Judge John Hodgman on the stuffed coat rack

Austin writes: I believe that a coat rack should remain largely empty, so that it can be used by visitors who wish to hang an item. But my partner, Marla, fills the rack with her things. Please instruct him to let us get a second coat rack just for the guests (and myself) to use.

I agree with you. We have a closet full of many generations of jackets, most of them abandoned, many by someone who no longer lives here. But the fact is, if you get a new coat rack, that one will fill up too. I’m not even blaming Marla. It’s just dark house magic: Stuff expands to fill the storage. No matter how many hangers you add to the closet, old coats will rise out of the abyss to claim them. It is difficult to expel these ghosts: these past lives, attempts at styles and memories of children who are now adults. But a new coat rack is the only solution, which is why I’m sending you a box of coats. Thank you!