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The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life





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About this video lesson:
The attachment theory argues that a strong emotional and physical bond to one primary caregiver in our first years of life is critical to our development. If our bonding is strong and we are securely attached, then we feel safe to explore the world. If our bond is weak, we feel insecurely attached. We are afraid to leave or explore a rather scary-looking world. Because we are not sure if we can return. Often we then don’t understand our own feelings.

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Dealing with Attachment Issues:
For those who feel like they can’t help themselves, or can’t find trust through their partners of family, we recommend looking for professional support through a therapy. Here three of therapies that those with such issues may want to look at:

1. Psychoanalysis. The aim of psychoanalysis therapy is to release repressed emotions and experiences, i.e., make the unconscious conscious. In order to do that, the therapist might try to bring back some childhood memories, to work at the root cause of the problem.

2. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). CBT is a psycho-social intervention that is widely used for improving mental health. Instead of trying to bring you back in time, it aims to explain to you what’s going on inside your brain and how to cope with irrational feelings or fears. It’s the only form of therapy that’s widely recognized in Western countries as being effective.

3. The Hoffmann Process. This 7-8 day’s guided process, designed by the American psychologist Hoffmann, brings participants back into their childhood to reconnect with their parents at the time when an attachment is formed. It’s very intensive and could potentially be harmful if no proper supervision is being offered the month after.

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Full Script:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v82PcEvf_G2iolc5ejPY5dQ2RtqU1Vj9V5L_iIKWUhk/edit?usp=sharing

Sources:

Havard Study
https://arizona.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/feelings-of-parental-caring-predict-health-status-in-midlife-a-35

Minnesota Study
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2857405/

Further Readings:
https://www.psychologistworld.com/developmental/attachment-theory

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23 thoughts on “The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life”

  2. @ValadrienLeonhart

    To the people in this comment section blaming feminism :
    I'm a girl living in a Muslim country. Without feminism, I would have been in a much much worse condition than I am right now. I can't describe it because Youtube kept deleting it. And not so long ago western women were treated the way factory chickens are. Go watch the uncensored documentaries without having nausea.
    Feminism saved them from that darkness.
    If the men are the only ones who hold the money and jobs of authority, they have full power and control. It has been proven, since the dawn of time, that unchecked power leads to greediness and tyranny. No matter how good and nice a husband is, if said husband has so much power and control and he knows he would get little to no consequences even if he does as he pleases, he will eventually become evil. And that was what happened before the 21st Century, billions of women & little girls were the victims.
    Feminism is the one who balances the patriarchy, just like the Prime Minister who balances the power of the King.
    And remember, true feminism is about acknowledging that women are free human beings deserving of human rights. Is that too much to ask?

    Sorry if my English is not so good.

  3. @graceshields7948

    I kinda hate how this video completely discounts the Dad as being able to be the secure person. Like if your Mum didnt make you feel secure its her fault you're messed up. Your Dad should be able to make you feel secure and safe as well, and if you didn't have that with a parent you should blame both of them not just the Mum.
    This expectation for the Mother to be the safety net and primary care giver is why some Dad's feel as if they don't have to be as good of a parent as the Mum and it's BS. Also probably adds to the stress causing the mother to not cope.
    If anyone is reading this and getting angry at their Mum be angry at your Dad as well he had the same responsibility so should have the same accountability, all a child needs is one person, doesn't have to be the Mum.

  8. @officialsiblings2142

    Is there any solutions for this type of attachmens???

    Like i experienced
    Anxious disorganised
    Than anxious avoidant
    than anxious ambivalent
    Than securedly attached

    But as my favourite person died now i am stuck moving from anxious avoidant and anxious disorganised…..

    I need a solution please help me if you can……. 😭 😭

  9. @mikie6633

    I never married, no kids because of that cunt of a mother of mine. Now this program is telling me, she is the cause of my health issues. So the Abuse never ends………

  14. @SandhyaTanwar-k3j

    Watched the whole video, THANK GODS I have a loving family, I took it for granted earlier my sister and my mother are my closest and I love my dad as well. I am just so lucky I can express my self and I can be my true self.

  17. @nandinimukhopadhyay8905

    I love children and am very maternal towards things smaller/younger/weaker than me. But there's a good chance that I'll choose to remain child free. It's because my biggest fear is becoming a mother like the one I had. It's a vague feeling, because most of the time I feel like I never really had a mother, even though I lived in a family home with the people who gave birth to me. I went from being taken care of by my nanny to being taken care of by my neighbours to being taken care of by my grandmother to taking care of myself. I don't ever recall being dependent on my mother for anything, from food, to clothes, to being dropped off and picked up from school, to attending my programs or even having a word of encouragement or a hug or kiss. Nothing at all. She was always busy, always organised, always distant, always in a bad mood. If I wanted to speak to her she made me feel like an imposition, something you definitely hate but can't be truthful about it. I was physically beaten and slapped pretty regularly for stuff that even as an adult I simply cannot take seriously, like not following instructions clearly, getting a B, gossiping with classmates or being clumsy. I guess it's because she was already the mother she wanted to be to her son before she had me, and I was an accident, an unwanted intruder in her perfect life. Not once has she combed my hair, helped me pick a dress or anything else. Everything I know about feminine fashion, hygiene and upkeep, I know because of other women and the internet. Because of my incessant needs from other women in my life they got tired of me too, and I don't blame them. Now I'm hyper independent to the point of avoiding contact with other people entirely. If I can't do something myself, I don't do it at all. Now sometimes she wants to pick a dress with me here and do my hair for me there, but I'm beyond irritated with it. Its like when I hear her speak the worms beneath my skin starts scrawling and I can't think straight. I'm not proud of it but I have wished her dead more times than I like to admit. I'm afraid that if I have a child this will get between me and my child. I will be distant and cold too. I probably won't hug or kiss them nearly enough, because I'm uncomfortable with touch. The only times my mother touched me was when she was slapping or beating me. If I have a daughter I'm afraid I'll fuck her up. I'm afraid that when my children grow up they'd hate me the same way I hate her. I'd rather have dogs.

  18. @delerium360

    Excessively reductionist and lacking nuance. Not to mention no substantial supporting evidence was cited. Nothing against it, but it's in the same realm as astrology

  20. @RyanK-100

    Psychology, like astrology, is filled with nice categories and plausible-sounding theories. "Research" reinforces the system. But it's full of shit. Not completely, but for the most part. So the far-left extremists' in the field say we have to love our children unconditionally? Christianity has been saying this for 2,000 years. Yet kids who were loved turn out like assholes and kids growing up in poverty with druggy parents turn out fine. There are so many inputs to the mind and so many forms of expression that these categories and mechanisms are just B.S. I don't believe any of it.

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