Jen writes: My husband, Rob, loves to vacuum floors and does so several times each week. Afterward, he brings the machine to the center of the home to announce what he has captured. It is disgusting. By the time he lists hair, nail clippings and dried dog snot, I have fled the room. Please order him to stop.
Be grateful. Not every spouse’s weird hobby actually gets the house clean rather than filling up its corners, say, with home-brewing kits, exotic birds or old plastic bags full of yarn. But that doesn’t give Rob the right to nauseate you. It’s fine for him to unpack his dirt tube and examine his discoveries. But he should keep that part of his pastime where it belongs: on YouTube, where I am confident he will find a legion of fans, eager to witness his gross unboxings. Call the channel “Rob Sucks.” You’re welcome for all the money.
John Hodgman is the host of the Judge John Hodgman podcast.