Joshua writes: Allie and I went on our first date three years ago. At dinner we were nervous, but the conversation flowed easily. Afterward, I suggested we walk down to the ocean. We explored tide pools as the sun set. Before parting, I told Allie to wait while I went back inside the restaurant to use the restroom. To this day, Allie thinks this was insane. I say I earned the right as a customer. Who’s right?
It’s fine if you ask nicely, but why? You had a lovely evening that was coming to an end. Why choose this moment to say: “Hey, one last special thing for our first date. Why don’t you awkwardly wait on the street thinking about me pooping or peeing before we kiss good night?” Still, she waited. She did her math and said: “Weird choice, but I like him. Maybe I even like him more because he’s not afraid to show me who he is: a person who loves both tide pools and toilet hacks.” (And Allie too, of course. Happy anniversary.)
John Hodgman is the host of the “Judge John Hodgman” podcast.