The Impact of Toxic Positivity: A Deeper Look
Embracing Reality Beyond Toxic Positivity
When faced with challenges like health issues or personal struggles, society often pushes individuals to maintain a relentlessly positive outlook. While optimism has its benefits, toxic positivity can do more harm than good by invalidating genuine emotions and suppressing necessary discussions.
As psychotherapist Whitney Goodman aptly puts it, toxic positivity creates a “social contract” where individuals feel pressured to exude happiness at all times, regardless of the underlying circumstances. This unrealistic expectation can lead to emotional suppression and denial of valid feelings.
The Pitfalls of Constant Positivity
Constantly striving for positivity can have detrimental effects on mental and emotional well-being. Kimberly Applewhite explains how cultural and religious influences can further perpetuate the idea of masking true feelings with a facade of happiness. This ingrained behavior can hinder genuine self-expression and emotional processing.
Additionally, toxic positivity can contribute to feelings of isolation and disconnection, both for those who exhibit it and those who receive it. By glossing over genuine struggles with superficial positivity, individuals miss out on the opportunity for authentic connection and support.
Navigating Beyond Toxic Positivity
To combat toxic positivity, it’s crucial to acknowledge and embrace discomfort. Kimberly Applewhite suggests mindfulness strategies to confront challenging emotions and cultivate a deeper understanding of personal responses. By fostering self-awareness and acceptance of all feelings, individuals can move towards genuine emotional well-being.
Shifting language and communication patterns is another essential step in combating toxic positivity. Instead of dismissing struggles with empty positivity, engaging in meaningful conversations and offering genuine support can create a more empathetic and understanding environment.
Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity
Ultimately, the key to overcoming toxic positivity lies in embracing vulnerability and authenticity. By fostering genuine connections, engaging in honest conversations, and allowing space for true emotions, individuals can break free from the constraints of relentless positivity and cultivate a more meaningful and supportive community.
It is through genuine expression and open dialogue that true healing and growth can occur, transcending the limitations of toxic positivity and embracing the richness of authentic human experience.
Exploring the Nuances of Toxic Positivity
Unveiling Hidden Layers of Emotional Suppression
While toxic positivity may appear well-intentioned on the surface, its insidious nature lies in its tendency to suppress genuine emotions and stifle authentic human experiences. By delving deeper into the roots of this phenomenon, we uncover a complex interplay between societal expectations, personal beliefs, and cultural influences.
Through introspection and critical reflection, individuals can begin to unravel the layers of emotional suppression imposed by toxic positivity, paving the way for a more nuanced understanding of mental and emotional well-being.
Empowering Authentic Connections Through Vulnerability
By fostering a culture of vulnerability and authenticity, we create space for genuine connections to flourish. When individuals feel safe to express their true feelings and experiences without judgment or pressure to conform to unrealistic standards of positivity, true healing and growth become possible.
Embracing vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness allows for deeper connections and a more profound sense of empathy and understanding within our communities. Through authentic self-expression and mutual support, we can transcend the confines of toxic positivity and embrace the complexity of the human experience.
Summary
Toxic positivity, while well-intentioned, can have detrimental effects on mental and emotional well-being by invalidating genuine experiences and suppressing authentic emotions. By acknowledging the pitfalls of relentless positivity and embracing vulnerability, individuals can cultivate a more empathetic and supportive environment where genuine connections thrive. Through introspection, mindfulness, and meaningful communication, we can navigate beyond toxic positivity and embrace the richness of authentic human experiences.
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When Hanna Olivas was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2017, at age 42, she was at first angry, then terrified. Her doctors agreed on one thing: this type of blood cancer is incurable. But they couldn’t predict how much time she had left to live. “A doctor told me you have about a year left. Another told me you have about 5. One doctor told me 6. Another said he didn’t know,” says Olivas.
Some of his friends, on the other hand, were disconcertingly optimistic. On social media and in person they told him things like “You’re okay!” “You got this!” “You are a fighter!” They suggested medications and vitamins for her to try and continually assured her that everything would be fine, because she is a warrior.
Olivas knew they were trying to help. But his lingering mood felt dismissive, shutting down any real conversation.
“I say, hey, wait a minute. There is not even an ounce of positivity in me right now,” says Olivas, who lives in Las Vegas. “I’m really upset and I have every right to be.”
