Men want money, women want balance.

Hello and welcome to Working It.

I had Covid last week and the forced isolation and rest made me realize two things: One, I really need to slow down 🐌. Cal Newport, our guest on last week’s podcastHe was right when he talked about “slow productivity” being the way to go.

And the second: sometimes it is good to look back to make sense of the present. Covid gave me time to read diaries from my university years and my first years of working life. Seeing that from afar was… . . strange. It turns out that memory erases almost everything, even the good things, but there was also a surprising amount of selfish discouragement (what my kids describe as “wet wipe” behavior 🥺). I just wish I had been bolder and less judgmental and insecure.

I wrote on LinkedIn about the strange experience of revisiting my youth and asking for advice that others would give their 22-year-old selves. This caused many moving and insightful comments. Tell me your opinion in isabel.berwick@ft.com – and we will return to this soon.

Read on to find out why overwork is a feminist issue, and at Office Therapy I advise someone who doesn’t work enough and is bored.

Workplace tl;dr: men want money and women want balance 👀

When I talk to people about interesting workplace topics for this newsletter, the conversation often takes fascinating and unexpected turns. That’s what happened when I spoke to Edward Haigh, chief strategy officer at Encompass Equality, a consultancy that specializes in promoting gender equality in the workplace.

I was talking to Edward about his organization’s research into the different factors that influence men and women’s decisions to stay in their jobs or leave. The overall results are interesting, but they did not surprise me: two of the main conclusions are that women’s work experience is less positive than men’s, and that flexibility (both time and workplace) is much more important for women. The report is brief and useful.

To be clear, it’s not that men don’t want flexibility and an understanding manager, it’s just that women want these things. further.

The findings that did surprise me were related to men’s and women’s attitudes toward salary 💰. When asked to rank 15 factors known to have an impact on retention, first on the list for men, and only sixth for women, is “salary and benefits.” Edward said: “For men, work is a lot more transactional – it’s a lot less dynamic and a lot more asking, ‘Are these guys paying me enough?’”

I wondered if traditional notions of masculinity influenced the importance the men in the survey placed on purely monetary factors at work. To a certain extent, Edward said. “Maybe it’s also due to the fact that men haven’t had to balance the things that women have for so long. The measure of success for men has simply been ‘Am I making progress?’”

While men* can measure success in monetary terms, things for women are much more complex. Edward said: “What I hear over and over again from women when I interview them is that the work is fantastic: ‘I love it, it’s really good to have all this happening and I’ve got the balance right.’ It’s about having a work and professional life in a reasonable balance ⚖️. “That seems to be the measure of success.”

The other surprising thing, and one that Edward describes as “under-discussed”, is the prevalence of overwork as one of the reasons why women, especially, are unhappy at work and may quit. It plays on the work-life balance aspect of women: too much work means everything becomes unmanageable. “Women themselves don’t put this conversation on the table easily because they’re afraid to say ‘I have a problem with the amount of work I’m doing 😰.’ It’s equivalent to saying “I’m not that loyal or that committed.” That link with presenteeism is still there.”

I’m sure that overwork is a key reason why women leave their jobs (and maybe they don’t even mention it in their exit interviews, for the “taboo” reasons mentioned above?). Edward pointed out that many organizations don’t talk about the word “or.” Not unrelatedly, Encompass Equality data suggests that 10 percent of hours worked are unpaid.

Overwork, I would say, is a feminist issue.

Do you think overwork is the big unspoken problem in many workplaces? Have you fixed it? And anything else you should know about retention, for men and women: isabel.berwick@ft.com

*Not all men, etc.

This week on the Working It podcast

I hate comments. There are three stages to the human response to feedback, as my former colleague Esther Bintliff put it in a brilliant article. The first is “’Fuck you.’ The second is “I suck.” And the third is ‘Let’s do it better.'” I’m stuck at number two 🤷‍♀️.

