I would try saying something along the lines of, "Whether you end up liking or disliking the food, it doesn't help or hurt my feelings because it's about learning what you like. So you're allowed to feel how you feel about the food." Something like that.
Moment you said that, it triggered a huge memory in me; yes, 1000x times yes. I remember hating being wrong, especially as the oldest kid, I NEEDED to be right about everything, I believed it was all I had. Mind you, I didn't grow up with gentle parenting, and was parentified at a young age, so that probably had something to do with it. That said though, the desire to be right and not fuck up is INSANELY strong as a kid
I was forced to eat my “no thank you bite” of green beans and instead of that I would put them under the table and when dinner was done I would sweep, mom never knew!😂
God i was the same, I didn't want to eat fish as a kid bc I liked fish and one day my family tricked me into eating fish when I was around 9 or 10 and honestly? I still refuse to eat fish to this day bc of the fact that they tricked me. Let them not like food or do what i do and make a deal where if they try it and dont like it they never have to eat it again but if they try it and do like it, well, more food all around!
This is an ongoing issue for me, im in my 20s, and its all because my family makes a big deal about food opinions. If i say i dont like something, the response is "you dont like it yet" and if i do change my mind on a food theyre like "see what did i tell you?" They mean well, especially when i was younger, but its always felt belittling of my opinions on food. Especially now that im an adult. I think your plan of presenting the food again without saying anything is a good plan
My son is a sensitive eater. He has sensory issues and because of his seizures has quite a sensitive smell (and taste as a result). So he has gotten into the habit of saying – he doesn't like it – for all food. His younger brother then got on board and tried to convince him to just try the food because he liked it and it was good. So maybe the info coming from someone more his age just hits differently.
I used to do this! It was like pulling teeth to get me to try something new, and when I finally did crack and try it, I often said I didn't like it or said "it's not the best thing/it's tolerable" out of pure pride.
I think you could emphasise the “trying” part as being the positive, not the “liking” part. Like, whether the kid likes it or not is neutral, but they tried something knew and discovered how it tastes and that’s a success!
When my son was about 3 or 4 we went to this seafood buffet. We had tried to get him to try scallops many times before and it just wasn't happening, so this night we lied to him and told him they were chicken nuggets… he sat there and downed about a pound of them, the entire time exclaiming they were "the best chicken nuggets in the world" 😂 Were we right in doing this, idk, but afterwards he was more game to trying new foods; and now at 28, he will try anything once and is far more adventurous with food than either me or his dad/my husband.
For me, it's because I'm autistic and have sensory issues with food. I can usually tell what I would and wouldn't like, but I do try to ask for more details about taste and texture from someone who has tried it. I do try to retry things every few years, just in case my taste has changed. (I could tell as a kid too btw. I usually knew what I couldn't stand.)
It's always meant kindly or jokingly but "See! I KNEW you'd like it! You just have to listen to me!" or any variation of that same sentiment can almost come across as ridicule to some people/kids. Because then that person might feel the need to suppress their own feelings/instincts to appease someone else to avoid percieved humiliation, no matter how slight that level may be. <3
On top of not wanting to be wrong, even if I did like it, there was no way in hell I was gonna let my approval let my family take away my safe foods because obviously other foods are safe now if I don't absolutely hate them.
People (parents included) need to learn to accept the word NO. Kids are human beings, not toys. If a kid doesn't want to try a new food, they shouldn't be socially pressured to try it.
While I am not a parent, I know parenting is an ever evolving skill that’s challenges and adventures have no bounds. Which make it the most incredible journey humans go on.
So when my mum and dad cooked this beef chicken thing I said NO DON'T COOK IT I HATE IT I DON'T LIKE BEEF but when I tried it I wanted more but it was gone and I was tramatized
yep, your kid is right! did the same thing when i was younger. it’s sometimes plain and simple hard to admit you’re wrong, which i imagine is the case for your kids. in my case, it was especially hard when i grew up with parents who made me feel bad for being wrong, did the “told you so” thing, or even just told me that i had to do what they wanted me to do because they “said so”. sometimes saying i didn’t like something was the only way to give myself the illusion of choice. even then… doesn’t work much when the “kids in africa” argument comes out. 🙃
I've always been a picky eater, and until recently I didn't notice the similarities in what I didn't like. This made it so I couldn't really predict what I wouldn't like, so I would say no to new foods just in case. I was also the type of kid that would choose to not eat to avoid eating something I didn't like (and I'm still like that tbh, I can just make myself food now)
Every adult in my life was obsessed with making me try new foods, the more they tried the more I got frustrated and annoyed at them not taking no for an answer. I had to be firm and say I would not like it, even if I might've, bc I was tired of them trying to make me like all the food they liked
They got less insistent as I got older, but old habits die hard. I still have my meals I know I like, at least one from each common restaurant around here, and rarely order anything else
The pattern to what I dislike, by the way, is for every food there's a certain texture and temperature I want it to be at. For example, potatoes have to be hot, fried, and crunchy like shoestring fries. This also means that sauces are usually out of the question for sandwiches or as dips, but required for spaghetti and similar. Something that started recently, is the required texture for burgers, I need to use toast for them otherwise it's wrong and I can't eat it. No specific texture is wrong, but I can't stand certain textures for certain foods
I was allowed to sip my parents wine and beer as a kid. My dad always said I wouldn't like his beer and just to prove him wrong I would say I liked it. Sometimes I did like it and sometimes I was just being a little shit but over time I did start to like the ones I originaly didn't. 😅
When my niece was 4, she threw a huge temper tantrum at a family dinner because she "hated grapes". A few hours later, after we had gone into the living room to play games, my dad walked into the kitchen and caught her shoveling grapes into her mouth. She is 26 now, and we still laugh about it.