Being positive and optimistic is one thing. But if you go too far, you can cross the line into so-called toxic positivity. It can occur in all types of circumstances, including health problems, job loss, relationship problems, pregnancy or fertility problems, grief and loss. In essence, toxic positivity oversimplifies a complicated situation and tries to put an infinitely cheerful spin on it, regardless of reality.
Even if someone means well, if they’re displaying toxic positivity, the result is “relentless pressure to be happy or pursue happiness, no matter what the situation,” says psychotherapist Whitney Goodman. We do it to ourselves and to other people, and it has become so pervasive in our culture that she wrote a book about it called Toxic positivity: Keeping it real in a world obsessed with being happy. She says she came up with the idea for the book around 2019, when she saw perpetual positivity sweeping social media and appearing in sessions with her patients.
“It was like there was a social contract that we were all subscribed to and that we were supposed to be happy all the time,” Goodman says. “And if you don’t try to be more positive, or can’t achieve it, in some way you’re failing.”
It is an impossible standard and one that could cause harm. Constant positivity requires suppressing emotions that may be negative and uncomfortable, and pushing those feelings away doesn’t solve anything, Goodman notes. “That negative feeling that’s uncomfortable for you will actually get worse in other areas of life,” she says. “So you might notice things like sleep disturbances, mood disturbances, or [in] your eating patterns.”
Additionally, Goodman says, toxic positivity can isolate both the person who emits it and the person who receives it. If you feel like a friend expects you to always see the bright side, you may avoid talking about your feelings because you don’t want to be silenced or feel judged.
The determination to remain optimistic regardless of circumstances can also have roots in culture and religion, says Kimberly Applewhite, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist and program director at Dialectical.
Behavioral therapy program at the Utah Evidence-Based Treatment Center in Salt Lake City. “Some people who share my racial cultural framework [as a Black woman from the South] “they may have a transgenerational experience of being vulnerable to harm if they reveal their true feelings and, as such, may mask their emotional experience with a smile and hopeful platitudes,” he says.
In religion, Applewhite says avoiding negativity can take different forms. For some, it might mean showing little or no emotion at a funeral because the deceased is “in a better place”; They don’t want others to question their belief in the afterlife if they cry openly. In other traditions, Applewhite says, some people use the phrase “I’m too blessed to be stressed” when good and bad things happen. “Sometimes this is a great strategy to see things in balance,” he says. “But if someone uses this phrase to dismiss their own struggles in a difficult time, it can again prevent them from getting the help they need.”
Everything happens for a reason. Time heals all wounds. Only positive vibes. God only gives you what you can handle. You are strong enough to handle this. Have positive thoughts. If you’ve used these phrases when a friend or family member is venting or struggling, you may have veered toward toxic positivity, despite your best intentions. These tips will help prevent it.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Applewhite says that when patients reveal these types of tendencies, it’s an opportunity for her to pause with them and encourage them to check in with themselves and examine why they respond this way. “The pressure “Using certain coping strategies, whether healthy or unhealthy, positive or negative, is usually something we should be curious about and often comes from something that has been learned as a protective strategy in the face of some perceived slight,” she says.
People who respond too positively often try to avoid feelings of discomfort, Applewhite says. She suggests mindfulness strategies as a way to become more comfortable with those emotions.
Check your language. Evaluating and discarding certain phrases can help. Yeah If you find that you default to looking for a silver lining in every situation, to the point of dismissing your entire reality, Applewhite suggests shifting to more fact-based responses when talking to others and even yourself. “Instead of saying ‘It’s okay’ or ‘Life happens!’ You could say something like ‘I’m going through a tough time right now and I’m looking forward to this moment passing.’”
If you often try to fix things when a friend opens up to you, that could also be a sign. Instead of offering solutions or shifting the conversation to something more comfortable, ask questions, Goodman says. “Learn to be more curious about people’s experiences. And give people the space to really talk about what’s going on.”
For many, these lessons are learned the hard way. Olivas, who is still being treated for her condition, began calling people out for her toxic positivity, with kindness from her. “I had to learn to use my voice and stand up for myself,” she says. “I believe in real talk, not in what I call ‘speak’.” In 2020, she co-founded a marketing and publishing company, called She Rises Studios, to empower other women who are facing or have faced tragedies. , also.
Show up, be real, and ask questions. That’s Olivas’s advice. “I don’t think toxic positivity is done on purpose. “I think people just don’t know and are very willing to say what they think is right,” he says. “But if they actually listened when we talked instead of thinking they had to give us an answer or a suggestion, it would be much better.”
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