people’s stories can sometimes increase anxiety. That’s why it’s important to find a balance and surround yourself with positive and uplifting stories as well. Breast cancer can be a life-altering experience, but it doesn’t define who you are. Estes, Ponde, and Wishloff all face their own unique challenges, but they continue to find strength, support, and moments of happiness along their journey. They are warriors, not defined by their diagnosis, but by their resilience and determination to live each day to the fullest.
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Shaquita Estes remembers being in complete disbelief when the doctor told her she might have breast cancer. “I absolutely lost it,” Estes says. “I remember falling to the ground and telling him that I heard what he was saying, that this couldn’t be true.”
Estes, a 45-year-old pediatric nurse practitioner from Palmetto, GA, says she was caught off guard because she didn’t have Family history of cancer except for a grandfather with prostate cancer. Although a family history of cancer is a risk factor, cancer can still occur if it does not run in your family. Most women who get breast cancer do not have a family history of the disease.
As a health care hardworking, Estes’s medical instincts pushed her to get what felt like a mastitis breast pain, plugged milk ducts which can occur when breast-feed, checked. “I knew he didn’t have mastitis because he wasn’t [breast]feeding.”
In September 2018, Estes was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinomaa common type of breast cancer It begins in the milk ducts. It constitutes about 80% of all cases of breast cancer.
A Life-Changing Diagnosis mother cancer can unearth many emotions. It is not uncommon to have depression, anxietyuncertainty, fear, loneliness and body image themes, among others. In fact, about 1 in 4 people with any type of cancer may have clinical depression and benefit from your treatment. One day she’s just going about her life, and the next minute she’s struggling with tests and scans while trying to make sense of complex medical information and her rapidly changing reality.
After receiving a diagnosis, some women may experience “significant distress,” says Kathleen Ashton, a clinical physician. psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Breast, Digestive Diseases and Surgery Institute. “They may not know what the next steps are.”
The word “cancer” itself can be a source of concern for many women, Ashton says. Fears can include concerns about the costs of treatment, anxiety and uncertainty about how it will affect your life or even mortality, how cancer can change your physical body, and how it can affect the life of your loved one.
After diagnosis, you will meet with your doctor to go over a treatment plan based on the type and grade of cancer you have. Ashton says it’s easy to get “very overwhelmed” as there are so many steps and a lot of information to take in. It’s a good idea to bring a support person with you to help you and take notes on what is said.
“I really recommend that patients focus on one step of the plan at a time and stay flexible because sometimes the plan changes as you get more information at each step,” Ashton says. This can help you feel less anxious.
breast cancer treatments as chemotherapy, radiationor surgery can cause many physical changes. Depending on the type of treatment you have, surgical removal or reconstruction of breast tissue can leave scars. you can lose hair through chemotherapy. Some people with breast cancer may also have weight gain and go through early menopause. These physical changes can cause problems with self-image and confidence.
For Estes, losing her hair it was a big point of concern. “In African-American culture…it’s really our crown, our strength. It’s who we are,” Estes says. “I had a lot of pride and joy in my hair.” Once Estes started losing his hair, he says that he decided to hug him. “I just went and shaved it off completely.”
Snehal Ponde also had strong feelings about her hair. “All I thought was, ‘I don’t want to lose my hair.’ It’s like your hair, your chest, it’s a reflection of who we are as women.”
Ponde, a 37-year-old Indian expat living in Singapore, gave birth to her son in April 2020. Three months later, like Estes, she felt a lump that turned out to be stage IV cancer.
During chemotherapy, she opted to try a cooling cap to reduce Hair loss. Worn before, during and after each treatment, the cap is designed to circulate a cooling liquid around the head. The cold temperature can prevent chemotherapy from damaging hair follicles.
“Right now, I have almost 60-70% of my hair,” says Ponde. Research on cooling caps has been mixed, with better results from newer types of these caps, some of which have FDA approval. There are some theoretical questions about whether cold temperatures could allow some cancer cells to remain in the scalp, but so far there are no signs of safety concerns in the studies. If you’re considering adding a cooling cap, ask your doctor what they think about them and what to look for. and check if your sure covers the cost of the cover.
For Shayla Wishloff, the sudden feeling of uncertainty was unsettling. “I thought I had such control of my life. I’m always the girl who had the yearly planner. I planned my vacation 6 months later. I had a 5-year plan and I was doing it.”
Wishloff, now 25, was 24 when he got his diagnosis of breast cancer. She had just finished nursing school in Alberta, Canada, and was talking about buying a house, getting married, and having kids. One day, while she was applying lotion after her shower, she felt a lump in her breast. “Having my background in nursing, I thought, ‘Well, that’s not good.'”
The doctors assured her that it is very rare for a 20-year-old to get breast cancer. Studies show that only 5% of all breast cancers are found in people under the age of 40; breast cancer is most often diagnosed in women age 50 and older. But Wishloff biopsy led to a diagnosis of an aggressive form of stage II breast cancer. “I thought I could beat him,” Wishloff says.
After 6 months of chemotherapy that she says didn’t really work, Wishloff underwent surgery to remove both breasts, a double mastectomy – followed by reconstructive surgery. Wishloff also received radiation treatments to try to kill any remaining cancer cells. She recalls that she was later told that “there was no evidence of disease.”
But a few months later, bad news arrived. Wishloff says that a follow-up computed tomography showed multiple tumors on her lungs and sternum. He was stage IV breast cancer, which can be treated but not cured. Wishloff says that in October 2020, his doctors estimated that he had about a year to live. “It’s just a shock. The only way to say it is that it feels like the whole world is collapsing on you,” she says.
It took me a while to accept it all. “I don’t think that far into the future and get so anxious about it,” says Wishloff. “I realize now, today, that I am fine. I am happy today. Today I can live a good day”.
Going through breast cancer and its treatment can be physically and emotionally draining. Having family and friends act as a support system can be a comfort.
Estes feels lucky to have close family members nearby. But it’s her best friends who really help her up when she needs it. They call themselves the Ta Group.
“They are five of my best friends,” she says. “We just got together and prayed. I’ll go to my prayer room, I call it my war room. If I needed to talk, I would just talk to them there.”
Professional therapy can also help. Check with your health care team if you would like a reference. “I think my counselor has really helped me get through everything, all my traumas…and deal with it,” Ponde says.
Talking and connecting with people who are going through breast cancer can help you feel understood and less alone. She can find support groups on social networking sites like Facebook and can join local organizations.
You can also talk to a social worker or your counselor for more resources. When he’s looking for community, Ashton points out that hearing people’s stories or reading too many negative posts online can cause him more anxiety. Her advice: Notice what is helping you.
“Women with breast cancer come into their diagnosis with many strengths, and it’s important to use those strengths along the way to help them on their journey,” says Ashton.
Diagnosis and treatments for breast cancer demand a lot from you and your body. You owe it to yourself to take the time, even a few moments now and then, to relax and take care of yourself.
Here are some things you can do:
- Yoga and meditation. These mindfulness practices can help reduce your fatigue and stress. any kind of exercise It’s also a good outlet for stress.
- Take walks. “It could be the worst day of my life, and then I go for a walk. That’s the only thing I can do and I know it will 100% change my mood,” says Wishloff.
- Images. Many people with cancer find that visualization exercises can help. handle the pain and stress To get started, close your eyes and think of a happy image in your mind. You can also think of an activity that you enjoy and let your mind stop. This can make you feel calmer.
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