I’m growing up with the authoritarian style parenting from my dad. It’s horrible and I hate him. It’s not fully because of his parenting, through, it’s because he acts immature but I find those who use this style of parenting to be immature.
Edit: not looking to have a relationship with him when I’m older and I can’t wait to become an adult to move out.
Edit 2 because I keep thinking about stuff to add: If you have questions about the way he’s affected me feel free to ask :))
I always say Montessori is the 3A (affection+amusement+autonomy) while gentle parenting is considering your kid like a person who deserve respect. I practice both with mine. ❤
Gentle parenting is respectful parenting. Children need to understand mistakes so that they aren’t repeated. Explanation is more effective than punishment.
I like to call it regulated parenting because it’s about both the adult and child being emotionally regulated. Then people also have to argue that they don’t agree/want to be emotionally regulated if they think it’s a bad idea 😂😂
What I love about gentle parenting is that you could look another adult in the eyes and explain what it is. And they would continue to insist its just letting your kid do whatever they want and thats why kids are pieces of shit these days
people often confuse permissive and gentle parenting. it’s not a free for all, you just treat your kids like the little humans figuring out the world that they are.
My son is going to be 2 next month and it honestly surprises people when we tell them we don’t pop him. I know what he developmentally does and does not understand so therefore I have never had a reason to feel the need to pop him to make him stop doing something. I know how to re-direct him. I also never had a reason to think he is “bad” because again I know what is developmentally appropriate at his age. I understand he isn’t being “bad” he is just curios and lacks implies control. Yes, it takes more patience and it is hard not to sometimes because that is how I was raised but I am all about conscious parenting and am lucky my boyfriend is too.
Well said! I had a similar philosophy to parenting. My adult children have both said we didn’t have a lot of rules, we had expectations. They also both came back from Uni very appreciative and grateful for how we parented them. I had doubts at times when they were young but they turned out great.
The montessori/gentle parenting method is SO effective and healthy. The problem is theres so many people out here who just neglect their kids and call it gentle parenting
Gentle parenting has a bad reputation because a lot of people don't understand that you still have to teach your children to behave appropriately so they just let their children do whatever they want and absolutely everybody else (strangers, teachers, friend's parents) suffer from it.
My fave two things my bestie used to say (or sing) to her two girls: Stay together with the group (to call them back if they were wandering a bit far from Us, rather than don’t run off) Hold your own hands (as we’d walk into shops, instead of saying don’t touch)
There were people allowing their kids to do whatever they wanted long before I even existed. Those people are not gentle parents.
I would rather my child understand why we do something, especially if it's something important like their health or safety. My kids still sometimes have meltdowns because everyone sometimes has a bad day. But all in all I think my kids are on the right track to be empathetic and capable human beings.
So to me I think my mom did gentle parenting. She explained everything to me and actions have consequences. I never got punished I had a consequence to my action! Yes that meant I wasn’t able to do stuff but I understood why emotionally physically and developmentally
Oh, I didn't know this had a name. I do this with my cousin since she was super little. Treat her like a person and explain to her the way things are. If she hurts my feelings I tell her that and she understands. I think I am the only person in the family she treats with respect because I am the only want that respects her wants and feelings instead of telling her she sucks
"gental parenting" just means treating your child like an individual human you value as your equal. which I guess is very jarring to people doing it the old way, which is being the absolute authority figure to your property.
I have tried my best to gentle parent. I was not raised like that, so i has to be a conscious effort at all times. It's gotten a bit easier now that they have more language development and we can have actual conversations.
Sometimes I have to give myself a time out because I just don't have the spoons.
Ah yes, I remember having to gentle parent my own youngest brother because when my father and stepmother thought they were parenting the correct way, they were actually doing Permissive parenting mixed with loud and aggressive yelling towards a five year old. No joke, me scolding him for KICKING his own dog and being very unsafe with not even eight week old puppies, caused ME to get in trouble for enforcing non-harmful behaviour towards animals and living creatures. As well as just straight up treating him like an infant despite being five years old and already able to grasp the concept of what's REALLY bad
Children are people, no matter the age. You don't magically become worthy of respect at 18 or 16 or 21. Obviously young children need a lot of guidance, but they are still their own people. I think it's amazing how much respect you have for your child
I’m growing up with the authoritarian style parenting from my dad. It’s horrible and I hate him. It’s not fully because of his parenting, through, it’s because he acts immature but I find those who use this style of parenting to be immature.
Edit: not looking to have a relationship with him when I’m older and I can’t wait to become an adult to move out.
Edit 2 because I keep thinking about stuff to add: If you have questions about the way he’s affected me feel free to ask :))
Gentle parenting is often confused with permissive parenting
Some people don't see children as human beings. They see them as property to build up to be their caretaker in old age.
