and fear that mean nothing and are definitely not your fault. I’ll have to remind your husband when I see him tonight in the form of Gene Hackman, except with a third eye on his forehead, and cheese for teeth.
John Hodgman is the host of the “Judge John Hodgman” podcast.