Since Anthony Bridges found out he had prostate cancer six years ago, he hasn’t stopped talking about it. He told him Facebook Friends immediately.
Now the 68-year-old Georgia man spends time working with others to encourage other men to talk to their doctor about getting checked.
For cultural or privacy reasons—or because they just don’t want to talk about it—not everyone is as willing to share. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin He kept his prostate cancer a secret, even from President Joe Biden. And more recently, Kate, Princess of WalesShe waited weeks before publicly announcing she had cancer.
Austin described his diagnosis as a “punch in the gut” and his instinct was to keep it a secret. In a video statement, Kate said it had been a “huge shock” and that she and her husband, Prince William, had tried to “handle this privately for the benefit of our young family.”
Their reactions hardly surprised experts. Dr. Otis Brawley says he’s met men who wouldn’t even talk to their own doctors about their prostate cancer.
Brawley, a professor of oncology and epidemiology at Johns Hopkins University, recalled a time decades ago when people simply didn’t talk about cancer, but called it the “Big C.”
The public conversation about prostate cancer has changed, he said, than it once did Senator Bob Dole announced his diagnosis and spoke publicly about erectile dysfunction, a side effect of the treatment.
This was the case with breast cancer First Lady Betty Fordwho spoke openly about her surgery and treatment.
“That opened the floodgates. Then it was OK to talk about cancer,” Brawley said.
In the United States, cancer death rates have been declining for decades, attributed to advances in lung cancer control, screening and better treatments. Still, it remains the No. 2 killer in the country behind heart disease, and cases are increasing as the population ages and grows.
Elaine Smith, who counsels patients at City of Hope Cancer Center Atlanta, said a patient’s openness often depends on personality. Some people don’t want to be identified as just a cancer patient.
“Many of my patients say that people speak to them in a different tone of voice,” Smith said. “’They lean into me differently, they look at me differently with their eyes.’”
Sometimes people worry about how their colleagues will react if they have to miss work for appointments and treatments.
“In many cases we may not recognize it, but… That can sometimes play a role in how we judge their job performance,” Dr. Bradley Carthon of the Winship Cancer Institute at Emory University.
Typically, patients share their information with their family, experts say, but even that can be difficult.
Kate noted that it took some time “to explain everything to George, Charlotte and Louis in a way that was appropriate for them and to reassure them that I would be fine.”
“She has the added challenges of having young children,” Dr. Christina Annunziata, a cancer doctor at the Inova Schar Cancer Institute in Fairfax, Virginia. “As hard as it is to explain to friends and family or even colleagues. It’s even harder to explain to young children.”
The downside to secrecy is that “you have to deal with this all on your own,” Carthon said.
Dr. Paul Monk, who treats cancer patients at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, said it’s important for patients to bring a family member or other support person with them to appointments.
“I don’t think they hear everything I say,” he said. “So bringing someone else with you to your doctor’s visit is another pair of ears, and I think that’s critically important.”
Bridges’ wife Phyllis took on that role for him when he began treatment for advanced prostate cancer in 2018. He said he had no symptoms and only went for a checkup at her urging.
Bridges felt called to share his story with others, particularly black men, and is now part of a program called Project Elevation. The program’s goal is to work with local churches to eliminate the stigma surrounding prostate cancer and provide information about screening.
“We need to change the mindset,” the Albany, Georgia, resident said. “We have to dispel fear.”