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Judge John Hodgman on Uncle Impermanence

Josh writes: My wife, Karla, claims that the title of aunt or uncle can be revoked. I think that once the niece or nephew is born, the title stays — regardless of divorce, remarriage or death. There are two exceptions: If the title is honorary, or if there is separation before children. But once there are children, an aunt or uncle cannot be removed from the family tree. Who’s right?

There is obviously a back story here far more interesting than your question. If you let me know who is trying to de-uncle you and why, I will publish your side of the story. But meanwhile, I rule in your favor. While an avuncular relationship (or the aunt’s equivalent, a materteral one) may wither or be cast aside, as descriptive genealogy, “uncles” and “aunts” endure. P.S. The adjective for your relationship to your (now ex?) nephew is “nepotal.” I don’t know what to call it if it’s your niece who no longer likes you, but you could conceivably call yourself her anti-uncle. Or just seek to repair your relationship.


John Hodgman is the host of the “Judge John Hodgman” podcast.