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What Is The Role Of Grandparents



I have a lot of people coming to me, complaining about how their parents – the grandparents of the kids – are handling simple …

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24 thoughts on “What Is The Role Of Grandparents”

  1. Kara A

    Those are typically narcissistic parents overstepping their boundaries in their adult child's life. My narc mother is abusive to me and not allowed to be near my son anymore so I can break the cycle. She doesn't get why but she's a narc so she'll never get it.

  2. June Kessler

    I took in around half of my grandkids at one time or another(and there are many of them!) to keep them out of foster care, taking on the roll of mother again and again. It was difficult, but I wouldn't have done it any other way. They still see me as grandparent and parent. Now that they are grown and starting to have their own kids, I think the same rules apply. I try not to be one of those 'interfering mother (in law) types and give them their space. It's pretty awesome to not only get to have relationships with your kids and grandkids, but also your great grandkids!

  3. truckindawg1

    In our case our son did not know what he was doing therefore did not properly care for his daughter and in fact what abusive and neglectful. He was certainly not raised to be that way but it is what it is. Now, we have adopted our granddaughter so we are both parents and grandparents. In some ways it is easier than raising our son and another way it is harder. Trying to keep up with what is popular with a 13-year-old girl as grandparents and parents it’s not an easy thing to do LOL. You got to consider making a video for grandparents who are also parents. Apparently there are a hell of a lot of us in this country. Thanks for this great video.

  4. YaGirl Cherry

    This is spot on. I also felt very validated in the way I have felt as a mother. I have an in law who did all the “donts” you spoke about here. Yet I was the bad guy. Thank you for your work❤️

  5. Yol2000

    Pray for us. We are grandparents who helped raise our 11 year old granddaughter. We sort of took the role of the absent father. Now the mom wont let us see her because we brought up the fact that her boyfriend bullies our granddaughter. She wants to see us and considers us like second parents.

  7. Liliana’s Kitchen

    My daughter as a child was allergic to lactose. I always reminded my mother-in-law not to give her milk or anything made with milk or eggs. Well, my daughter would tell me she had milk at Grammies house and I dealt with her throwing up most of that night. … and please don’t get me started on coffee. She even admitted to doing that several times knowing how I felt about it. Believe it or not, giving her a little bit of coffee (with milk in it) was also given to her by my own mother. Then came the day I picked up my daughter up to find out my mother cut her hair! She seriously didn’t see what was so bad about doing that without my permission. God gave me strength to get through those years with both grand-mothers. I’m not a grandma yet, but thanks for this video. I know I’m not perfect either.

  9. Nimrod nachmias

    This is a great video. I'm on the child side though. It would be great if you make a video for parents like me that deal with over pushy and compulsive grandparents that don't respect us as new parents. How do you deal with grandparents that just won't listen?

  10. Kassandra B

    You could not have said it better. This is exactly what my mom needs to hear. If she did these things, I would allow her to be a part of my daughter's life but instead, all she does is make me feel awful and tell me how I am wrong in every aspect of my life and how terrible I am for not letting her see my daughter. She only ever wants something if it benefits her and her image. My husband is helping me to set up boundaries with her because we don't need her toxicity. She can call me when she's willing to set aside our differences and trust in me as a parent and simply love us and not undermine us. Because even though I disagree with most everything she says and does these days, I don't shove it down her throat that I think that. I have always tried to love her because she is my mom and maybe I would want to visit her more and have my daughter have a relationship with her if she could just be a mom and a grandparent and love and support us. I don't know how I will get this message to her. Simply sending this video or even posting it on social media for her to see would probably set off like a raging wildfire. She will automatically become defensive and try to find some way to tell me I'm wrong and what she thinks a grandparent's job is which according to her it is to spoil them and let them do everything that the parents won't. Thank you for this informative video. I was scared to watch it but as I watched it, it only solidified exactly what I thought which was comforting to learn.

  13. Geenine44

    I’m a Nannie, my daughter became a parent at 17. Talk about a grey area when there is two kids to look out for. Safety and domestic abuse became a huge challenge thanks to the father after she left home. Talk about having to find the right balance between my role as her Mum even though she was still a kid developmentally. She’s 23 now and an amazing Mumma. My grandson is a joy. But alas they still need me to be alert when she can still be too forgiving with the father still.

  15. Steve

    I stumbled across your videos and have watched a lot of them now. You have a fantastic way of putting your points across and I'm really enjoying the tips! keep up the good work Dr Paul.

  19. Matthew Robert

    Had a question what if you have kids and work monday-friday 9am to 6pm grandparents retired they say its too much to watch your new born they say they just wanna live their life and them living their life is them staying out at the bar all day everyday How do you deal with that situation Because I've been looking and looking and can't find anything Must be a rare situation

  20. Anna Movsesyan

    I have a set of in-laws who are doing all the wrong things that you've mentioned and I'm at my wit's end with them. Whenever I so much as try to speak to them about this, they throw a tentrum, clam mini heart attacks and depression and the relationship is cut off untill I accept to apologize and pretend either it was all my fault or nothing ever happend. Yesterday my father in law litterally threatend to kill me (said it twice) if I ever dare to punish my kid again( he had just learnd that I got rid of his pokemon cards as punishment because he was continually forgetting to bring home his homework and the cards were the main source of distraction for him at school). I lost my temper at that one and told him that he was never to interfere again with my parenting/disciplining my children. Then he went into his heart attack/depression mode for the entire night and clamis he did not threaten me.
    At this point I'd just rather give up on the relationship, but I care too much for the feelings of my husband and my son to do that.. any practical advice will be much appreciated.

  21. 4 Dub

    Thank you so much! My daughters gramma came over to pick her up and she spit in gramma face, up to this point i never saw her spit at any1. Gramma baby talks to her and says "thats not nice" but still coddles her. Im just watching from afar to see how they both react. My 30 month old daughter proceeds to spit in her face again and at this point i step in and we both sit on the ground for timeout while i explain the "respect for our elders speach" to her again. Gramma literally stands up and walk out without saying a word. She hates that we "undermine" her. This video helped me understand things from a grandparents side so i can talk to her about how she is our support not the authority.

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