“I pray that one day you won’t. But look inside the can, past the neon pink ichor. You want that drink. But when you’re a streamer, that drink wants stuff from you. He wants you to drive the transactions. And what happens when we push transactions? I feel your confusion, so I will tell you: we monetize.
“But Father… What if I don’t want to monetize the transactions?”
“Then throw away your devices and dive into the sea. But even there you will find server farms. They put them in the ocean to cool them down. And those servers are also processing transactions, in barnacle-encrusted underwater data centers.”
“So if I monetize…can I stream for a living?”
“No children. You’re welcome. You can push transactions that brands You can monetize, but automonetization requires a lot more work. For that, you must place a link in your bio.”
“And where does that link lead to?”
“To many, many places. You could write a book of tips and tricks. You could record birthday greetings on Cameo. You could resell the products that the brands send you. You could train others to become streamers so they can prove your success. It could promote cryptocurrencies, at least when bitcoin is high. You could sell mattress ads on your podcast.”
“Should I do a podcast too?”
“Everyone should do a podcast. And of course, although I hate to say it, there’s Patreon.”
He looked at the ground. But these things have nothing to do with luigi’s mansion.”
“That is the truth, and you must accept it. Now we come to the third and most important Question. I paused for effect. “Are you Face or are you Hands?”
He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. “There are two types of influencers. There are Faces, who appear on camera, even in the corner, while broadcasting. They exist in the moment and talk for hours. Sometimes they become very famous, and if they can survive being internet famous, sometimes they can monetize and become rich. Handheld influencers, however, record and edit. They show you things. They are deliberate. They put the camera on the table and you see them at work, their knowledge and skills. You imagine your hands doing the same job. They can teach you how to cook, play the piano, calligraphy, crochet, and fix old toys, and yes, how to get Luigi to hoard golden bones to get one. You can watch them for years and never see their faces. They add tables of contents to their videos. They are your teachers, not your friends. They command respect.”
“Faces are more famous,” he said.
“When they’re successful, that’s true,” I said. “But the Hands are happier. Rarely are they in a situation where they have to look at the camera and apologize for having sex with another streamer’s spouse, or for watching fake pornography of another streamer, or for saying racist things while playing video games. Faces should always apologize. Hands never need to say they’re sorry.”
“But my favorite streamers are Faces!”
“There’s a joke, you’re old enough to understand this now, about a statue of a man and woman sculpted in an embrace, brought to life by a mischievous god for a day. But when he gave them life they did not sleep together, as the god expected. Instead they caught pigeons and defecated on them.”
—————————————————-
Source link