Ummmmmmmmmmmmm this is my worst nightmare as a baby sitter of tiny girls. 😵💫😳😵💫😳 Now this will be forever in my mind. Never leaving the soap with them again.
I feel like this also loops back to kids don't know things until you tell them. Of course a grown person would think "That's enough bubbles, she can just splash to make more." But a kid doesn't know! New rule made.
I love how she also "parents" herself by being like uhh no she's not in trouble. She didn't break any rules. And then talk to her child about it and make the rule together. Such a more effective seeming way of raising littles
I watched the video like 6 times trying to figure out if I like the eye makeup. I still don't know, but now I want a full face of black and white makeup.
So much less fear and anxiety is produced when you teach the child that your first reaction to a wrong is to talk about it and work it out. I grew up in a family that SCREAMED at one another so loudly people outside and down the street could make out what the argument was about, whenever something went wrong.
At somewhere around 11-13 (my memory is not that good so not sure what age just the range) we had a "positive conflict resolution" seminar at school that was part of the anti-bullying campaigns from the early 00's (had to be around 2002 for sure)…
I went home, and the very next time there was a disagreement between me and my mom, instead of screaming back at her screaming at me, I just stopped and calmly as I could said "I do not think this type of communication is healthy and I think we can do better. When you're ready to calm down and speak with me like an adult, I'll be up in my room waiting in time out." (as close to original as possible, but exact wording is likely a bit altered now from time).
My mom… she was LIVID at being told to calm down and speak like an adult by her pre-teen ADHD child who also screams. I had enough time to get up the stairs and into my room (I basically dog-ran on all fours up those stairs to speed into my room, sensing danger) before I heard the earth-quake stomp of angry mom up the stairs.
She burst in, pointed, and angrily SAID (not screamed this time) "You do not tell me to be an adult or to calm down. You are right, but I do not appreciate how you just spoke to me. We're going to have time out and when we're calm we will talk about this, and in future we will work not to scream at each other." (exact words probably were different, but this was the gist)
She stuck to it – the next time anyone yelled, it was me having a meltdown for the first time in over 4 years, over a high-stress final project in an art class I was not enjoying (hated sculpture, oved art, was pushed into it because it was the only art class that I was able to sign up for with my requireds for high school – I was 15 or 16 at the time).
A house hold full of ADHD people who came up in the 70's-2004 respectively, in a time where VERY little public understanding or education existed for neurodivergence, meant there was A LOT of high-emotion nonsense responses to things.
Sometimes, I still have to struggle not to scream.
*Edit to add: My mother was very progressive for the time, she just lacked resources to better understand how to parent intentionally. This concept did not really exist, and while she was taking me to doctors and dealing with medications to help me, she was also being confronted and harassed regularly by other parents and faculty BECAUSE she chose to try and help treat my symptoms with therapy and medication (I required both until I was about 14, then chose to drop medication until just recently in 2022). She was quick to take me to a doctor, and to consent for the testing (before they had actual neurodivergence testing, they had the "Gifted Testing" once a year or every other year, and people who could be Neurodivergent (at the time called "special" D: ) would be called in to test with the supposed gifted kids. Those of us who were not gifted KNEW we were not gifted, so we tended to know why we were there. I was put in because I would self-moderate for attention, demanding to be put in the hall (a punishment) just so I could focus.
I only ever had ONE teacher in elementary school (had her for a couple grades at least though) who understood I needed more help and would have a tape deck and headset in the corner for me to do focused listening study rather than class-group learning tasks. One let me sit in the hall sometimes when I asked. The rest, with pure annoyed confusion or just minor dismissal, would tell me NO and to go sit down and do my work.
They thought I was actually gifted because I was asking for space to focus. :'D My mom was like "no she probably has ADHD like me, but I also DID test gifted so maybe?" turned out my sister was the gifted one, but we BOTH had ADHD (I had more inattention, she had more hyperactivity).
It’s amazing to many how many adults assume that brand new humans have any idea what they are doing. We got 20+ years on them and WE don’t know what the hell we are doing. I would have got yelled at for breaking a rule I didn’t know existed.
