That and, do people really think it needs to be one or the other? Can you not love your spouse as much as you love your kids, and is it wrong that kids just need more direct attention and care in many ways? Crazies
My kids will always be my no 1 priority. I dont care what anyone says. They need guidance and cannot fend for themselves. The whole point in raising kids to be independent and healthy is that eventually they move out and find their own happiness. Life doesnt require a SO to be happy. I dont care if Im alone in the end and my children have their own families because if Ive raised them right theyll always make me apart of their lives so Ill never truly be alone. Five generations live on my grandmas farm. We all take care of one another and we all try to work together to raise the children. When they grow up and choose to leave the farm then I hope they learned enough to find their own happiness and independence. I'll be ok on my own.
If you bring a child into this world, they immediatly become more of a priority than the mother or the father. Yes its imprtant to put yourself first too, but this small creature needs protection, and instruction, this is a clear example of all children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children.
My dad hated when my mom gave us attention he is a pretty bad narcissist this resulted in me not knowing how to make food and no one making me food my siblings would be able to get away with heinous things because no one was paying attention and I most likely have facial blindness because my siblings would throw me around as a baby and one day I fell
I had two children after 13 years of marriage. I had made my husband the center of my life. I loved being a mom, but my husband just couldn't handle the redirection of my attention even though I made a point to pay attention to him. So we were divorced by the time my kids were10 &7 and almost 25 years of marriage.
For me, I am one of those men that would prioritize my own well being over my children, which is why I will not be having any kids ever. It is completely irresponsible to have kids if you are not going to make them your top priority. Now, that doesn't mean you don't take some time for yourselves or your relationship, but your kids come first always.
NGL, I agree with what you're saying about men being jealous of their kids, etc., wholeheartedly. That said, as far as my wife and I are concerned, we 100% prioritize our relationship over our kids, mutually, within the appropriate hierarchy of:
Kid needs always come first, no exceptions, and we both prioritize their wellbeing above our own. But beyond that, as it relates to the day to day of things? Making time for each other? Those sorts of things? My kids will grow up seeing us prioritize each other over extended family, work, friends, and putting each other first no matter the situation. I think it's a nuanced topic, personally, on when/what/where kids take priority VS your spouse.
I've had this issue. Which lead to me being a single mom. The issue gets worse after that point. But, people lie about being in love all the time and one day, they may wake up and not feel that anymore. But your children love you no matter what for the rest of their lives (assuming you aren't a really bad parent). Which is one of the reasons, I will choose my children every time.
I ran into this problem woth my ex wife. Any time u would try to soend time with the kids or take care of anf fix there probkems she would start a figut with me about how she needed to come first. It was a tough time. Kids get taken care of first as adults we should be taking care of ourselves.
Oh I’ll fully respond to the woman, pointing to her kids as props for a discussion to not value them as highly as their husband. Even if you decide to do life this way it’s cruel to announce it to the kids, even more cruel to make a public announcement while pointing to them.
I hate bad points. The reason I say hate and not dislike is because a lot of them can look vaguely similar to good points. Yes children should be a priority, what kind of person would think that there needs to be a competition between the affection given to them and to their own children?? But I always see the other side… The actual conversations that could have been had instead of BS. Discussion about how maybe parents shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for their children, that they can and should be able to take care of themselves and each other as well as their kids, and how a good social structure can help with that. Maybe discussions about parents understanding that their love life in or outside the bedroom doesn't have to stop because they have kids. Cause my own parents did, and a lot of others I know.
Granted I am not a parent but again, I hate bad points cause they take up the room for constructive and necessary conversations.
I see the end point over what the topic is, think it’s not the fact that you’re jealous of your children. It’s the fact that the person you chose as your partner no longer views you as your partner and you end up becoming just roommates hence why a lot of people get divorce right after the kids are old enough and moved out of the house.
I don’t think that jealousy has anything to do with it. I think it’s more of a conscious effort to not consider yourself in a partnership, a marriage more that you dismissed that role and have chosen to be a parent and only a parent, so you no longer work on the partnership as a marriage you just work on the partnership as parents that is a cold partnership ( as busy bees making sure the work gets done to make the lives of the kids is better) where a marriage has emotions has temperature has intimacy there a lot of marriages that fall into that , causing a lot of problems and honestly at the end of the day your children ,come 18 are going to leave and go live their own lives, and you’re gonna be left with each other and if you no longer have a bond, why have the marriage think that’s what she’s getting at.
But I also see where you’re coming at where you can’t fathom that idea however, in reality that happens a lot more than you think. I don’t believe it’s toxic masculinity, but I also do believe that it is a problem is at both ends.
But what do I know I’m just a product of a toxic situation and marriage that is just floating through the Earth .
Spouses do need to care and prioritize each other so that the foundation of the family is a strong marriage but this was a horrible way of saying that if that’s what she was trying to say.
So, judging from the comments, I may get backlash for this, but making your child the center of your world is going to be disastrous. Wanna raise a self indulged, narcissistic human, tell them their whole childhood that you only live for them.
If you are an adult, you should put the needs of your spouse and children before your own.
That and, do people really think it needs to be one or the other? Can you not love your spouse as much as you love your kids, and is it wrong that kids just need more direct attention and care in many ways? Crazies
My kids will always be my no 1 priority. I dont care what anyone says. They need guidance and cannot fend for themselves. The whole point in raising kids to be independent and healthy is that eventually they move out and find their own happiness. Life doesnt require a SO to be happy. I dont care if Im alone in the end and my children have their own families because if Ive raised them right theyll always make me apart of their lives so Ill never truly be alone. Five generations live on my grandmas farm. We all take care of one another and we all try to work together to raise the children. When they grow up and choose to leave the farm then I hope they learned enough to find their own happiness and independence. I'll be ok on my own.