I definitely did that to, personally I’d say, “if you don’t want it but you like it you don’t have to have it but if you like it don’t say you don’t like it bc that means you like something and won’t get it again, I know you don’t want to be wrong but if you’re honest Ik how to help you” my mom said it to me and it stopped me from lying abt it 😅
You could say "Even if you don't like it today ya might like it tomarow, but if ya don't try it now you'll never know. tasts change sometimes!" 🙂 I was expected to know exaclty what I liked as a kid. Sometimes I still won't share opions in case I change my mind bc I worry someone will dout my new opions. "are you sure? The other time you said-" Parents tend to expect growing/ learing to be a straight line, never qwesting if they actually want something after a choice is made. They eather don't want to admit there wrong or they don't want to try new things. I mean look at all the coments!!! I'm wish more people listened to kids, and saw ur vids!❤
Works unless your kids are sensory sensitive. I personally would tell my parents i don't like a food bc it would somehow send me into sensory overload. But my parents still had the philosophy of "you eat what we give you or starve" so now i have eating issues and trauma bc i did starve as a kid
I think you can also use fomo, and say 'more for me!' Even just slowly introducing a food by having it around for a few meals w/o making them eat it can help decrease anxiety and increase curiosity.
when we had little kids around we did actively encourage them to try new foods but we also had a lot of success just putting new foods on the plate and not saying anything about it at all. we'd answer questions and they never had to eat anything. usually after a few times of it being there they'd just eat it.
My little cousin told me & her mom that she didn't like avocado (we were putting a salad together). I just said "That's a lie. You devoured my avocado chips two days ago & you never let me or your mom have a whole avocado to ourselves." Turns out her friends were all saying that none of them like green vegetables, so of course this means that the kid who always ate all her veggies is suddenly greenphobic. She ate her avocado after I shoved a slice in her mouth; she just suddenly remembered "Hey! I like this stuff."
This reminds me, when I was younger, I would cry for some dumb reason. For example, “I wanna go get food.” (Cry, cry, cry) “We are.” My mom replies. I will keep crying because I’m too embarrassed to stop lol
Yup true but it was more with tv shows that I told my siblings where lame and I didn’t want to watch it bc it was weird… I actually watched it and I loved it and I still said I didn’t liked to watch it but I was watching it at the corner of the room to still watch it but my siblings didn’t now
That was stupid of me I could of just sat on the couch and watch with them but I didn’t want to be wrong
There were so many foods I avoided as a kid and realize part of it was sensory issues, but also that I am allergic to a lot of things and never got tested cause my symptoms were still mild enough back then that they just cause mild discomfort… 😅
My deal is that you never have to try anything on your plate, but I don't want to hear "I don't like that," "that looks yucky," or anything of the sort unprompted. Just leave it alone unless someone asks you about it, It's impolite to jump immediately into telling someone what you dislike about their cooking.
this is a me problem that definitely needs to get into the hands of a professional, but i don't like to try new things or thing i didn't like before in front of family, because it always elicits reactions that put me on a spotlight and that makes me super uncomfortable. so that could be the problem, just the anxiety that this change could be turned into a big thing.
UNRELATED to the topic but that shirt is so cool????
I would try saying something along the lines of, "Whether you end up liking or disliking the food, it doesn't help or hurt my feelings because it's about learning what you like. So you're allowed to feel how you feel about the food." Something like that.
anyone else feel like they need to smoke some weed right
I FREAKING LOVE THAT RAMONES/WIGGLES SHIRT!!! I need it!❤️❤️
Moment you said that, it triggered a huge memory in me; yes, 1000x times yes. I remember hating being wrong, especially as the oldest kid, I NEEDED to be right about everything, I believed it was all I had. Mind you, I didn't grow up with gentle parenting, and was parentified at a young age, so that probably had something to do with it. That said though, the desire to be right and not fuck up is INSANELY strong as a kid
We need an update!!
