David writes: My friend Richard and I disagree about something. He says it’s grosser to use someone else’s deodorant than someone else’s toothbrush. I completely disagree. Richard even posted a poll online a few years back. My side won, but not by enough! Which is grosser?
I am not a doctor, just a fake judge. But I feel confident that you’re not going to contract any of your roommate’s spit diseases from their deodorant unless you’re rubbing it on your tongue. (And as a fake doctor, I order you: Do not do this.) But you know the famous saying: “Grossness is in the armpit of the beholder.” If swapping Speed Sticks makes Richard queasier than swapping saliva, that’s his weird prerogative. Just as it’s my right to determine that Richard is disgusting. So long as you keep your toothbrush locked up around him, I will allow you to remain friends. But I don’t want to know what he does with your floss.