Today, let’s welcome back renowned brain expert and child psychologist, Dr. Daniel Amen!
We discuss mindful parenting, ways you can set goals with your children, and how to nurture their ability to think independently. Dr. Amen will help you better understand the hacks of raising well-rounded, resilient, and loving individuals in today’s fast-paced world.
In this interview, we discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:46 How Do You Set Goals For Your Kids?
04:34 How Do Children Become Free Thinkers?
10:19 Allow Your Child to Get Uncomfortable
13:01 The 20-Minute Practice to Bond with Your Child
17:46 What Does No Boundaries Lead To?
21:26 Why Do Children Shut Down?
24:54 How Do You Repair a Broken Bond?
28:00 Don’t Tell Your Child They Are Smart
31:04 How Can Your Child Solve a Problem?
33:07 You Are Making Your Kids Miserable
35:16 Attachments That Become Broken
37:37 I Don’t Understand My Child
41:54 What is a Loving Discipline?
44:51 My Child is Addicted to Social Media
46:25 What Does Social Do to the Brain?
48:35 Effects of Divorce on Kids
51:01 Teach Your Child to Self-Soothe
53:39 How to Love Your Child Right
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https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean
What is something you learned from Dr. Amen?
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Wow, this is great, sounds like a lot of stuff Dr Gabor Mate talks about, this confirms and summarizes perfectly all of the stuff I've been learning! Such great information! Will be returning to this often! Thank you!
Edit: What’s the effing book?
It’s amazing that we are still so bad at raising kids. I often wonder if all kids are messed up by parents and part of life is learning how to overcome whatever that is so you can learn to deal with a partner, your colleagues, friends, and eventually, your own children.
Thank you Dr your advise is so precious ❤️ thanks to you host 😊
What a gift – thank you for this conversation – it makes so much sense. I will watch this again and again – thank you both
Hi what’s the book called please
I loved this podcast. So many key takeaways and learnings. Thank you so much 💓
30:32
Don't do anything for anyone who doesn't treat you with respect
This can backfire quite badly.
The problem with applying this to your kids is – what if you aren't (yet/quite/fully) worthy of respect?
You then don't receive it.
You then don't give to your relationship with your kid.
You grow even more distanced.
This advice-piece only works where you're pretty fcking sure that you've been getting the parenting & human'ing thing thoroughly right, the entire time;
Which is not me.
Which is unlikely for many of us.
I love that Jay holds himself back & allows the guest to speak – even though Jay clearly always has awesome insights on the subject at-hand.
Jay's questions & thought-train are just so spot-on in this interview. 👍🏽👍🏽
After listening I realized how bad I was as a parent. I always thinking how can I connect with my son. Now I share this video to my friends and kids.
I had a wonderful childhood, but my mother was always very protective and wouldn't want me to make mistakes, shes still like this and I'm 34. I never had to work as a kid I just played all my childhood. In my twenties I was already messed up, I couldn't try to have a job because I was so afraid of failing at every single thing, I started workong at 28. I've been dealing with crippling anxiety due to lack of self esteem and confidence for over a decade, I couldn't yet figure it out what is causing this to me, now I wonder if my parents caused this without knowing. I have no idea how to change this situation.
Dang! How am I gonna approach my wife, who’s always on latest trends, I was right all along?
38:12
yes delay as long as you can, delay mobile phones as long as you can. I totally agree. My daughter would've been much much much better off without an iPhone. I really resent iPhones now
Very insightful
U destroy my career my confidence chal baag
One of the most amazing podcasts for parents. ❤
Mostly for all dads who don't listen to their wife's advice☺️🤪. Hopefully this video can impact them to understand the real meaning of 'connection' with their children by being PRESENT.🙏
The part about the blue hair, that was a ridiculous response from this guy. "They'll be weird and hang out with weird people" are you kidding?? What a jerk. If kids want to color their hair there's nothing weird about it. The act of calling kids "weird" because they have interests that are less popular, is mean
When that abusive mom in Utah was arrested last year for locking her kids up in chains in a basement, people weee quick to say there were warning signs to include not bringing g her daughter her lunch at school when she forgot it. Teachers reported her for that.
