The Importance of Fatherhood: Where Have All the Fathers Gone?
Father’s Day is a special day to commemorate and celebrate fathers, grandfathers, and great-grandfathers. It’s a day to praise and appreciate their efforts, sacrifices, and love. However, Father’s Day can also be a time of concern, as the number of fathers present in the home has decreased over the years. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 25% of youth today are growing up without a father in the home. In 1968, 85% of children under the age of 18 lived with two parents. By 2020, 70% of children had two parents.
This decline in fatherhood has alarming consequences. A report by the U.S. Department of Justice shows that children from fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of all homeless and runaway youths, 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders, 71% of all high school dropouts, and 75% of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers. Therefore, we must ask ourselves: Where have all the fathers gone, and why is fatherhood essential?
The Value of Fatherhood
Fathers play a unique and crucial role in the life of a child. Here are some ways in which fatherhood shapes a child’s life:
1. Provides a strong role model: Fatherhood provides children with a strong role model that can shape their behavior and values. Dads can show children the importance of hard work, responsibility, respect, and kindness.
2. Encourages healthy development: Children who have an involved father exhibit better outcomes in terms of cognitive development, academic achievement, and behavior.
3. Promotes self-esteem: Children who have a positive relationship with their father have higher self-esteem and self-confidence.
4. Fosters healthy relationships: Children who have an involved father are more likely to develop healthy relationships with others. They learn how to communicate, trust, and show empathy, among other vital communication and social skills.
5. Ensures the child’s emotional well-being: Research by the American Psychological Association suggests that involved fathers can be helpful in reducing mental health problems in children.
6. Teaches important life skills: Fathers can teach their children important life skills such as how to cook, sports skills, and physical activity.
The Challenges of Fatherhood
Fatherhood comes with its own set of challenges, including planning and time management. Here are some challenges that fathers face:
1. Balancing work and family life: Fathers need to balance work and family life, which can be a challenging task. They must adjust their schedules to accommodate their children’s needs while also meeting their work requirements.
2. Single parenthood: A significant number of single-parent households are headed by fathers. Single fathers raising their children must deal with daily parenting duties alone while providing for their children.
3. Co-parenting and divorce: When a couple divorces, fathers often find it challenging to stay involved in their children’s lives. Moreover, co-parenting demands a significant level of communication and coordination between both parents, which can be a source of conflict.
4. Social expectations: Often, fathers find it challenging to strike a balance between maintaining their “provider” role and their “nurturer” role. Society still expects fathers to be the sole breadwinners, which may come at the cost of spending less time with their children.
The Importance of Involved Fatherhood
Involved fatherhood involves being an active participant in the parenting process by being present, attentive, and engaged. Fathers who are involved in their children’s lives show that they care and are present, which establishes a foundation of trust and love. Involved fathers provide a sense of stability and emotional support that helps children build resilience and cope with challenges.
Here are ways in which fathers can become more involved in their children’s lives:
1. Spend quality time with your children: Set aside time to be with your children and participate in activities that they enjoy.
2. Build meaningful relationships: Take an interest in your children’s lives, listen to them, and be available when they need you.
3. Share parenting responsibilities: Fathers can share parenting responsibilities with their partners to ensure that they can spend adequate time with their children.
4. Provide emotional support: Validate your children’s feelings and be supportive of their emotional needs.
5. Be a positive role model: Lead by example; fathers should model good behavior and values and encourage their children to do the same.
6. Create traditions: Establish family traditions that children can look forward to and cherish.
The Role of Society
Society plays a vital role in promoting fatherhood and fostering a supportive environment for fathers. Here are ways in which society can encourage fatherhood:
1. Recognize and celebrate the contributions of fathers: Recognize the importance of fathers in the lives of children and celebrate their contributions.
2. Encourage work-life balance: Employers can provide flexibility for fathers to balance work and family life better.
3. Increase paternity leave: Countries worldwide are starting to recognize the importance of fathers and are extending paternity leave, allowing fathers to be more involved in their children’s lives.
4. Address stereotypes: Challenge stereotypes surrounding fatherhood and encourage fathers to play an essential role in their children’s lives.
5. Disseminate information: Provide adequate information on the importance of involved fatherhood and the resources available to new fathers.
6. Promote family-friendly policies: Governments worldwide can create policies that are pro-family and support fatherhood.
