The Essence of Terrible Parenting | Stephanie Davies-Arai | EP 316

Maybe we parent in this way because we felt that our feelings weren’t recognized as children ourselves. How do we strike the balance?

Growing up, my parents fought in front of me a lot. Sometimes really terrible fights. I don’t think I ever once saw them reconcile. They had their fight, they went their separate ways to cool off, and then they never talked about it again. Now as an adult, especially being married, I don’t understand that when you have a fight with someone that the relationship can be repaired. I just assume that there will always be resentment in the relationship or that the relationship is over. In my head I know that relationships can be repaired, but emotionally I can’t comprehend how. My husband and I have been together nearly 4 years and have never gotten close to a fight, we don’t even really argue. We disagree, absolutely, but I’m so fearful of fighting and not being able to reconcile that I steer clear, and my husband is really good at helping me talk through our disagreements.

Thank you for this episode! Helpful to navigate parenting of teens those days.

50:00 There are lots of ways teenagers/young adults can be different. Like being a good Christian. Like getting married and having a family.

It's the how they resolve kindly

Affirm parenting

That suit is CRAZY🔥

I love how he describes "the idiot teachers" and their contribution to the "psychogenic epidemic"…such honesty is rare because everyone is afraid to speak these days! My daughter is entering adolescence and it's scary that our influence may start to wane at this point…goodness, what the lady was saying about teens feeling that they have to identify as non binary abd trans etc in order to appear non conformist/rebellious…this is so worrying!

Well… so wait. I need a smarter person than I to explain this. I am supposed to work on myself, and my mental health, without thinking about myself?

Black rifle coffee company is a far left, American hating, gun banning commie organization. As a veteran, get better sponsors.

Listening to Jordan Peterson's description of the changes experienced during a girl's adolescence brought tears to my 57 year old self. I can't imagine navigating this in today's society when it seems that transitioning to male seems to be the answer. We need to teach our girls that this too shall pass – as difficult as it is, it is a passage of life. Keep up the good work. Dr. Peterson.

Sadly, this is also happening in the workplace. The kids who were raised with feelings as the focus, cannot take any criticisms of their work in the workplace. One is not even allowed to point out the mistakes made, as no one is supposed to point their fingers at anyone, regardless of how a catastrophy that incompetent staff has done.

I'm only 44 minutes into this video so far and I LOVE it. I want to offer a thought I have constantly and it's rare that people talk about it. I think social media is feeding into this idea that we have to pick the best thing about our identity and be able to market it. For instance, gender. People make their gender their entire identity. They use it to base their decisions off of down to the most minute detail. "I'm a girl, so I have to focus on painting my nails". It's like, no. You paint your nails because you want to paint them. Your gender is PART of your identity, not the basis for everything. When you make your gender your priority in expressing yourself, you lose so many other things that make you who you are. Same thing goes for dudes who make working on cars their entire personality I said what I said.

Lol at the relinquish your black rifle to the state coffee company ad. For if you love left wing america.

this is one great discussion – thanks for that.

That last comment about what if the negative male and female traits came together, made me think of the Tower of Babel. Unity to achieve something so pointless and impossible under the guise of reaching for enlightenment “innate truth”. Where language is again being used to connect delusional people. Severing their ties would be the solution. But what would “confusing tongues” look like now

His tie and suit are just phenomenal 😊

The brain and all the organism of the child lives in a both female and male horomone soup. The results are even notable in pets. A male in a pack changes everything and makes females less anxious.

And when the useful stereotypes are over or out of fashion, what will you be?

Lots of great information here. I would disagree with the statement that your child is born with self-esteem, your child is born with a fallen nature that is selfish at the core. The fact that they seek boundaries is because they and all of us humans, need to fight that fallen nature and seek Spiritual renewal through repentance and following Jesus Christ. A miracle happens in your heart and Spirit when you do this as you are reconciled to your true Father.

Stop reading parenting books, most of it nowadays are absolute rubbish that will hurt your family rather than help. Read the Words of God, King James preferred and if you're not sure you understand, go and read the original Greek or Hebrew, Pray and ask God to give you knowledge and understanding and surround yourself with people who seek the Truth daily!

29:28. Bingo

I can detail what creates the "positive reinforcement merely by saying positive words merely produces narcissists" effect:
If you tell someone that they're great but that doesn't work out in real life, the logical conclusion is that you're a liar. That, again, creates children who trust nobody, as they've not shown themselves to be, and who try to make it through life on their own. That's not a simple task when we live in such a complex world, so further bitterness is added on top.
There's an old saying about trying to lift yourself up by your bootstrap, commenting how impossible it is to take hold of the loops at the back of your boots and lifting yourself up in the air by help of that, and it's a comment on how difficult it is to make a career entirely on your own. Your really need to stand on the shoulders of giants in order to get anywhere high.

1:18:50 I have, and will continue to maintain that bad parenting can make people exhibit the characteristics of say, ADHD, or autism, or transgenderism. This isn't to say these conditions don't exist, only that I could make a kid appear as though they had a condition through my action or inaction. I've had kids as young as kindergarten express to me that they are unable to control themselves because of their condition. That immediately resolves them of any responsibility. What kind of monsters do that to a child?

Fantastic conversation. I agree 100% that the negative side of both men and women has taken control of the power and we are in deep trouble because of it.