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Self-compassion is associated with greater motivation, less procrastination, and better relationships. A psychologist explains how to develop it

Mindfulness and self-compassion are now Keywords for self-optimization. In fact, a growing body of research shows that these practices can result in real mental health benefits. This research—ongoing, extensive, and worldwide—shows it clearly how and why these two practices work.

An effective way to cultivate mindfulness and self-compassion is through meditation.

For over 20 years as Clinical psychologist, researcher and educator, I taught meditation to students and clinical patients and delved deeply into the research literature. My current book “The self-talk training: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Dissolve Self-Criticism and Transform the Voice in Your Head,” highlights much of this research.

I learned even more while evaluating Mental Health Programs And psychology lesson that train the participants in techniques of mindfulness and compassion.

Define mindfulness and self-compassion

Mindfulness means consciously paying attention to the present moment with an attitude of interest or curiosity rather than judgment.

Self-compassion means being kind and understanding to yourself, even in moments of suffering or failure.

Both are connected with more wellbeing.

But don’t get confused Self-compassion with self-esteem or egocentric, or assume that this somehow lowers your standards, motivation, or productivity. Instead, research shows that self-compassion is associated with greater motivation, less procrastination And better relationships.

Be patient when beginning a meditation practice

I didn’t like meditation—the specific practice sessions that teach mindfulness and self-compassion—when I first tried it as a college student in the late ’90s. I felt like a failure when my mind wandered, and I took that as a sign that I couldn’t.

In both my own and others’ meditation practice, I have found that beginnings are often rocky and full of doubts, resistance and distractions.

But what seem like obstacles can actually improve meditation practice because the mental work of dealing with them builds strength.

For the first six months that I meditated, my body and mind were restless. I wanted to get up and do other tasks. But I didn’t. Eventually, it became easier to be aware of my urges and thoughts without reacting to them. I wasn’t that angry with myself.

After about a year of consistent meditation, my mind seemed more organized and controllable; it no longer got stuck in self-critical loops. I felt a sense of kindness or kindness towards me in everyday moments as well as in joyful or difficult experiences. Ordinary activities such as walking or cleaning were more fun for me.

It took me a while to understand that sitting down and trying to meditate is meditation. It’s more of a mental process than a goal.

How meditation affects the mind

Just having a general intention to be more mindful or self-compassionate is unlikely to work.

Most programs have shown that they make significant differences include at least seven sessions. Studies show these repetitive workouts improve attentional skills And Reduce rumination or repetitive negative thinking.

they also reduce self-criticismwhich is associated with numerous mental health problemsincluding depression, Fear, eating disorder, self harm And Post-traumatic stress disorder.

Meditation isn’t just about keeping your attention—it’s about that, too Shifting and returning your focus after the distraction. The act of shifting and refocusing cultivates attentional skills and reduces rumination.

Always try to stay away from it self-assessment during the session will exercise your mind to be less self-critical.

An interconnected group of brain regions called the network in standard mode Is strikingly influenced by meditation. Much of this network’s activity reflects repetitive thinking, such as For example, repeating decades of tension with your sister. It’s most noticeable when you’re not doing much of anything. Network activity is in standard mode associated with rumination, unhappiness And depression.

Research shows that just a month of meditation reduces network noise in standard mode. The type of meditation practice doesn’t seem to matter.

Establishment of formal practice

A common misconception about mindfulness is that it is simply a journey to relax or clear your head. Rather, it means paying attention to your experiences intentionally and nonjudgmentally.

Consider meditation a formal part of your practice—that is, making time to work on specific mindfulness and self-compassion techniques.

Cultivating mindfulness through meditation often means focusing on paying attention to the breath. A common way to start practicing is to sit in a comfortable place and focus attention on your breathing, wherever you feel it most intensely.

Eventually, probably after a breath or two, your mind will wander to another thought or feeling. Once you notice this, you can bring your attention back to your breath and try not to judge yourself for losing focus for five to ten minutes.

When I was just starting to meditate, I had to redirect my attention dozens or hundreds of times in a 20-30 minute session. Counting 10 breaths and then another 10 and so on helped me connect my mind to the task of paying attention to my breathing.

The most established technique for cultivating self-compassion is called loving-kindness meditation. To practice, you can find a comfortable position and mentally repeat phrases like, “May I be safe” for at least five minutes. may i be happy May I be healthy? May I live with ease.”

If your attention wanders, you can bring it back with as little self-judgment as possible and keep repeating the phrases. If you wish, then offer the same good wishes to other people or to all beings.

Each time you bring your focus back to your practice without judgment, you’re leaning forward in your mental awareness because you’ve noticed your mind has wandered. You also improve your ability to direct attention, a valuable anti-rumination skill, and your lack of judgement, an antidote to self-criticism.

These practices work. Studies show that brain activity during meditation leads to less self-judgment, depression and anxiety And leads to less rumination.

Mindfulness also occurs when you tune into present moment sensations, such as: B. tasting your food or washing the dishes.

A steady routine of formal and informal practice can transform your thinking. And once again, doing it every once in a while doesn’t help that much. It’s like situps: a single situp probably won’t strengthen your abs, but multiple sets a day will.

Meditation reduces self-criticism

Studies show that mindfulness meditation And Loving Kindness Meditation reduce self-criticism leads to better mental healthincluding lower levels of depression, Fear And PTSD. After an eight-week mindfulness program, participants experienced less self-judgment. These changes were associated with a decrease in depression and anxiety.

One last point: Beginning meditators may find that self-criticism gets worse before it gets better.

After years or decades of habitual self-judgment, people often judge themselves harshly when they lose focus during meditation. But once students get through the first few weeks of practice, self-judgment begins to subside, both about the meditation and about themselves in general.

As one of my students recently said after several weeks of mindfulness meditation, “I’m more stable, better able to let go of unhelpful thoughts, and able to do all of this while being a little more compassionate and loving to myself.”

Rachel Goldsmith TurowAssociate Associate Professor of Population Health Science and Policy, Seattle University

This article is republished by The conversation under a Creative Commons license. read this original article.


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