In his response, the Ethicist noted: “In principle, certain inferences about her base-line probabilities could be affected by having your DNA data; if you had a genetic predisposition to some health condition, her odds of having it — absent additional information — would be higher than average. … Yet it seems very unlikely that someone with malicious intent is going to be able to make much of this. And to let yourself be trammeled by hypothetical harms so indeterminate we can’t even spell them out can lead to a pretty straitened existence. In the end, your cousin’s objections, as you describe them, come across as less reasoned vigilance than mistrustful vibe. And it seems unfair that you should have to give up on joining an ancestry site owing to a vibe. Still, she’s family, someone with whom you have, and will want to maintain, a warm and trusting relationship. So try to talk the matter through — discussing the knowable facts, her fears and your hopes.” (Reread the full question and answer here.)
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My first thoughts are that the letter writer should essentially say to her cousin: “My DNA, my fee, my test, my results. Thanks for your opinion, but I want to proceed with this.” The Ethicist lays out some compelling stats, but it seems as if the cousin is not interested in stats or logic but her paranoid fear of Big Government. The cousin does not get to make the decision for the letter writer. The Ethicist’s answer was very empathetic and gentle; I don’t think anything but firm and direct will work here. — Dave
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The Ethicist is right, but only to a point. The letter writer should let her cousin’s concerns run their course for maybe six months. Then she should join Ancestry.com or another reputable company, take the test and not mention it to her cousin unless she finds some major connection she did not know about. I had a test done and am thrilled about the results. I have also picked up several cousins who were “born on the other side of the blanket.” Those people are so happy to know something about their family of birth. The letter writer shouldn’t deprive herself of this great ability to connect. — Dolly
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I personally believe that once you hand over your personal data to any organization, you lose control over where it may end up. Laws that presently prohibit insurance companies from discriminating on the basis of genetics could change in future. Not to mention the possibility that databases of genetic information could be hacked, and you could end up being blackmailed over your data. So I think the letter writer’s cousin has a perfectly legitimate concern, and it is extremely naïve to believe that giving your genetic data to any private company is entirely safe. — Sandra
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The risks are real. My DNA testing inadvertently exposed my cousin as having been another tester’s biological father 40 years earlier. As a sperm donor, my cousin had every expectation of privacy, yet my testing exposed him. — Mimi
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In general, I don’t think family members should have a DNA test without consulting the family. My son did one and found that my father, his grandfather, had fathered a few children around the various military bases where he was stationed. I was not surprised, but needless to say this created some turbulence in the family. My father admitted that he frequented many prostitutes on a continual basis. I expect that every family has this scenario somewhere in the family tree. A co-worker found out that his father was not his biological father. I do know of a case where a woman found her biological father; I don’t know what impact that had on her father’s family. This kind of embarrassment benefits no family. In the reality of human history, breeding, love, lust, species survival and evolution, human reproduction is messy and sometimes just nutty. — Tom