I always say Montessori is the 3A (affection+amusement+autonomy) while gentle parenting is considering your kid like a person who deserve respect. I practice both with mine. ❤
Oh my gosh he's gotten so big!
I really like that top!
Gentle parenting is respectful parenting. Children need to understand mistakes so that they aren’t repeated. Explanation is more effective than punishment.
I like to call it regulated parenting because it’s about both the adult and child being emotionally regulated. Then people also have to argue that they don’t agree/want to be emotionally regulated if they think it’s a bad idea 😂😂
Gentle parenting is permissive parenting. It’s exactly what we think it is because we see it in action and the consequences of it.
My husband family thinks we are too loose with our parenting and my son’s teachers think we are too strict. I am going to go with his teachers.
What I love about gentle parenting is that you could look another adult in the eyes and explain what it is. And they would continue to insist its just letting your kid do whatever they want and thats why kids are pieces of shit these days
people often confuse permissive and gentle parenting. it’s not a free for all, you just treat your kids like the little humans figuring out the world that they are.
My son is going to be 2 next month and it honestly surprises people when we tell them we don’t pop him. I know what he developmentally does and does not understand so therefore I have never had a reason to feel the need to pop him to make him stop doing something. I know how to re-direct him. I also never had a reason to think he is “bad” because again I know what is developmentally appropriate at his age. I understand he isn’t being “bad” he is just curios and lacks implies control. Yes, it takes more patience and it is hard not to sometimes because that is how I was raised but I am all about conscious parenting and am lucky my boyfriend is too.
People confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting.
Children only really need their basic needs, including mental stimulation (TV 📺, books 📖, games, friendships, etc.).
They just unpack themselves like a teepee.
Well said! I had a similar philosophy to parenting. My adult children have both said we didn’t have a lot of rules, we had expectations. They also both came back from Uni very appreciative and grateful for how we parented them. I had doubts at times when they were young but they turned out great.
The montessori/gentle parenting method is SO effective and healthy. The problem is theres so many people out here who just neglect their kids and call it gentle parenting
I love to gentle parent my dogs 😌
Explaining things to kids and treating them like they're their own people is so important!
As someone that was raised by the: do this or less mentality without being explained why that was bad; it’s stupid to parent your kids like that.
Gentle parenting has a bad reputation because a lot of people don't understand that you still have to teach your children to behave appropriately so they just let their children do whatever they want and absolutely everybody else (strangers, teachers, friend's parents) suffer from it.
Mhm.
My fave two things my bestie used to say (or sing) to her two girls:
Stay together with the group (to call them back if they were wandering a bit far from
Us, rather than don’t run off)
Hold your own hands (as we’d walk into shops, instead of saying don’t touch)
It was so wildly effective.
There were people allowing their kids to do whatever they wanted long before I even existed. Those people are not gentle parents.
I would rather my child understand why we do something, especially if it's something important like their health or safety. My kids still sometimes have meltdowns because everyone sometimes has a bad day. But all in all I think my kids are on the right track to be empathetic and capable human beings.
So to me I think my mom did gentle parenting. She explained everything to me and actions have consequences. I never got punished I had a consequence to my action! Yes that meant I wasn’t able to do stuff but I understood why emotionally physically and developmentally
He's grown so much!! ❤
Oh, I didn't know this had a name. I do this with my cousin since she was super little. Treat her like a person and explain to her the way things are. If she hurts my feelings I tell her that and she understands. I think I am the only person in the family she treats with respect because I am the only want that respects her wants and feelings instead of telling her she sucks
"gental parenting" just means treating your child like an individual human you value as your equal. which I guess is very jarring to people doing it the old way, which is being the absolute authority figure to your property.
He's so big now 🥲 it seems like yesterday you were posting videos about baby toys.
I have tried my best to gentle parent. I was not raised like that, so i has to be a conscious effort at all times. It's gotten a bit easier now that they have more language development and we can have actual conversations.
Sometimes I have to give myself a time out because I just don't have the spoons.
Ah yes, I remember having to gentle parent my own youngest brother because when my father and stepmother thought they were parenting the correct way, they were actually doing Permissive parenting mixed with loud and aggressive yelling towards a five year old. No joke, me scolding him for KICKING his own dog and being very unsafe with not even eight week old puppies, caused ME to get in trouble for enforcing non-harmful behaviour towards animals and living creatures. As well as just straight up treating him like an infant despite being five years old and already able to grasp the concept of what's REALLY bad
Children are people, no matter the age. You don't magically become worthy of respect at 18 or 16 or 21. Obviously young children need a lot of guidance, but they are still their own people. I think it's amazing how much respect you have for your child
And this parenting tactic really really works for some kids. It worked for me. It didn't work for my siblings. Its all about understanding your child.
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