I like the way you communicate with your kids and you don't immediately resort to scolding them when they do something wrong. Growing up I had a friend whose mom would do "three minutes of grace" where if you tell the truth in those three minutes you won't get in trouble but if you swear you didn't do anything and then come back later and 'fess up, you would get in trouble. Can't tell you how often we still got in trouble even when we told the truth within the three minutes. And very often it was for breaking a rule we didn't know existed. Her mom jumped to "why on earth would you think it was ok to do that?! I didn't say you could do that!" So I like that you recognize "well I didn't say she couldn't do that, so that's on me too." Your kids may very well grow up to be some of the best behaved kids of their generation because you let them feel their feelings and communicate clearly to them why they shouldn't do something (as opposed to most parents' go-to reasoning of "because I said so").
People talking about how kids don't know better made me realize when I was younger how I once got yelled at for not knowing how to clean.
I was never shown how to sweep, I was never shown what goes into the trash and what doesn't, I was never taught what cleaning products to use, I was never taught how to mop. Yet I still got yelled at. Because I was just supposed to know but how was I supposed to know? Kids aren't born with that knowledge in their brain, it couldn't have been beamed into my head, but I still got yelled at for it. I remember thinking when I was younger about how when I became an adult I could clean my own place however I like without getting yelled at… how sad is that? To have BEING ABLE TO CLEAN as one of your goals when you grew up…
I know how to clean now, and I no longer get yelled at… but it's still stupid.
Once my birth giver called me selfish because I used a whole sauce packet on my sausage roll. She didn't specify to me to save her some. We didn't have a discussion about it, and it made me feel incredibly guilty and stupid for not knowing I was supposed to save some (and by some I mean most of the packet cause my mother is a pretty selfish narc). I was 5 years old.
"My 1st thought: Ouhhh she's in trouble
My 2nd thought: nO shes not"
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm this is my worst nightmare as a baby sitter of tiny girls. 😵💫😳😵💫😳 Now this will be forever in my mind. Never leaving the soap with them again.
Please be my mom.
That ain’t fair I would get spanked if I done that 😒
I feel like this also loops back to kids don't know things until you tell them. Of course a grown person would think "That's enough bubbles, she can just splash to make more." But a kid doesn't know! New rule made.
I love how she also "parents" herself by being like uhh no she's not in trouble. She didn't break any rules. And then talk to her child about it and make the rule together. Such a more effective seeming way of raising littles
If you can afford it I think your should write a book on parenting and your methods, it would help the next generation end up like ur kids
tbh If i saw that i wouldn't be able to not laught because that sounds fun and funny XD
I love your shirt❤
I watched the video like 6 times trying to figure out if I like the eye makeup. I still don't know, but now I want a full face of black and white makeup.
So much less fear and anxiety is produced when you teach the child that your first reaction to a wrong is to talk about it and work it out. I grew up in a family that SCREAMED at one another so loudly people outside and down the street could make out what the argument was about, whenever something went wrong.
At somewhere around 11-13 (my memory is not that good so not sure what age just the range) we had a "positive conflict resolution" seminar at school that was part of the anti-bullying campaigns from the early 00's (had to be around 2002 for sure)…
I went home, and the very next time there was a disagreement between me and my mom, instead of screaming back at her screaming at me, I just stopped and calmly as I could said "I do not think this type of communication is healthy and I think we can do better. When you're ready to calm down and speak with me like an adult, I'll be up in my room waiting in time out." (as close to original as possible, but exact wording is likely a bit altered now from time).
My mom… she was LIVID at being told to calm down and speak like an adult by her pre-teen ADHD child who also screams. I had enough time to get up the stairs and into my room (I basically dog-ran on all fours up those stairs to speed into my room, sensing danger) before I heard the earth-quake stomp of angry mom up the stairs.
She burst in, pointed, and angrily SAID (not screamed this time) "You do not tell me to be an adult or to calm down. You are right, but I do not appreciate how you just spoke to me. We're going to have time out and when we're calm we will talk about this, and in future we will work not to scream at each other." (exact words probably were different, but this was the gist)
She stuck to it – the next time anyone yelled, it was me having a meltdown for the first time in over 4 years, over a high-stress final project in an art class I was not enjoying (hated sculpture, oved art, was pushed into it because it was the only art class that I was able to sign up for with my requireds for high school – I was 15 or 16 at the time).
