When should parents consider divorce—and does the timing matter for a child?
In this thought-provoking conversation, Erica Komisar discusses divorce, early childhood development, attachment, and children’s emotional and mental health. She explains why she believes the first few years of a child’s life are especially important for establishing stability, security, and emotional foundations, and shares her perspective on how parental conflict, separation, and family stability can affect children.
The conversation explores divorce and children, childhood development, attachment, parental conflict, children’s mental health, emotional security, and the importance of creating a stable environment during the early years.
Speaker: Erica Komisar
Host: Chris Williamson
Podcast: Modern Wisdom
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Disclaimer: This video is shared for educational and discussion purposes. All rights belong to the original creators.
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Your children come first. Always.
At least 3. How about 18 years?
The Regret is awful 💙 do it for your babies.
Don’t ever divorce
Physical abuse should never be tolerated. Physical abuse is not ok.
I never wana see any human being who would physically harm me. Ever.
To me once someone physically harmed me. They're dead to me.
What if you put your children first for 15 years? Is that long enough?
How about, adults grow up. It's not about you. Your potential happiness does not come before your children's well-being.
Women initiate 92% of divorces. More emphasis should be placed on them.
females are their own worst enemies but oh no the male didn't do this or that. I even begged to go seek couple help and was met with oh that's great they'll just blame me, so we never went
Treat all modern women like a loaded gun.
You know, children suffer no matter how old they are !! But I get what this lady says !
I am one of the lucky ones that grew up with loving parents, and by Gods grace, we also gave that to our children! Married41 yrs
If you can't be with the one you love because you're married with children then…love the one you're with…love the one you're with
That's terrible advice. Most people divorce because coexisting is not an option.
Omg! Children feel everything even at 2 yo?! So yoh suggest keep the common s stage of passive aggression nc NO ONE can fk healthy conflict
I’ll never forget my therapist told me that I should divorce my husband while my kids are babies so they won’t remember him and it won’t affect them… I stopped seeing her
This is nonsense. It makes absolutely no sense to do it before 3 years. It makes no sense during middle school. Probably age 3-7 or after 14.
Divorce once you have children should be categorized as child abuse. Make marriage great again. Protect the truly innocent.
What if u never came together? I felt it was best to build a life single with him instead of wondering where the other "parent" went. He has safety and security with me. And he comes 1st always with me.
This woman is awful
Does this lady consider the part where the first 3 years might not be safe for the child?
The thought of my child having to go sleep somewhere else, away from me, every other weekend would be enough to make me stay. The thought is way too much for me. I'll donwhatever it takes.
I feel good about this, my husband and I didn’t have it easy but we put our all into our children, we struggled financially and my husband was chronically I’ll with kidney disease, unfortunately he died when they were 10 & 12, and once again we struggled financially but are very close knit, we’ve been through a lot, but what great kids, both in university now and both very grounded young adults …. We owe it to the people we bring into this world, to put them before ourselves and raise them to be good humans and well equip for what life has in store.
The biggest failing we experience and the best advice to help fix it. 😢❤
I had to raise my daughter myself but lived w extended family my husband was out of picture for first 3 1/2 years Then he came back in picture what are the types if harm done in this type of arrangement ?
Abuse comes in many forms; emotional, verbal, physical, mental, financial, and spiritual. These are much more dangerous to children…than divorce.
Children are a choice…so be careful who you choose to have children with.
God, what a horrible society. We’re gonna get divorced after we loved each other at one point enough to make a declaration in front of God and the community that we are now one then start a family with children but now because we merely can’t get along we’re gonna get a divorce.. how about don’t get married and start a family to be in with if you’re that immature and irresponsible
I think..hold it until they're older teenagers.
I'm a child psychologist and I do not agree!!
Wanting a divorce is not something that comes overnight, and because you just don't like each other anymore. It means that you don't feel seen or feel safe in the relationship. That is inherently affecting you as a parent, which is affecting the sense of feeling safe and secure for the child. You cannot pretend…your child will feel unsafe and the damage will be bigger if you stay in the relationship. Getting a divorce teaches your child to have safe en secure relationships. And a child has its own different relationship with either parent. Focus on co-parenting, because a parent you will always be.
I left my ex when my son turned 3 and never looked back. He doesn’t miss him and I’ll never regret my decision for divorce
Abuse & stayed until she was 6 & he was 10. When I fi nally got out barely alive… the abuse to my 10 & 14 year old escalated & been alone for 20 years.
Love your videos, i would really like to hear your views on having children 1 year apart or having a lot of children and how it affects them.
Design a culture that offers support during this time and you might not have overworked stressed combative adults who think it’s each other and not the constraints of our culture
How about suck it up. Remember why you were first attracted to her and not the raving lunatic she has become.
Let your children develop a sense of safety and security and then pull it out from under them! Great plan.
We were 3 and 7 and it messed us up for life. Being 7 and not allowed to socialise with friends incase the other parent trys to ",take" us sucked
Your happiness is just as important as your child’s happiness. Children thrive in a happy home and with happy parents. If you’re miserable with your partner, please leave. Your children will absolutely absorb that negative energy, speaking from personal experience. Most importantly, don’t have kids with people you’re unsure about.
You should wait longer than that if possible. My parents got divorced when i was 3 and my sister was 8.
Oh dear, this just hit me ! 😮
life feels unbearable and sucks and i feel deeply hurt and depressed. I loved my husband soo much, but he eventually left me for another woman. I don’t know what to do.
they need guidance not control over their lives fr
Sie hat Recht. Aber es ist hart. Ich hoffe, es bringt meinem Kind einen benefit