Caroline writes: My husband insists that Lake Michigan and Lake Huron are the same lake and that it should be called “Lake Huron.” I find this offensive. I love Lake Michigan. I grew up nearby and spent many glorious summer days at the beach. Please order him to drop this and admit that Lake Michigan exists.
As I’m sure your husband has explained often and boringly, Lake Huron and Lake Michigan are indeed one big lake (hydrologically speaking) as they share their waters back and forth through the Straits of Mackinac. This is a nice shiny penny’s worth of fact that he can enjoy turning over in his mind and/or show off at dinner parties in order to repel conversation. But he should stop saying it to you. Hydrology is no reason to erase the long and distinct history of the peoples of Lake Michigan (you included!). In every useful context, it’s a real lake, and he should go jump in it.
John Hodgman is the host of the Judge John Hodgman podcast.