20 mins of quality time doing something the child loves. That's like finding child's love language and using that time that they are loved.
20 mins of no command, directions or judgement.
Listen and try to find the feeling behind it. Dont try to pour your wisdom on them.
If you look weird, you'll hang out with weird people.
Mentally strong kids don't believe everything they think.!
They should Always question their vulnerable thoughts.
If You blame other people for your life, then you become a victim and powerless.
Just be curious rather than being furious.!
If you have the expectation, they'll do it the first time, like catheline(child's name) you have to take the trash out within next 30 mins and if she doesn't the say sweetheart you can take the trash out now or face the consequences.
I love her, she knows it but if she's not disciplined has to face the consequences.
Stop threatening them and then not following through.!
Because you teach them, you've to tell them and bit angry 😡 in order for them to do what's you asked them to do.!
Earlier you start better for them.
If you're not spending time with kids their friends will take this place and they might not be right advice or right ear 👂🏾 for them.!
Being on social media, creates
Toxic level of self absorption.
Who's looking at me?
Who am I looking at.?
Who am I following?
Self absorbed people are never happy.!
Everybody's not doing it(being on social media)
I love you so much that I'm gonna protect you. All studies shows that saying this makes kids more vulnerable.
Continually pressing on the pleasure centres in your brain and more and more you press on them they become numb.
And you need more and more excitement, stimulation in order to fell anything.!
Divorce is not good but staying in a chronically unhappy, conflicted negative relationship is worst.!
Best thing you can do to your child is love your spouse.
If you are divorced, be really careful not to talk bad about spouse.
That child is half you and half them.!
So if you're talking bad about their mother,they feel bad about themselves.
It increases the cortisol level in their body and makes them more likely to be sick.
Focus on what you like in others.
It doesn't mean they've ADHD, it just may mean their nervous system is not fully myelinated.
When you're born, there's not much myeline in brain(white fatty substance).
Myelinated neurons work 10 to 100 times faster than unmyelinated one.!
When we're 2 month's old our occipital lobe in the back becomes myelinated and when at the age of 25 it finishes slowly till the frontal lobe.
And so expecting child to act like an adult is bad. But you can teach them the techniques of self soothing, like take a big breath and exhale as slowly as you can.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
As a parent have really learnt a lot. Thank you so much
I listen to these podcasts and then I open insta full of gentle parenting. Because it's such a pressure on parents to raise kids according to newest methods they switch to old methods and sadly there are no real institutions where punishing is totally banned and there is individual care givers for little ones. The whole internet I have searched. Now give your child a contra at home of not being punished for little things or live with the fact that they are going to have mental illnesses later in life one way or another is the choice. Gentle parenting/ parenting techniques is a big topic to be discussed more in layman s language.
Thank you so much! Within 5 minutes and i feel so good because he just confrims that im doing something right with my kids. And also showing me some stuff im not doing right. 👌👍
Thank you!!!! 🙏🏼 loved this conversation, helpful for my journey of learning and preparing for my future kids if I’m blessed to be able to have them one day 💓💓
I think what Sadhguru said and resonated with me was that you dont raise kids you raise cattle. I think are you a good life a happy life.. Have you found your mojo… Kids ( life) will find it's own way
I love that the underlying intention of all these discussions is healing & growth. It’s a great affirmation to contemplate as the conversations go on.
The best podcast
How does neglectful parenting reactions compare to hover parenting? Like parents that let older child look after younger siblings compare to hover parents that monitor all social interactions and skill building outside of parental supervision vary? I've had some horrible experiences in my past that lead to early exposure. Parenting is a necessary balance so Where's the line here? I personally thing chaperoned and removed is different than control and react. After all we wouldn't have traumatized children if parents didn't react and even worse problems if they didn't try to control.
What about kids who only have one parent raising them and don't visit the other parent
What about parents who want their children to do everything perfect or the opposite of that, nothing their children do is good enough? I have heard stories of grown ups who say " I hated it when my mom asked me to make my own bed and had to redo it for me." Or "my mom will make me vacuum the house and beat me with the vacuum cord calling me lazy." Both sound mentally abusive however I think it's very common in parents to do those things.
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