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Is shy something you feel or something you are? According to a new study, it could be anyone.
Whether shyness is part of your child’s personality or just something he feels when he’s in front of a group of strangers, it’s a typical experience, according to the study published Tuesday in the journal. Society for Research in Child Development.
“Shyness is characterized by fear and nervousness in new social situations or when being the center of attention,” said study lead author Kristie Poole, a Banting Postdoctoral Fellow at Brock University in St. Catharines, Ontario. , which studies social and emotional development.
To look at shyness, the researchers took 152 7- and 8-year-old children to a lab and told them they would give a speech that would be filmed and shown to other children, according to the study.
Parents reported their children’s level of shyness tendencies prior to the study, while researchers controlled for children’s nervous behavior, such as looking away; your physiological responses to danger through an electrocardiogram; and her affective response through how nervous the child reported she was, Poole said.
The study revealed About 10% of the children showed a high level of stress while giving the speech, as well as a pattern of relatively high levels of shyness over time, according to their parents. This discovery provides evidence that shyness may be part of the temperament of these children, Poole added.
Approximately 25% of study participants Their parents did not report being shy, but they did show a higher level of reactivity to social stress when giving the speech, Poole said.
“It is likely that the experience of … shyness in response to a speech task is a relatively common normative experience for children of this age,” Poole said. “However, for a smaller group of temperamentally shy children, being the center of attention can be stressful over time and in various contexts.”
The study had some limitations, notably that the children studied were mostly white and from the same socioeconomic background, said Koraly Pérez-Edgar, associate director of the Social Science Research Institute and a professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University. Pérez-Edgar was not involved in the investigation.
“We need larger and more diverse studies that can help us see the emergence of groups of children in communities, and in large enough numbers, so that we can track how well these children are doing over time,” Pérez-Edgar said. .
A shy temperament isn’t always as socially valued as more outgoing personalities, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong, Pérez-Edgar said.
“In the West, we tend to think of the exuberant and sociable ideal,” he said in an email. “We should take a step back and think about the wide range of traits and their unique contributions.”
Everyone can feel shy at times depending on the environment, Perez-Edgar said. And those who are particularly shy often have happy social lives, they just aren’t likely to be the liveliest person in a crowded room, he added.
But there are things to keep in mind. Of the most persistently shy children, about half will develop an anxiety disorder, Perez-Edgar said.
“Concerns arise for the more extreme children, who cannot overcome their shyness and have difficulties functioning in school, having friends or participating in typical activities (clubs, sports),” she said. “That’s when parents should think about stepping in.”
Although shyness is not necessarily a problem in and of itself, families should be vigilant about signs of anxiety particularly her shy children, Pérez-Edgar said.
“However, it’s important to know that not all shy children are the same, and that many shy children grow up to be well-adjusted adults,” Poole said.
If your child is avoiding situations that are important or that they might enjoy because they’re feeling nervous, it might be time to intervene, said Dr. Erika Chiappini, a child and adolescent psychologist at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center in Baltimore.
That could mean “don’t talk in class, trouble making or keeping friends, and not joining in activities they might otherwise enjoy,” he said via email.
Instead of labeling the child as shy, describe what you see and normalize your feelings, Chiappini advised.
He recommended saying something like: “You seem a little nervous or unsure about who everyone is/what to say. We haven’t seen them before and that can be a bit awkward.”
From there, you can ask them to participate when they’re ready, safe in the knowledge that you’ll be there to support them, he added.
The more we avoid situations, the more anxiety we’ll have about them in the future, which can make them harder to do next time, Chiappini said. But that doesn’t mean pushing her son in too deep.
“We may have to address a situation gradually. For example, you may need to encourage your child to only make eye contact during an outing before expecting him to ask someone a question,” she said.
And if you’re concerned that shy behavior is inhibiting your child, you can ask your child’s pediatrician or school counselor to help you find resources, Chiappini said.
There are medication-supported and non-medication-supported therapies that can be particularly helpful for children and adolescents experiencing anxiety, he added.
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