R., 18, is an incoming college freshman from Colorado who got a deep neck-lift and rhinoplasty.
Growing up, I had a really unhealthy relationship with my body. I had access to the internet at a really young age, which probably isn’t great, but it definitely made me who I am now. I would see all these influencer girls on Instagram with cute little noses and think, God, I want that.
When I was 10, I moved from St. Louis to Aspen, Colo., to ski: I’m a competitive ski racer. In eighth grade, I remember noticing that I didn’t have a jawline. It looked like my neck and face were all the same. When I would go to my workouts, I would always wear my hair down, because I didn’t like my side profile being exposed or caught on camera.
During a deep neck-lift, surgeons typically make incisions under the chin around the ears to remove muscle, fat and, in some cases, salivary glands.
A couple of years ago, I was in the car with my dad, and I said, “I can’t believe I don’t have a jawline.” Every dad is going to say his daughter is beautiful. But after a while, he reached a point where he was like: “I see that you’re really insecure about it. We have the money and the resources to do something about it.” So we got in touch with a surgeon, who suggested a deep neck-lift and a rhinoplasty. He told me they can make a big difference in someone’s side profile.
At first, my mom was so mad. She has had a face-lift, so she was OK with me getting the procedure, but she wanted me to wait until I was older. I knew I was young, but it didn’t feel that crazy to do something that would make me feel good about myself. I wanted to start college feeling confident and like the best version of myself.
“Aspen is weird,” R. says. “If I tell people that I got a nose job and a neck lift, they’re like, ‘Of course.’”
Now, I’m 13 days post-op. Only one of my friends has been negative about it. Before the surgery, he said, “It’s weird to me that you’d do this, because you’re someone who preaches embracing who you are.” The confusing thing is that he’s very “black pill,” which is a trend that says you need to be beautiful in order to get a job or find a soul mate. I hate black pill, because it’s pushing the narrative that hurt me as a little girl: that looks are the only things that matter.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m contributing to that narrative by getting this procedure. But I looked in the mirror after my surgery, and I thought, Wow, this feels like the real me. It sucks that I have to change a part of me to truly like myself. But the surgery has already made me feel more confident. I’ve always wanted to be able to wear my hair up. Now I can do that. I literally just spent hours teaching myself how to French-braid my hair.
R. learned to braid her hair after her procedure gave her confidence in showing her jawline.