I was forced to eat my “no thank you bite” of green beans and instead of that I would put them under the table and when dinner was done I would sweep, mom never knew!😂
My little brother 100% does this one day he’ll say he hates the food then we’ll find him eating the leftovers 😂
God i was the same, I didn't want to eat fish as a kid bc I liked fish and one day my family tricked me into eating fish when I was around 9 or 10 and honestly? I still refuse to eat fish to this day bc of the fact that they tricked me. Let them not like food or do what i do and make a deal where if they try it and dont like it they never have to eat it again but if they try it and do like it, well, more food all around!
Just ask instead, are you willing to eat it?
This is an ongoing issue for me, im in my 20s, and its all because my family makes a big deal about food opinions. If i say i dont like something, the response is "you dont like it yet" and if i do change my mind on a food theyre like "see what did i tell you?" They mean well, especially when i was younger, but its always felt belittling of my opinions on food. Especially now that im an adult. I think your plan of presenting the food again without saying anything is a good plan
<3
My son is a sensitive eater. He has sensory issues and because of his seizures has quite a sensitive smell (and taste as a result). So he has gotten into the habit of saying – he doesn't like it – for all food. His younger brother then got on board and tried to convince him to just try the food because he liked it and it was good. So maybe the info coming from someone more his age just hits differently.
I used to do this! It was like pulling teeth to get me to try something new, and when I finally did crack and try it, I often said I didn't like it or said "it's not the best thing/it's tolerable" out of pure pride.
I think you could emphasise the “trying” part as being the positive, not the “liking” part. Like, whether the kid likes it or not is neutral, but they tried something knew and discovered how it tastes and that’s a success!
When my son was about 3 or 4 we went to this seafood buffet. We had tried to get him to try scallops many times before and it just wasn't happening, so this night we lied to him and told him they were chicken nuggets… he sat there and downed about a pound of them, the entire time exclaiming they were "the best chicken nuggets in the world" 😂
Were we right in doing this, idk, but afterwards he was more game to trying new foods; and now at 28, he will try anything once and is far more adventurous with food than either me or his dad/my husband.
Smart
me at twelve still doing that with theme park rides, movies, and, of course, occasionally food
For me, it's because I'm autistic and have sensory issues with food. I can usually tell what I would and wouldn't like, but I do try to ask for more details about taste and texture from someone who has tried it. I do try to retry things every few years, just in case my taste has changed. (I could tell as a kid too btw. I usually knew what I couldn't stand.)
It's always meant kindly or jokingly but "See! I KNEW you'd like it! You just have to listen to me!"
or any variation of that same sentiment can almost come across as ridicule to some people/kids.
Because then that person might feel the need to suppress their own feelings/instincts to appease someone else to avoid percieved humiliation, no matter how slight that level may be. <3
On top of not wanting to be wrong, even if I did like it, there was no way in hell I was gonna let my approval let my family take away my safe foods because obviously other foods are safe now if I don't absolutely hate them.
People (parents included) need to learn to accept the word NO. Kids are human beings, not toys. If a kid doesn't want to try a new food, they shouldn't be socially pressured to try it.
I’m 16 and I still do this lol (not a lot tho, bcus I have an eating disorder so if I do eat I mostly eat foods that don’t make me feel sick)
Why did I get the most excited when I saw Tori's shirt?
While I am not a parent, I know parenting is an ever evolving skill that’s challenges and adventures have no bounds. Which make it the most incredible journey humans go on.
So when my mum and dad cooked this beef chicken thing I said NO DON'T COOK IT I HATE IT I DON'T LIKE BEEF but when I tried it I wanted more but it was gone and I was tramatized
Love the wiggles top I loved them as a kid my son loves them now xx
yep, your kid is right! did the same thing when i was younger. it’s sometimes plain and simple hard to admit you’re wrong, which i imagine is the case for your kids.