A house hold full of ADHD people who came up in the 70's-2004 respectively, in a time where VERY little public understanding or education existed for neurodivergence, meant there was A LOT of high-emotion nonsense responses to things.
Sometimes, I still have to struggle not to scream.
#TeachThemBetter #ImprovedWithTime #KeepTrying #BeCompassionate 🙂
*Edit to add: My mother was very progressive for the time, she just lacked resources to better understand how to parent intentionally. This concept did not really exist, and while she was taking me to doctors and dealing with medications to help me, she was also being confronted and harassed regularly by other parents and faculty BECAUSE she chose to try and help treat my symptoms with therapy and medication (I required both until I was about 14, then chose to drop medication until just recently in 2022). She was quick to take me to a doctor, and to consent for the testing (before they had actual neurodivergence testing, they had the "Gifted Testing" once a year or every other year, and people who could be Neurodivergent (at the time called "special" D: ) would be called in to test with the supposed gifted kids. Those of us who were not gifted KNEW we were not gifted, so we tended to know why we were there. I was put in because I would self-moderate for attention, demanding to be put in the hall (a punishment) just so I could focus.
I only ever had ONE teacher in elementary school (had her for a couple grades at least though) who understood I needed more help and would have a tape deck and headset in the corner for me to do focused listening study rather than class-group learning tasks. One let me sit in the hall sometimes when I asked. The rest, with pure annoyed confusion or just minor dismissal, would tell me NO and to go sit down and do my work.
They thought I was actually gifted because I was asking for space to focus. :'D My mom was like "no she probably has ADHD like me, but I also DID test gifted so maybe?" turned out my sister was the gifted one, but we BOTH had ADHD (I had more inattention, she had more hyperactivity).
It’s amazing to many how many adults assume that brand new humans have any idea what they are doing. We got 20+ years on them and WE don’t know what the hell we are doing.
I would have got yelled at for breaking a rule I didn’t know existed.
100% on the saying back ❤
I love ur makeup u do and ur hair colors too ❤
😮😮😮🤯 having them repeat it back is ingenious.
I like the way you communicate with your kids and you don't immediately resort to scolding them when they do something wrong. Growing up I had a friend whose mom would do "three minutes of grace" where if you tell the truth in those three minutes you won't get in trouble but if you swear you didn't do anything and then come back later and 'fess up, you would get in trouble. Can't tell you how often we still got in trouble even when we told the truth within the three minutes. And very often it was for breaking a rule we didn't know existed. Her mom jumped to "why on earth would you think it was ok to do that?! I didn't say you could do that!" So I like that you recognize "well I didn't say she couldn't do that, so that's on me too." Your kids may very well grow up to be some of the best behaved kids of their generation because you let them feel their feelings and communicate clearly to them why they shouldn't do something (as opposed to most parents' go-to reasoning of "because I said so").
COMPLETELYYYYYY OFFF POINT BUTT I have the same Fleetwood Mac shirt✊🏻🖤
Watching the gentle parenting you practice is absolutely beautiful
DONT LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN THATS HOW YOU GET A URINARY TRACT INFECTION THOSE HURT LIKE HECC-😭
People find it demeaning when you ask then to repeat it back.
I repeat things and write things down all the time to ensure I remember.
You're an inspiration fot everything i strive be
You are so awesome, I hope your daughter knows how lucky she is💗✨
People talking about how kids don't know better made me realize when I was younger how I once got yelled at for not knowing how to clean.
I was never shown how to sweep, I was never shown what goes into the trash and what doesn't, I was never taught what cleaning products to use, I was never taught how to mop. Yet I still got yelled at. Because I was just supposed to know but how was I supposed to know? Kids aren't born with that knowledge in their brain, it couldn't have been beamed into my head, but I still got yelled at for it. I remember thinking when I was younger about how when I became an adult I could clean my own place however I like without getting yelled at… how sad is that? To have BEING ABLE TO CLEAN as one of your goals when you grew up…
I know how to clean now, and I no longer get yelled at… but it's still stupid.
Once my birth giver called me selfish because I used a whole sauce packet on my sausage roll. She didn't specify to me to save her some. We didn't have a discussion about it, and it made me feel incredibly guilty and stupid for not knowing I was supposed to save some (and by some I mean most of the packet cause my mother is a pretty selfish narc). I was 5 years old.
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