Alcohol often goes hand in hand with socializing. There’s the tailgate before the big game. holiday parties A champagne toast at a wedding. A mimosa at brunch with friends.
But there are many reasons why you might not drink, at least not this time. Or maybe ever.
Perhaps you are pregnant or need to avoid alcohol for other health reasons. Or you are the designated driver. Or you just don’t like how alcohol makes you feel.
So if you want to join in the fun but skip the drinks, ask yourself this question: What am I looking to get out of the celebration?
Most likely, it’s not really about the alcohol.
“It’s probably the social connection, the community, the esteem that it might bring,” says Eric Beeson, PhD, associate clinical professor at The Family Institute at Northwestern University in Illinois. “Does alcohol make that better? Probably not.”
So go for it. Here are ideas.
Have you heard of sober bars? They offer full menus of non-alcoholic drinks. That makes it pretty easy to celebrate at a non-alcoholic bar. And they’re popping up all over the United States, Beeson says.
Or you can pick up something non-alcoholic on the way to a party or event. You will be surprised by all the options.
Mocktails are an easy option “for people who want to be ‘seriously curious’ or who want to cut back on alcohol,” says Melissa Cyders, PhD, a professor of psychology at Indiana University-Purdue University in Indianapolis ( IUPUI). “The key is that it has to be something you enjoy drinking.”
You could go for a soft drink or a virgin daiquiri. But why not spice things up with something unique?
Beeson likes to challenge bartenders to make the most creative soft drink they can think of.
“When they say things like: What is your flavor profile? That’s when I know that this is a place that I can dig in and celebrate together with my friends,” she says.
Use high-quality ingredients. They’re usually not the pre-made sugary stuff, Cyders notes.
Everyone is different. That makes it hard to identify the “best” thing to do. But try something that uses your hands, like riding a bike or playing tennis.
Board games are another good option. “Something where you’re not just standing there talking, but you’re engaged in an activity,” says Cyders.
Or pick something you can’t (and shouldn’t) do while drinking.
For example, Beeson says that he went whitewater rafting for a bachelor party. “It’s probably best to stay sober when you’re navigating a river that can kill you.”
Are you the party planner? Be creative!
You could arrange massages or “maybe something more competitive, like paintball or a round of golf,” says Joseph Volpicelli, MD, PhD, an addiction specialist and founder of the Volpicelli Center.
Or your group could:
- Jump in an indoor trampoline park.
- Go to a rock climbing gym.
- Try indoor skydiving.
- Take a hike that ends with stargazing.
People often get longer lasting satisfaction from making things rather than buying them, says happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirksy, PhD, distinguished professor and vice chair of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.
Most celebrations, with or without alcohol, are already experiences, Lyubomirsky says. “You can go out to dinner or a party, travel or go to a spa with friends.”
Here are some of her other tips on how to celebrate while boosting your well-being:
- Spend time with others. Choose an activity that helps strengthen your relationships. “Anything you can do to connect with other people,” says Lyubomirksy.
- Accept a challenge. Do something that helps you grow as a person. Or just try something new and exciting. “Go learn to skydive,” she says.
- Pay it later. This might not be something you normally think of when it comes to a celebration. But we tend to feel good about ourselves when we give back to society or do “an act of kindness.” So if you’re socializing, reach out to someone who doesn’t feel included. Or buy them a soft drink too.
Do you drink to feel more relaxed? Spending time in nature can relieve stress. So maybe take your celebration outside. You could:
- Meet your friends in a park.
- Take a group hike to a scenic overlook.
- Make mocktails for a backyard gathering.
Bonus points if you pick something that gets you and your friends moving. Research backs up what you already know from experience: Being active outside can stimulate your mind and body.
You don’t want sugar to be your only reward. But it’s okay to treat yourself on a special occasion.
Find a new dessert place in your area. Or visit an old favorite.
You could also:
- Toast to a new job with smoothies.
- Celebrate your birthday with an ice cream bar.
- Combine fruits with a chocolate fountain at your wedding.
- Have s’mores after dinner if there’s a bonfire nearby.
It can be hard to celebrate without alcohol if everyone around you is drinking. So line up the support.
“If you’re going to a setting and you intend not to drink that night, tell a friend who can bring you that soft drink or help you choose an activity that’s incompatible with drinking,” says Cyders.
They can help you be confident in your non-alcoholic choice and have a good time.
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