If you bring a child into this world, they immediatly become more of a priority than the mother or the father. Yes its imprtant to put yourself first too, but this small creature needs protection, and instruction, this is a clear example of all children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children.
AMEN BROTHER!!!!!
She said this in front of her children. Somebodies going into a home
Saying that in front of the kids hurts my Inner Kids
My dad hated when my mom gave us attention he is a pretty bad narcissist this resulted in me not knowing how to make food and no one making me food my siblings would be able to get away with heinous things because no one was paying attention and I most likely have facial blindness because my siblings would throw me around as a baby and one day I fell
How is this on the husband? Did he ask that of her? What did I miss?
My husband pits our kids before me because I taught him how 🤔
It’s another level to shame women. You’re too good of a mom then your husband/spouse are missing something
I had two children after 13 years of marriage. I had made my husband the center of my life. I loved being a mom, but my husband just couldn't handle the redirection of my attention even though I made a point to pay attention to him. So we were divorced by the time my kids were10 &7 and almost 25 years of marriage.
Agreed, but does she need to make this video in front of the children? I would keep the children out if this conflict as much as possible.
Wow. The woman says it and you still find a way to blame men. Bravo 👏
you can't see this guys ears because he is AI. If he turns profile there are a bunch of tubes, wires, lights and two little makeup artists.
Patriarchy is a mind fawk
Yeah. Agreed. Kids are first. Not to be spoiled etc but they are kids and their needs are important. I put the kids before myself – and the hubby.
For me, I am one of those men that would prioritize my own well being over my children, which is why I will not be having any kids ever.
It is completely irresponsible to have kids if you are not going to make them your top priority. Now, that doesn't mean you don't take some time for yourselves or your relationship, but your kids come first always.
NGL, I agree with what you're saying about men being jealous of their kids, etc., wholeheartedly. That said, as far as my wife and I are concerned, we 100% prioritize our relationship over our kids, mutually, within the appropriate hierarchy of:
1. Kid needs
2. Adult needs
3. Adult wants
4. Kid wants
Kid needs always come first, no exceptions, and we both prioritize their wellbeing above our own. But beyond that, as it relates to the day to day of things? Making time for each other? Those sorts of things? My kids will grow up seeing us prioritize each other over extended family, work, friends, and putting each other first no matter the situation. I think it's a nuanced topic, personally, on when/what/where kids take priority VS your spouse.
I've had this issue. Which lead to me being a single mom. The issue gets worse after that point. But, people lie about being in love all the time and one day, they may wake up and not feel that anymore. But your children love you no matter what for the rest of their lives (assuming you aren't a really bad parent). Which is one of the reasons, I will choose my children every time.
I ran into this problem woth my ex wife. Any time u would try to soend time with the kids or take care of anf fix there probkems she would start a figut with me about how she needed to come first. It was a tough time. Kids get taken care of first as adults we should be taking care of ourselves.
Don't prioritize your children, but DO use them to get views. Got it.
Oh I’ll fully respond to the woman, pointing to her kids as props for a discussion to not value them as highly as their husband. Even if you decide to do life this way it’s cruel to announce it to the kids, even more cruel to make a public announcement while pointing to them.
I hate bad points. The reason I say hate and not dislike is because a lot of them can look vaguely similar to good points. Yes children should be a priority, what kind of person would think that there needs to be a competition between the affection given to them and to their own children??
But I always see the other side… The actual conversations that could have been had instead of BS. Discussion about how maybe parents shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for their children, that they can and should be able to take care of themselves and each other as well as their kids, and how a good social structure can help with that. Maybe discussions about parents understanding that their love life in or outside the bedroom doesn't have to stop because they have kids. Cause my own parents did, and a lot of others I know.
Granted I am not a parent but again, I hate bad points cause they take up the room for constructive and necessary conversations.
Confirmation Bias?
Seems like we may be drawing a lot of conclusions on the basis of very little.
Jeez don't you know… Real men eat their young and marry proxies of their mothers.
I see the end point over what the topic is, think it’s not the fact that you’re jealous of your children. It’s the fact that the person you chose as your partner no longer views you as your partner and you end up becoming just roommates hence why a lot of people get divorce right after the kids are old enough and moved out of the house.
I don’t think that jealousy has anything to do with it. I think it’s more of a conscious effort to not consider yourself in a partnership, a marriage more that you dismissed that role and have chosen to be a parent and only a parent, so you no longer work on the partnership as a marriage you just work on the partnership as parents that is a cold partnership ( as busy bees making sure the work gets done to make the lives of the kids is better) where a marriage has emotions has temperature has intimacy there a lot of marriages that fall into that , causing a lot of problems and honestly at the end of the day your children ,come 18 are going to leave and go live their own lives, and you’re gonna be left with each other and if you no longer have a bond, why have the marriage think that’s what she’s getting at.
But I also see where you’re coming at where you can’t fathom that idea however, in reality that happens a lot more than you think. I don’t believe it’s toxic masculinity, but I also do believe that it is a problem is at both ends.
But what do I know I’m just a product of a toxic situation and marriage that is just floating through the Earth .
Spouses do need to care and prioritize each other so that the foundation of the family is a strong marriage but this was a horrible way of saying that if that’s what she was trying to say.
So, judging from the comments, I may get backlash for this, but making your child the center of your world is going to be disastrous. Wanna raise a self indulged, narcissistic human, tell them their whole childhood that you only live for them.
My kids will always be my priority,
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