So when we decided to talk about all things feedback on this week’s Working It podcast, I was ready to shout at the guests. But I came away feeling optimistic after chatting with feedback experts Kim Scott (yes, THE Kim Scott of radical sincerity – and now radical respect – fame) and Joe Hirsch, who helps organizations design better feedback. The key? Make it constructive, have some tough conversations (eeek), and focus on the future, not the past. I hope it’s a really useful episode. Let me know what you think.

office therapy

The problem: I have been in professional services for a year. This is going to sound strange but I have very little to do. I’m mostly remote, which doesn’t help. I’ve talked a little with my boss (who is happy with my performance). How can I bring this up more formally without sounding like I’ve been slacking off for almost a year?

Isabel’s advice: I’ve heard a variation of your dilemma several times in recent months. Graduates from large companies seem to be especially affected. We have already seen layoffs in the professional services and consulting sector because there is not enough work to go around. It sounds like you’re not thinking about leaving, but you need more structure.

It’s worth asking to be shadowed on tasks and projects: seeing how people do things is almost as valuable as doing them yourself. Do you have an internal mentor? If not, apply for one or offer to be a reverse mentor for an older manager. This will help you gain access to new people and departments.

Can you get some additional skills and training while you’re less busy? Online course modules (AI would be one of the most important) are useful here; Your manager could help you find financing for this. Playing with the AI ​​in your downtime can also be helpful. Also: can you help out at events/attend relevant conferences?

Basically, I’m suggesting that there’s no need to dwell on the lack of work. Reframe your future strategy to be proactive and “visible.” Even if you don’t have to be in the office, it may be worth traveling on some non-mandatory days. To put it bluntly, this would give you informal “face time” with seniors. I realize this is not what WFH evangelists want to hear, but we humans tend to remember the “new people” who are physically in front of us, not the ones we see on Zoom 💻. When the work starts, you will be in the foreground.

Do you have a question, problem or dilemma for Office Therapy? Do you think you have better advice for our readers? Send it to me: isabel.berwick@ft.com. We anonymize everything. His boss, colleagues or subordinates will never know.

Five notable stories from the world of work

1. Less meetings, more memos: the future of asynchronous work: Working when and where it suits us is a big trend. Mischa Frankl-Duval (best known as the producer of the Working It podcast, but he’s a man of many talents) delves into how organizations make this work.

2. The case for having more fun at work: I’m a fan of the lighter side of work (not to be confused with the dreaded corporate organized fun events) and in this column Pilita Clark explains the benefits of silliness and banter, within reason.

3. Employers Reexamine Wellness Strategies: We know that “wellbeing” initiatives at work are often useless, and in this article Alicia Clegg looks at where the money could go. Spoiler: invest in management training.

4. In education, some goals are better than others: Stephen Bush looks at what works to improve students’ experience and skills. Some private schools, for example, are dramatically reducing the number of public exams students take, leaving time for broader educational benefits.

5. Lunch with FT: Deborah Meaden from Dragons’ Den: Financial Times personal finance guru Claer Barrett talks investing, veganism and Generation Z with the famous tough investor and TV ‘dragon’. It is a fun and lively read.

One more thing . . .

axios goes into the dangers and misunderstandings of intergenerational emoji use at work 😥. As a proud member of Generation X, I will never believe the confident 👍 is anything other than a sign of agreement or sincere affirmation. Our full of irony Generation Z colleagues will probably disagree.

And finally . . .

The FT Women in Business Forum has 10 tickets to give away to Working It readers to my FT book launch event, Career prepared for the future. It is the afternoon of June 25 at the Financial Times office in the City of London.

There will be a stellar panel discussion on future-proofing our careers, featuring Gabriella Braun, career consultant and author of All we areHelen Tupper of professional consultant Amazing If (and co-host of one of my favorite podcasts, Wavy runs), and Andrew Scott, professor at London Business School and author of The longevity imperative.

Enter here. Winners will be drawn on May 24 at 5 p.m.