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You Won’t Believe What These 42 Wise, Funny, and Naughty Tips From Grandparents Can Teach You!

“Grandparenting can present both easy and challenging aspects. On one hand, you must ensure that your grandkids do not become spoiled and uncultured. On the other hand, you have the freedom to be less strict than their parents, allowing for more fun. As people age, their values and perspectives often change, leading grandparents to adopt a more progressive approach and make adjustments they feel they didn’t make with their own children. This is why the advice from grandparents tends to be more progressive than expected. In this article, we have gathered advice from grandparents that others have found useful, valuable, or amusing. Take a look below for some wisdom from grandparents that you can apply to your own life. Do you have any valuable advice you received from your grandparents? Feel free to share it with us in the comments section.”

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Grandparenting can be both very easy and very difficult. On the one hand, you have to make sure your grandkids don’t turn into uncultured brats because of how you spoil them. On the other hand, you don’t have to be as strict as their parents, and that gives you a lot of room for fun.

Very often, advancing in age brings a reassessment of values and life in general, and that’s why grandparents often try to be less restrictive or do things differently, particularly things they think they didn’t do quite correctly with their own children. This is exactly why when you receive a word of advice from your grandma and grandpa, with a couple of rare exceptions, you will find it much more progressive than you actually expected.  

And although the internet is full of meaningful grandparents quotes, we sincerely think that what it needs is more cool grandparents’ advice. For this article, we collected advice from grandparents that people have found useful, valuable, or just simply funny. Scroll down for some grandparent wisdom you could apply to your life as well. What was the best piece of advice you got from your grandparents? Share it with us in the comments.  

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. So don’t waste it.”

cattailmatt Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandpa said that a few times, but grandma once bested him by several miles. When my wife and I were trying to conceive she was complaining to my grandma about calendars, ovulation tests, etc. She concluded by saying that getting pregnant was a “pain in the a**.”

My dear sweet grandma immediately replied “If it hurts there, you’re doing it wrong.” The shades of purple I saw on my wife’s face that day were truly spectacular.”

tehlaser Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma once chastised me for wearing underwear to bed because I need to ‘let my taco air out'”

megafart Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandmother once told me ‘The best way to get over a man is to get under another.'”

not2old4ffvii Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My gram gave me a diary when I went to college and said “write a lot, it’s the only way you will remember what happened in college.”

Mildly accurate.”

RatApples Report

senatorkneehi said:
“When I excitedly told my grandmother that the boy I liked was going to prom with me, she said “Don’t wear anything with zippers. Make him work for it.” She was a spectacular woman.”

Choralone replied:
“Grandparents can be great for frank advice… after a certain point in life, many people loosen up again and just speak plainly. It’s great.”

senatorkneehi Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “It’s always better to let it out than to keep it in,” said my Grandma in regards to passing gas and burping (belching in her case).”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Have love and respect for your family, and your friends but above all, yourself.”

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42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma, whilst once discussing my new boyfriend, was asking why I was only dating one man. Her 87-year-old advice to 23-year-old me was that in her day she would line up multiple dates, with multiple men to try them out, and once you went on enough dates with one person, then you would go steady. That was the norm. I had to nicely explain to my super conservative Irish catholic grandmother that that is what we so kindly refer to as a “player” nowadays.

Her response: ‘Well, I guess I was a player then.'”

scnavi Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Always assume anyone who punches you has the will to kill you. Act accordingly and always treat a fight like its for your life. – Grandpa”

kegman83 Report

“Sage advice from my grandmother, while organizing her china cabinet and admiring family heirlooms: “As your parents and relatives age, it’s a good idea to start giving them gifts that you really want for yourself, because they’re going to find their way back to you rather soon. It’s what I’ve always done! Just remember – ‘We don’t plan to fail, we fail to plan!'”

riotous_jocundity Report

“When I was 15, my mom had walked into my boyfriends room (we were at his house and she was coming to pick me up; his mom just sent her to his room). She caught us making out (of course, since it was the first time ever), and she was LIVID. I got a whole talk about how I was only 15 and how I was too young for that. That weekend, I went to my grandma’s and told her about it (we were close) and my grandma replied “What’s she think you’re gonna do with your life, be a nun?”‘

obscurethestorm Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “If you meet a man in a bar… that is where he will be throughout your marriage.”

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42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma told me not to date girls from the south in college because they all wanted to get married too young… surprisingly good advice.”