in my case, it was especially hard when i grew up with parents who made me feel bad for being wrong, did the “told you so” thing, or even just told me that i had to do what they wanted me to do because they “said so”. sometimes saying i didn’t like something was the only way to give myself the illusion of choice. even then… doesn’t work much when the “kids in africa” argument comes out. 🙃
I've always been a picky eater, and until recently I didn't notice the similarities in what I didn't like. This made it so I couldn't really predict what I wouldn't like, so I would say no to new foods just in case. I was also the type of kid that would choose to not eat to avoid eating something I didn't like (and I'm still like that tbh, I can just make myself food now)
Every adult in my life was obsessed with making me try new foods, the more they tried the more I got frustrated and annoyed at them not taking no for an answer. I had to be firm and say I would not like it, even if I might've, bc I was tired of them trying to make me like all the food they liked
They got less insistent as I got older, but old habits die hard. I still have my meals I know I like, at least one from each common restaurant around here, and rarely order anything else
The pattern to what I dislike, by the way, is for every food there's a certain texture and temperature I want it to be at. For example, potatoes have to be hot, fried, and crunchy like shoestring fries. This also means that sauces are usually out of the question for sandwiches or as dips, but required for spaghetti and similar. Something that started recently, is the required texture for burgers, I need to use toast for them otherwise it's wrong and I can't eat it. No specific texture is wrong, but I can't stand certain textures for certain foods
I was allowed to sip my parents wine and beer as a kid. My dad always said I wouldn't like his beer and just to prove him wrong I would say I liked it. Sometimes I did like it and sometimes I was just being a little shit but over time I did start to like the ones I originaly didn't. 😅
When my niece was 4, she threw a huge temper tantrum at a family dinner because she "hated grapes". A few hours later, after we had gone into the living room to play games, my dad walked into the kitchen and caught her shoveling grapes into her mouth. She is 26 now, and we still laugh about it.
I definitely did that to, personally I’d say, “if you don’t want it but you like it you don’t have to have it but if you like it don’t say you don’t like it bc that means you like something and won’t get it again, I know you don’t want to be wrong but if you’re honest Ik how to help you” my mom said it to me and it stopped me from lying abt it 😅
You could say "Even if you don't like it today ya might like it tomarow, but if ya don't try it now you'll never know. tasts change sometimes!" 🙂
I was expected to know exaclty what I liked as a kid. Sometimes I still won't share opions in case I change my mind bc I worry someone will dout my new opions. "are you sure? The other time you said-"
Parents tend to expect growing/ learing to be a straight line, never qwesting if they actually want something after a choice is made. They eather don't want to admit there wrong or they don't want to try new things. I mean look at all the coments!!!
I'm wish more people listened to kids, and saw ur vids!❤
Works unless your kids are sensory sensitive. I personally would tell my parents i don't like a food bc it would somehow send me into sensory overload. But my parents still had the philosophy of "you eat what we give you or starve" so now i have eating issues and trauma bc i did starve as a kid
I think you can also use fomo, and say 'more for me!'
Even just slowly introducing a food by having it around for a few meals w/o making them eat it can help decrease anxiety and increase curiosity.
valid take but like soooooo many people don't believe kids already when they say they don't like something and that's not it
yes, this is the ultimate strategy. i as a kid sometimes did y
this but then still ate the food i claimed to be yaky.
when we had little kids around we did actively encourage them to try new foods but we also had a lot of success just putting new foods on the plate and not saying anything about it at all. we'd answer questions and they never had to eat anything. usually after a few times of it being there they'd just eat it.
My little cousin told me & her mom that she didn't like avocado (we were putting a salad together). I just said "That's a lie. You devoured my avocado chips two days ago & you never let me or your mom have a whole avocado to ourselves." Turns out her friends were all saying that none of them like green vegetables, so of course this means that the kid who always ate all her veggies is suddenly greenphobic. She ate her avocado after I shoved a slice in her mouth; she just suddenly remembered "Hey! I like this stuff."
This reminds me, when I was younger, I would cry for some dumb reason. For example, “I wanna go get food.” (Cry, cry, cry) “We are.” My mom replies. I will keep crying because I’m too embarrassed to stop lol
Other kids are definitely like that. My little sister does that a lot and I did it when I was little
I love this channel!
Yup true but it was more with tv shows that I told my siblings where lame and I didn’t want to watch it bc it was weird… I actually watched it and I loved it and I still said I didn’t liked to watch it but I was watching it at the corner of the room to still watch it but my siblings didn’t now
That was stupid of me I could of just sat on the couch and watch with them but I didn’t want to be wrong
There were so many foods I avoided as a kid and realize part of it was sensory issues, but also that I am allergic to a lot of things and never got tested cause my symptoms were still mild enough back then that they just cause mild discomfort… 😅
I think kids don't wanna be wrong since their parents will often laugh about them and say "see, I told you 😂" that often discourages kidss
My deal is that you never have to try anything on your plate, but I don't want to hear "I don't like that," "that looks yucky," or anything of the sort unprompted. Just leave it alone unless someone asks you about it, It's impolite to jump immediately into telling someone what you dislike about their cooking.
Definitely update us if she gives some words of wisdom (your kiddos are amazing role models already! you're doing amazing) ❤❤❤
this is a me problem that definitely needs to get into the hands of a professional, but i don't like to try new things or thing i didn't like before in front of family, because it always elicits reactions that put me on a spotlight and that makes me super uncomfortable. so that could be the problem, just the anxiety that this change could be turned into a big thing.
What a smart child!!
Comments are closed.