In conclusion, Father’s Day should be a reminder of how important fathers are in the lives of children, families and society. The decline in fatherhood should be a cause for concern, and society must ensure that fathers have the resources they need to be involved in their children’s lives. Involved fatherhood can provide children with vital skills and values that will benefit them throughout their lives. It’s never too late to become an involved father, and with society’s support, we can ensure that more children enjoy the benefits of having a father in their lives.
Summary:
Fatherhood is crucial for a child’s healthy development. The decline in fatherhood is a cause for concern and has alarming consequences. Involved fatherhood provides children with a strong role model, encourages healthy development, promotes self-esteem, fosters healthy relationships, ensures emotional wellbeing, and teaches essential life skills. Fathers face many challenges, including balancing work and family life, single parenthood, co-parenting and divorce, and social expectations. Involved fathers provide a sense of stability and emotional support, which helps children build resilience and cope with challenges. Fathers need to be more involved in their children’s lives, and society must provide resources that support fatherhood, such as work-life balance, paternity leave, and family-friendly policies.
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I have been called a lot of things in my long life — not all of them complimentary — but one of the most satisfying is being called Dad. It is a sobriquet I earned with the considerable involvement of the beloved Woman Who Shared My Name. It was teamwork at its finest, although I will admit she had the tougher part of the job. Birthing babies is not for the faint of heart.
This brings me to June 18. Father’s Day. A time to pay tribute to all fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers out there. But, alas, it is also a time of concern. Where have all the fathers gone?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 25% of our youth today are growing up without a father in the home. That is a staggering 18.5 million children. In 1968, 85% of children under 18 lived with two parents. By 2020, 70% did.
A report by the U.S. Department of Justice says that children from fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of all homeless and runaway youths, 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders, 71% of all high school dropouts and 75% of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers. And, I would presume, is a major factor behind the rise of gangs.
At the risk of sounding like the fossil I really am, it is easier to get a divorce than it is to work out the differences with each other. A jurist friend of mine who has presided over innumerable divorce cases says many times the dispute is over money, not the ultimate welfare of the children. Children become a secondary issue.
This assumes, of course, that they were married in the first place. The Pew Research Center says that today one-in-four parents living with a child in the United States are unmarried. Fifty years ago, the number was fewer than one-in-ten.
My brother and I didn’t get to pick my parents, but we agree we got two good ones and are the better for it. Our father left home at 16 with only a seventh-grade education and took a job with the Railway Express Agency. In his 49-and-a-half years with the company he missed exactly three weeks of work and that was due to an emergency appendectomy that kept him hospitalized. Today, I suspect this probably would be outpatient surgery — if they still even remove the appendix — and I have no doubt he would have left the doctor’s office and gone straight to work.
His was never a 9-to-5 job. He worked all kinds of shifts — sometimes daytime, sometimes evenings, sometimes overnight. He wasn’t around to celebrate a lot of holidays. We didn’t go fishing together or play catch in the yard. He was usually working. But we knew he loved us and we appreciated his sacrifices to give his sons a better life than the one he had known as a child. and he did. That both his boys were college graduates who did well in their respective careers was a source of great pride to him.
My father was never my pal. He was always my father. He was a man of few words, but those words were not subject to debate. Those words were law. His law. and we obeyed. My brother and I said “sir” and “ma’am” to all adults, ate everything on our plate and then asked our mother to be excused from the table when we had finished, remembering to thank her, as well.
He set a high bar for me as a father without intending to. He was just being himself. A quiet, simple man who taught me about the value of hard work, loyalty to those who employed me, and family first and always. He has been gone for some time now, but I revere him and his memory as do my own children, who have a hard time believing that their doting avuncular grandfather was the no-nonsense man I had described growing up. Grandparenting will do that to a person.
I don’t know what kind of grade my kids would give me as a father. Now that they have their own children and grandchildren, they are rightfully focused on the future, not the past. But even at this late stage of my life hearing them call me Dad is an honor and a privilege. I only wish more children today could have that experience.
Dick Yarbrough is a longtime Georgia resident and former public relations executive. Reach him at dick@dickyarbrough.com; at P.O. Box 725373, Atlanta, GA 31139; or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dickyarb.
https://www.dailycitizen.news/opinion/columns/dick-yarbrough-a-look-at-fathers-past-and-present-on-this-father-s-day/article_60d96430-09dd-11ee-a86c-93493fe99b4b.html
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