Dr_Duty_Howser replied:
“My school’s unofficial motto is “a ring by spring or your money back.” I feel like I am the only one in South Carolina that doesn’t want to be married at 20…”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Be good… and if you can’t be good, be smart.”

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42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma once told, while very drunk, if you don’t have lube on hand melted butter works just fine…”

scllfof4 Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “When I was little, I was told to never ever sit on a hardwood/tile/non-carpeted floor because it will ruin your lady bits and you won’t be able to make bebbies. I think she meant because it’s cold, but I have a degree in biology now and still don’t really understand what the hell she was talking about.”

PiquantPi Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “I was playing with flashlights at my grandfather’s and he told me, ‘Stop spilling my milk.’ He iterated further by saying, ‘Batteries are like milk. if you waste all your milk now you won’t have any left for cereal later.'”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents LuLeeJulie said:
“My Aunt Carol never threw food out. Expiration dates had no meaning to her. She always said, “Waste not, want not.”‘

Cornflower07 replied:
“My grandma is like this. 6 months past it’s expiration date? “Oh, those don’t mean anything anyway!” Covered in mold? “Just scrape it off!” Already in the trashcan? “Why did you throw that away?” And then she’ll pick it up and eat it. I’m shocked she hasn’t gotten botulism by now.”

LuLeeJulie Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “When you make good choices in life, you are in a better position to have good results.”

Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “When I came out to my grandma, she smiled and told me not to have s** with dudes in restroom stalls. Thanks, Grandma!”

cromble Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma warned me that boys “make a tent” in bed every morning. Thanks, Gramma.”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandparents gave each of their grandkids money for college. Not a fortune, just a few hundred dollars a year to buy a couple books.

So I’m over my grandparents to get said money and my grandmother leaves the room to get her chequebook.

My grandfather motions me over and says, “Don’t make it with any Catholic girls because they don’t use birth control.” Nevermind the fact that we’re Catholic…”

Fuqwon Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandmother always told me, ‘It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.'”

ms-meetoo Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandma used to tell me that if I didn’t moisturize my elbows, boys wouldn’t think I was pretty. I still make sure to lotion them down every night before I go to bed so I won’t have ‘elephant skin.'”

princessssxtina Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Make sure to marry someone that loves you more than you love them.”

in_valid Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Don’t make yourself too useful.”

Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Wait until you are pregnant…

Some favourites have been:

Don’t lift your arms above your head you will hang the baby with the cord;

Don’t lay on your back, or you will die;

Drink milk so you can breastfeed (pretty sure that’s not how it works); and

Don’t poke your belly button you can poke your babies soft spot in their skull and they will die.”

lawyerlady Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “I worked at PetSmart and was helping an old lady lift a heavy bag of cat litter into her car. She asked for a male to help her, but we were a female dominated store and no guys were working that day. She told me she preferred a guy to help, because my uterus could fall out from lifting heavy things.”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “If you want to be happy the rest of your life, marry an ugly woman.

She’ll never leave you. And if she does, so what.

He also said ‘You can marry more money in five minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.'”

clumaho Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “‘If your bird touches the urinal, it will fall off.’ – my grandfather

It took a while to shake the anxiety from peeing.”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My grandmother told me and my sister “Eating honey will make you’re b**bs bigger” when we were kids. Well, my sister loved honey, and me, not so much. My sister is a C-cup and I am an A-cup. damnit.”

blueeyedconcrete Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Always have your own money and pretend the snakes are on it.”

Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Never tell your girlfriend/wife that she’s attractive. One day she’ll build up enough confidence to cheat on you with someone better-looking.

My recently divorced grandfather told me this. I don’t agree with it whatsoever.”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “My husband’s grandfather told us to never befriend any couples, because one wife will run off with the other husband and leave the other two sad and lonely. We live with married housemates, I wonder what he thinks about us now…”

charcoal_feather Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Chew your milk! I once choked on a grape when I was with my grandparents (thank goodness my mom had just shown up to pick us up, because my grandparents’ reaction was literally just FREAKING OUT AND RUNNING AROUND).
Ever since then, I’d been told to chew my milk/water/liquid/everything. I feel like fake-chewing water is more likely to cause choking than just drinking it.”

yellofeathers Report

“Grandma: “Don’t lick the yogurt cover, you’ll cut yourself!”

It was a plastic cover.”

reddit.com Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Catch the ladybug, make a wish and blow them to freedom.”

Report

42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Turn up the corners of your mouth ― even though it hurts.”

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42 Pieces Of Wise, Funny, And Naughty Advice From Grandparents “Never let them see you sweat.”

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