The end of a romantic relationship generally does not come out of nowhere, but indicates one or two years before the rupture. As the results of a psychological study have demonstrated, the terminal stage of a relationship consists of two phases. First, there is a gradual decrease in the satisfaction of the relationship, reaching a transition point one or two years before the dissolution of the relationship. “From this point of transition onwards, there is a rapid deterioration in the satisfaction of relationships. The couples in question then move towards separation,” said Professor Janina Bühler of the Institute of Psychology of the University of Johannes Gutenberg Mainz (JGU). He conducted the corresponding research in collaboration with Professor Ulrich Orth at the University of Bern. His article was recently published in the Personality and Social Psychology Magazine.
Analysis based on national studies in Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom and the Netherlands
It is a common fact that satisfaction in a romantic relationship decreases over time. This reduction in satisfaction is particularly marked in the first years of a relationship, a low distinctive point is often reached after a period of ten years. Instead of considering the processes that occur over time, from a romantic relationship, Janina Bühler and Ulrich Orth decided to observe the time to provide relations for their investigation.
With this in sight, they used data from four representative studies carried out in Germany, Australia, the United Kingdom and the Netherlands. All these countries are strange, that is, western, educated, industrialized, educated, rich, democratic and their individuals are free, by law, to decide on their relationship. For each of the four data sets that cover a total of 11,295 individuals, there was a control group approximately the same size that consisted of couples that had not separated. Surveys in the four countries were carried out for different periods of time, ranging from 12 to 21 years. In the case of Germany, the researchers used the data of the intimate relationship panel and family dynamics (Emparefam), a multidisciplinary longitudinal study. In all countries, subjects were asked to specify how satisfied they were right with their existing romantic relationship.
Using the available data, Bühler and Orth evaluated the extent to which the satisfaction with the relationship was developed in the light of its subsequent separation. “To better understand dissolution relations, we examine them from the point of view of the time. To do this, we apply a concept that is generally used in other fields of psychology,” said Janina Bühler. According to data from the four studies of national representatives, researchers were able to determine that relationships can undergo what is known as terminal decrease. This decrease in relationship satisfaction occurs in two phases. The initial preterminal phase, which may have a duration of several years, is characterized by a lower decrease in satisfaction. However, this is followed by a transition or turning point from which there is an accelerated decrease in satisfaction. The terminal phase of a relationship after this transition point lasts from 7 to 28 months, from one to two years on average. “Once this terminal phase is reached, the relationship is condemned to reach an end. This is evident for the fact that only individuals in the separation group go through this terminal phase, not in the control group,” Bühler explained.
The partners evaluate the terminal phase of a relationship differently
At the same time, the two partners do not experience the transition phase in the same way. The partner that begins the separation has already been dissatisfied with the relationship at an earlier. For the recipient of the separation, the transition point arrives relatively shortly before the real separation. They experience a very rapid decrease in relationship satisfaction.
“The partners pass through several phases. They usually do not separate from one day to the next, and the way in which these phases impact the two partners,” Bühler added. In many cases, couples seek help too late, that is, when the transition point has already been reached. “Therefore, it is important to be aware of these relationship patterns. Start measures in the pretermal phase of a relationship, that is, before it begins to go down quickly, it can be more effective and even contribute to preserving the relationship,” concluded Bühler, who also works as a combination therapist.